Strange coincidences and eerie alignments this Tuesday morning. Steve Scott is a London based animation director and illustrator who also, apparently, has some sort of telepathic ability that has allowed him to lick the collective brain of Ectomo. This piece, entitled The Society of Victorian Mutants is as close as I believe I’ve seen to summing up the fetishes of Ectoplasmosis’s hive-mind in their entirety.

We don’t think it goes to far to say that Ectomo and Steve -if we may be so bold- should, and shall, be Best Friends Forever and we can hang out and do each other’s make-up and talk about tentacles and Cthulhu. We are sure of this, surer than anything in our entire, short lives. Make haste and hit up his site for an impressive collection of moustaches, Victorian fashion, robots, and pin-ups. Also, could you to pass him this note: “Do you like Ectomo? Circle one: Yes No”

Steve Scott [Artist’s Site] : Thanks, Bira!

As the random homosexuals on AIM keep reminding me — the ones who keep on bubbling up on instant messenger to quiz me about my professed interest in pipes while rubbing their wet, bloated tongues sensually around their mouths — pipes are phallic, and sucking on one is about as gay as it gets.

This depresses me, but not as much as do the random homosexuals who answer the phone when I call the suicide hotline with the barrel of a pistol in my mouth — the ones who triumphantly chortle from the other end, “A gun? In the mouth? How phallic! Honey, come out already!”

I’ll tell you, a heterosexual of staunch carnal rectitude, an appreciation for the ethereal gastronomy of pipe smoking and a history of wildly fluctuating suicidal tendencies just can’t win. I’m getting to the point where I’m ready to just hit eBay, pick up one of these wonderful (but doubleplus phallic) pipe/pistol combos and confirm all suspicions of my closeted gayness once and for all in a symbolically fraught suicide ceremony.

Pipe Shoots Through Its Stem [Modern Mechanix]

Years back, when I first started chomping a briar, I joined a pipe smoking club on Yahoo! This added “pipe smoking” to my interests in my Yahoo profile. 7 years later? I still get unsettling messages like this, out of the blue, from the Yahoo gay community’s pipe smoking fetishists:

09:03:07 danielspipe61: hey pipesmoker
09:03:36 danielspipe61: smokin that pipe?
09:03:41 danielspipe61: feel like a pipesmoke?

Oh, fetishists! What filthy habit won’t you masturbate to?