So there was this famous, striking billboard in Toronto that sits outside a church on College Street. The church had let it stay in a lovely state of decay for years, but recently decided to black it all out! I don’t know if they plan to eventually put up something new, but I decided that we should help them along. I thought that the congregation might actually like it, but I’ve been told that it’s already down…
Our deepest apologies, dear readers, for having fallen down on the job as of late in regards to one of our most sacred traditions. Needless to say, we are filled with a great sense of shame and assure you it will not happen again. If, in the future, one of us is unable to fulfill their obligations our newly acquired team of Korean animators will leap into action, producing original cartoons for your enjoyment, although in all honesty I personally cannot guarantee this. You see, by “team of Korean animators” I actually mean a Korean family that Eliza met — and subsequently forced into her windowless van — while running errands at Home Depot. They have tried to reason with her, explaining that they are involved in other professions, the father is a salesman for a lighting manufacturer and his wife works as a bank teller. The children are, well, children.
Eliza would hear none of it however, either assuming that they were lying or under the impression that all people of Korean descent have an innate ability to animate. The rest of the staff has done their best to ignore the situation, knowing full well that once Miss Gauger has set her mind on something, one has little chance of ever changing her opinion. It is for this reason that we do nothing when she insists that her aforementioned van has the ability to travel through time or that Qais is, in her words, “a spy sent by space Turks to steal her chocolate secrets.” Regardless it has been uncomfortable, the tired and nervous familial unit has taken up residence in our break room where they were horrified to find only four items : coffee, tea, pipe tobacco, and squid chips. It would be worse when they found out that these items were our sole sources of sustenance. The children, unsurprisingly, did not take well to the tobacco. Perhaps we should send out for food.
Ah well, I’m sure they’ll be fine, besides it’s cartoon time! Click through, loyal Ectomites, and witness their triumphant return!
P.S. Also, remember that if you visit the YouTube page for a particular video you have the option to watch it in high quality. Especially well suited to the anime.
A study was recently released that compiled survey data from English children. The purpose of the study was to determine the most comforting, entertaining, and healthful decor for children’s hospitals, which in my experience has ranged from vomitous pastels to vaguely confusing jungle scenes.
A University of Sheffield study of more than 250 children, aged four to 16, found the images were widely disliked.
[…]
Researcher Dr Penny Curtis said: “As adults we make assumptions about what works for children.
“We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.”
This study surprised me in the same way that studies showing a correlation between soft drink consumption and obesity confuse me: jesus freaking shit, NO DUH. Clowns are only enjoyed by adults, who are either perverse, facetious, or political enough to use their fearsome greasepainted rictuses (rictii?) for some purpose, such as sexual gratification or internet humor. I can safely say I have never loved a clown. Much less wept for one. Especially not a simpleminded, gape-faced horror of a clown.
Until now.
Something Awful goon Gaspy Conana, pixel artist, posted the preceding few panels in a thread titled “They are kicking Dropsy out of the circus. Please help him.” Using inspiration from the thread’s reader suggestions, oldschool LucasArts adventure games, and the gently probing finger of God Himself, he brought the story through dozens of episodes, several animations and songs, and thirtysomething pages of comments, cementing Dropsy firmly in the goon consciousness as friend and hero, and solidifying his own internet stardom. It was awe-inspiring to see hardbitten goons begging, literally begging, Conana to never draw Dropsy crying again. And the story wrapped up today.
This is a new kind of participatory media, my friends. Something lovely and funny and entertaining, something that combines nostalgia, art, and originality. I could not love Dropsy more.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
