It’s Friday which, as The New Scum have learned, is “Candy Time” here at Ectomo, that horrible time when Papa Brownlee puts on his Magical Candy Codpiece and….actually, you know what? I don’t want to talk about this anymore…just…just leave me alone.

Candyman [Blame It On The Voices] : Baby Doll

Gather round Ectotots, for I have a tale to spin. You see, in my day we only had one kind of Asteriskpunk; the Cyberpunk. Making do with discarded circuit boards, thrifted leather coats, and a gaggle of goggles, we’d spend hours on painfully slow BBS’ trading questionably witty banter and dreaming of the day our neural interface wet-dreams would become a reality.

However, things, as they are wont to do, have evolved, and the Asteriskpunk fashionistas, in their constant struggle to remain fresh and relevant, are yet again devising new ways in which to pretend you’re from a future that time forgot. Which isn’t to say I haven’t enjoyed the evolution; Cyberpunk is my one true love, Eliza adores Steampunk (romanticizing an era in which “larger” women were popular how could she not), and Brownlee remains the one true Fezpunk.

Sadly, one member of our quartet has always felt left out; previously relegated to 21st century costuming (and hopping mad as only a man with the body of an infant can be) the inimitable Mr. Rosenberg can now join in our frolicking! Oh the fun we shall have, flying pretend airships over pretend post apocalyptic landscapes, battling golems and the Tzaddik along the way; all while Brownlee sits calmly at the helm, a fez resting up on his head at a rakish tilt.

Hebrewpunk [WarrenEllis] : SF Scope

Four Red Bulls, twenty hours, and a bag of squid chips later, it is done. The very first Ectoplamosis print broadside is ready for distribution.

But soft, ye say, what in blazes am I talking about? I’ll let Warren Ellis, Big Daddy to Ectomo’s Little Sister, explain:

The broadside has a centuries-long history as a device for disseminating news and ideas. I mean, flyers go up on the web to be printed off, sure. But it’s not quite the same thing. Getting an idea, or a piece of writing, on a single sheet and saying, yes, print this off, copy it and distribute it wherever you like — that’d be interesting.

In short, a single-page guerilla publication, distributed by xerox and zealous reader in coffee shops, cubicle farms, club bathrooms, 24-hour greasy spoon diners, on telephone poles, shoved under windshield wipers, wiped under windshield shovers, safety-pinned on unsuspecting hobos, and fluttering in a comet tail behind us, wherever we may roam.

The first episode of ECTOPLASMOSIS! is offered in three editions:

• US Letter 8.5 x 11″ one-side printed sheet: broadside1_standard_final.pdf
• 8.5 x 11″ borderless, all the way to the EDGE, man! For people with printers who can handle “borderless” printing: broadside1_borderless_final.pdf
• Eurotrash A4 8.3 x 11.7″, for our international clientele: broadside1_a4_final.pdf

This broadside is formatted specifically for easy printing and xeroxing, and features original artwork, an updated version of my famous Toxoplasmosis article, vintage illustrations, and an octobee coloring contest! Those of you who wish to curry our excellent favor, print and distribute with zest and enthusiasm! You will be rewarded in this life, and the next.

Stay tuned for more information about the coloring contest, a distribution contest, and other blunt mutterings from Brownlee.

To the insipid pap that was posted by half of the dynamic duo that are the New Scum’s fearless leaders. I’m not sure if you can appreciate just what a slap in the face that post was, dear readers.

Allow me to elaborate.

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