When I first saw one of these things my immediate reaction was, “Sweet! Space-toilets!” It took about 2.5 seconds for me to realize that these would not be the space-toilets that years of sci-fi TV had indoctrinated me to expect. There would be no automatic doors, no spongy material carpeting everything in sight, no toilet to thank me in calm tones for unleashing the wrath of the space-burrito into its glistening, chromed orifice before misting the air with rose perfume.

But I had to look anyway. I mean, come on, how many chances do you get to look inside a space-toilet? And it had just been installed that very day. The varied and vibrant street-life of Seattle couldn’t have caked the insides of the thing with their full palette of horror in less than 12 hours could they?

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After months of blissful 65 degree days with skies gray as wet stone (that led me to dream of a summer in which I wouldn’t have to pack my scarf away) Seattle seems to have suddenly realized it is in fact summer now and has been doing its damnedest to catch up. Today, the wretched twin bitches of Seattle in the summertime, cloudless heat and obnoxious humidity, ran rampant.

But my fair city has had enough, lashing out from the clouds we know and passive-aggressively love so well to break the wretched heat and provide we nocturnal, coffee-swilling albinos with a much needed respite, a beautiful display, and a lovely crashing accompaniment.

Lightning! [Seattle]

Much as I’m apt to complain about the many faults I’ve found in my hometown of Seattle, one of the things this town has that isn’t anywhere else is the haven of irreverent and strange that is Archie McPhee’s. To be perfectly honest I’m not even mildly surprised that McPhee is selling Lenin lollipops that taste like cola.

That is their thing you see, and they do it oh so well. Within the hallowed halls of this magical place you can find old medical equipment, radio parts, mail carrier uniforms, plastic animals of varying shapes, sizes, and species, and of course, Lenin lollipops.

Vladimir Lenin Head Pops [Archie McPhee’s : Hugo Strikes Back : Laughing Squid]

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason the Ectomo staff is no longer welcome at the Seattle Aquarium. In their defense, it was my birthday, the little critters stare up at you like puppies in a pet store window, waggling their tentacles as adorably as a tentacle can be waggled (and depending on your peccadilloes that can be fairly adorable to say nothing of enticing).

Johnny Crennan [Artist’s Site : Juxtapoz]

For some reason bear skin rugs seem fairly popular here in the Pacific Northwest. My daily net-based bargain hunting usually brings me across at least one, although often I find several of varying sizes and description. Now while the pelt of an animal that could easily rend me limb from limb gracing my floors is an appealing prospect the compulsory indoctrination of all Seattle residents to be animal-loving waterheads took root long ago and I simply can’t bring myself to buy a bear skin.

But that’s ok; for while killing a bear for its pelt is a horrendous thought to me, the idea of a horrific, child-eating monster meeting justice as my rug is just fine. I will sleep well at night, my belly full of “cruelty-free” faux-chicken and green tea, secure in the knowledge that these hideous freaks simply must be destroyed.

Monster Skin Rug [Thanks, Fredrickson Saru!]

Mike DiPetrillo has been a good buddy of mine since I noticed his AIM name, listed on Threadless (where he was responsible for one of their most popular designs) was a line from an extremely obscure song by an extremely obscure band. We bonded instantly over our superior taste in music, then discovered we lived in the same city. One bubble tea and horror movie later, we were budskis.

But I only did it because I knew, one day, I’d be physically close enough to one of Mike’s exquisite paintings that I’d be able to grab it and run. He’d invite me over for a few rounds of Bomberman and hummus (this is what people do in Seattle for fun), and I’d burgle the shit out of him.

Those Ectomites in Seatown tonight will have their chance to make good on my threats. Mike is having some sort of psychedelic art show at a cafe in the University District. He is claiming that his paintings will actually glow in the haughty dimness of the venue. Observe:

Event Info
Name: STAR SHOW
Tagline: Sit around and look at glow in the dark paintings while being a fucking snob

Host: Mike DiPetrillo
Type: Music/Arts - Exhibit

Time and Place
Date: Friday, December 7, 2007
Time: 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Location: Solstice Cafe
Street: 4116 University Way NE
City/Town: Seattle, WA

Contact Info
Phone: 425.941.3455
Email: mikeatron@gmail.com