Eliza put out a call for suggestions and the Ectomite Hive Mind responded with a bevy of bizarre links and nostalgic requests leaving us with a hodge-podge of old childhood favorites and surreal art-house films. Thanks to everyone who took the time to post and if you don’t see your contribution here, rest assured it will make an appearance in the very near future. Now, go Ectomomites! TO THE JUMP!
Street of Crocodiles: A grotesquely gorgeous bit of stop motion animation by the Brothers Quay, twin film-makers whose reptilian creation was noted as one of the best animated films of all time by Terry Gilliam.
Black Cat Bonzai: Honestly, I’m not entirely certain about the title, but all you really need to understand is that Mickey Mouse is an asshole, pure and simple.
Botched: Just another day at Ectomo H.Q.
Solar: A lonesome clockwork skiff drifts through the milky heavens going through the motions of an endless celestial cycle.
Overtime: A vaguely disturbing tribute to Muppet creator Jim Henson. Kermit is far, far more disturbing without pupils.
Haptics: A disturbingly accurate look at the future of man-breasts. Remain vigilant breastless men, it’s up to you to save us from this horrifying fate.
Rockfish: A new life awaits you in the Off-World colonies. The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure…New climate, recreational facilities…absolutely free. Well…sort of.
As you know yesterday was Brownlee’s birthday which meant that today I had to take an extra long shower. It’s no use though, no matter how long I scrub I just can’t get clean. In any event here is a nice little animated sandwich of spoof-tastic Fox Kids and Kids’ WB cartoons between two, moist slices of anime. I hope they will entertain you, our loyal readership, and I pray that, perhaps, they will help me to repress the events of last evening. Please, God…
• FLCL: We’ve entered the final half of this spectacular mini-series, and only two more to go. Will you just look at those eyebrows.
•Eek! The Cat and The Terrible Thunderlizards: Eek! did a number of film spoofs during its run and the two that stand out, to me, are “Lord of the Fleas” in which Eek is trapped in a shopping mall with some penguins — one of whom hysterically exclaims “Shut-up, Piggy!” — and this episode entitled “Eekpocalypse Now!, which thoroughly hits upon every major joke one could make about Coppola’s film. This one is for the adults, unless you were an eight year-old who loved movies about Vietnam. The Terrible Thunderlizards was its own show but was later merged with Eek! to create a variety show more like our next two entries.
•Tiny Toons: “A Quack in the Quarks” is the second episode of this seminal show and features a loose parody of Star Wars and a plethora of fourth wall shattering humor. In this episode Plucky Duck is kidnapped by aliens to Planet X to save it from the nefarious plot of Duck Vader. This was the beginning of a real golden age of Warner Brothers cartoons in the late 80s/early 90s that include Animaniacs, Freakazoid, and the Animaniacs spin-off Pinky and The Brain. Oh, and a Watchmen reference!
•Animaniacs “Super Strong Warner Siblings” is a brilliant send-up of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers which always marked the end of cartoon time. Animaniacs also did an Apocalypse Now parody which, while excellent, did not follow the plot as closely as Eek!. Next up is one of the many “Good Idea, Bad Idea” clips followed by my favorite, Pinky and The Brain. In this episode, entitled “Battle for the Planet”, Brain once again acknowledges his Orson Welles influence by attempting to fake an alien invasion ala the Mercury Theater’s broadcast of War of the Worlds.
•Paranoia Agent: Someone has some unpleasant secrets…
Disney’s Silly Symphonies - The Skeleton Dance: A classic cartoon from the days before Disney took to cranking out insipid musical after insipid musical. This is the stuff the very best childhood nightmares are made of, the skeletal remains of the long dead prancing about in a fluid manner that the living could never hope to approach.
The Animal World - Prehistoric Segment: An absolute masterpiece of stop motion animation. Dinosaurs duking it out in what has always been one of my favorite films, which should come as no surprise really; it is Harryhausen after all.
The History of Evil: An adorable, animated mockumentary on the evolution of evil from the days of ancient Greece to present. In a bit of disheartening hilarity, all that seems to have changed from then to now is the costumes the characters wear.
Angel’s Egg: The entree of this Saturday’s cartoon feast, Angel’s Egg is a bit of anime that truly helped shape and forcibly evolve the genre. Somehow in this evolution we’ve gone from stunning works of brilliance, such as Angel’s Egg, that are able to tell heartbreaking tales while remaining light on dialogue, to animation factories cranking out shallow, superficial Saturday morning sweetmeats for the consumption of Western children so hopped up on cereals sugared to the point they could reasonably be classified as a controlled substance.
Freakazoid in “Candle Jack”: Broadcast in patented Scream-O-Vision for the first time in network history, I just want to point out that the first kid’s idea of the scariest thing in the world is pretty terrifying. All the air in the world, turning to wood simultaneously? One day, you’re just respirating with all the swagger of a carbon-based-lifeform, just showing off your lungs, not a care in the world. The next thing you know? You are encased in a wooden sarcophagus on all sides, enormous logs crammed down your throat and up your bowels, your lungs tearing themselves apart as they try to breathe splinters. Terrifying indeed. Thanks, Professor Robot!
The Wonder Twins in “Drag Race”: Despite their godlike transformation powers, the Justice League’s most useless members are incapable of stopping a typical teenage drag race. “An eagle? Carrying a monkey? *Crash*”
A Random Car Chase Scene from Mind Game: Though both physics and plausibility defying, perhaps the best animated car chase in cartoon history. Thanks, clevetheripper!
Aeon Flux - “Leisure”: Analyzing this short would probably be impossible without the director commentary on full-blast. Nevertheless, I shall attempt it! Aeon penetrates a downed alien craft with the intent of pilfering the eggs of the intelligent spacefaring species. But when she is distracted by her own egregious sadism before making her escape, things go horribly wrong. Cameo by Qais Fulton at 0:30.
The Little Mermaid - “Poor Unfortunate Souls”: From the movie that taught my generation of teenage girls to throw tantrums, lust after older men, and make deals with the devil. It’s fine, Daddy will bail you out and you’ll marry your prince in the end. (fuck yeah, Seaking!)
Jesse Schmal - “Sub!”: An exquisitely-timed, hysterically funny, stunningly expressive story of one sunny afternoon in a cool Italian plaza.
Annecy 2006 - “Pyrats”: A vicious crew of corsairs take down a Carribbean port in pursuit of their missing mate.
Pearl Jam - “Evolution”: Featuring one of the It Girls of semi-obscure animation, a treatise on, what else, the hideous corporate/military machine.
Shea MacFarland - “The Cycle of Art”: While the animation here is severely lacking, the concept is so good that it bears watching, anyway. As one YouTube commentor put it, “I am an art double major and this feels like a grim story of my life…”
Sand Animation: A truly incredible mashup of performance art, projection, and near-animation.
It’s Saturday! These are cartoons! It is not, however, morning. Two out of three ain’t bad though!
• FLCL continues and just gets stranger and stranger.
• Courage the Cowardly Dog. Why isn’t this how on DVD? WHY? This episode, entitled “The Tower of Doctor Zalost” is among the show’s best. The second short included in this particular show was entitled The Mask which is about a cat and a bunny who are lesbians. Unfortunately I couldn’t find it. Feel free to link to it in the comments if you come across it.
• Darkwing Duck in “Twin Beaks”. I loved this show when it was on. This particular episode is a brilliant spoof of, you guessed it, Twin Peaks and includes references such as a talking log, and a diner with excellent pie and “darn good coffee”. They manage to make it just as surreal as David Lynch’s murder mystery. Also, bonus Far Side joke!
• Ducktales: “Much Ado About Scrooge”. Scrooge and the boys go after the lost, cursed play of William Drakespeare. Ducktales and Darkwing Duck were set in the same world and characters like Launchpad and Gizmoduck featured prominently in both shows.
• Paranoia Agent: “Double Lips”. After being attacked by Lil’ Slugger, Yuichi’s name is cleared and he can finally relax. His tutor, Harumi Chono,unfortunately has other things to worry about. She has a second personality named Maria who spends her nights as a prostitute. Harumi has no control of herself during this time, nor can she recall what happened afterwards. After receiving a marriage proposal, Harumi decides to get rid of Maria, but can she? This one has some sex edited out of it so that YouTube wouldn’t take it down. Just an FYI.
Editor’s Note: The episode of Iron Man posted is a strange, seemingly famous Arabic show from the 80’s that I discovered in my search for cartoons to fit my horrible pun; it is simply wonderful.
Ren and Stimpy in Mad Dog Hoek: Due to the endless legal prowling of both John Kricafalusi and Nickelodeon, Ren and Stimpy episodes don’t last long on YouTube, and the ones I want like Space Madness are never there. It doesn’t matter: seasons 1 and 2 of Ren and Stimpy were unmitigated brilliance as a whole. It’s a shame that John K. has become the Harlan Ellison of the cartooning world: an undeniably talented artist but so utterly cantankerous and up-his-own-ass that all he does is spend all day raving about those talentless kids of today who can’t wait to sell out.
The Human Torch Raps from The Fantastic Four: This is totally for real. From the 1990s Fox Saturday Morning series.
Spongebob Squarepants in Sailor Mouth: I have to apologize for this one. This episode in which Spongebob and Patrick learn how to swear is absolutely hysterical in its original incarnation, with all obscenities bleeped out by the braying sounds of dolphins. It’s perfect. Unfortunately, no one will upload that version: the only versions that are available are ten thousand re-dubs in which some anacephalic mouth breather moistly shouts “FUCK! SHIT! PUSSY!” into his mike whenever Spongebob and Patrick utter an expletive, or the version I’ve chosen to use here, where the dolphin noises are replaced with network-style bleeps. Hopefully the cartoon will still work for you if you haven’t seen it.
Droopy Dog in Droopy Dumb-Hounded: The single, perfect example of the surrealist Hollywood cartoon chase, in which one character begins to fray around the edges as he tries to escape a slow, lumbering but utterly inexorable pursuer. Directed by Tex Avery, natch; this is also the first appearance of Droopy.
Wallace and Gromit in The Wrong Trousers: Not the whole thing, just the chase scene at the end. I worry that not enough people saw this in the theater when it came out: this one scene had every single person in the audience standing up and cheering when they saw it. It’s unfortunate that Wallace and Gromit, while always sublime, never managed to top this.
Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot in Patriotic Games: Another episode of Geof Darrow and Frank Miller’s curiously overlooked cartoon series. After an accident test piloting a prototype time machine sucks Big Guy into a vortex into the past, Rusty and Lieutenant Dwayne Hunter return to a future in which humanity is ruled by cephalopodic squid creatures and every American speaks with a British accent. The twist in this episode is great.
Aeon Flux in A Last Time For Everything: The Aeon Flux half-hour episodes were never up to the standard of the sublime Liquid Television shorts, this is one of the better episodes. Trevor develops a method for creating human duplicates. After Trevor copies Æon, the real Æon conspires with her doppelganger and switches places with her, but finds her loyalty to Monica challenged; meanwhile, the copied Æon prepares to kill the original. Dig the Russian assassin with the hands for feet.
Kenshiro Kasumi in Fist of the North Star: Just a little palate cleanser, as Ken explodes some post-apocalyptic mutant’s heads through the lightning-quick jabbing of certain key pressure points.
O-Ren Ishii in Kill Bill: A lecherous pedophile yakuza boss is taken down by a young, almond-eyed Lolita.
Saturday morning fast approaches, and while cartoons may be the order of the day, a Saturday just isn’t a Saturday without a sloshing bellyfull of cereal so sugared the inevitable crash feels like heroin withdrawal. With which sinister cereal will you sate your savage sweet tooth come Saturday morning?
A slightly different format this weekend. Oscar nominations have been announced and while the pithy award show is as much an indication of cinematic excellence as one of Eliza’s massive bowel movements, it does draw attention to films that may otherwise have gone unnoticed. With that in mind Ectomo presents the nominations for Best Short Animated Film. Hit the jump for enough embedded video to make your browser weep.
The Head Saves The Earth: More cartoons need to feature the phrase “In the name of Science!”
Pedro and Frankensheep: From the The Brothers McLeod of Spamland fame, a sneak preview of Pedro and Frankensheep. Hyper-intelligent bear things anyone?
????? - ?????: I…I don’t even know. JAPAN!!!
The Future of Transportation: I love these kind of old Disney cartoons for their frankly hilarious yet intriguing take on the future.
Skeleton Warriors: I had long since scrubbed the EPIC intros of early ’90s cartoons from my brain. I can just see my childhood self now, twitching in the throws of a sugar high and anticipation as guitars squeal out the intro to another campy cartoon.
Home Movies - Everyone’s Entitled To My Opinion: An ode to bloggerati everywhere.
Hit the jump for your special cartoon surprise! There’s one at the bottom of every delicious box of Saturday Morning Crunch. Continue Reading…
Witness the candy deliciousness that is Saturday morning cartoons: creamy, comedy goodness in a sweet, crunchy anime shell!
• FLCL continues its meteoric, guitar wielding, robot spooging, sexually awkward descent into madness, in the second episode, “Firestarter”.
• Some of my earliest and fondest memories of Nickelodeon involve Rocko’s Modern Life. Featured today are two episodes, “No Pain, No Gain” and “Unbalanced Load”. The intor is the version from season two, featuring the talents of The B-52s.
• I am no fan of Seinfeld so I maintain that Duckman is the best work Jason Alexander has ever done. “The Noir Gang” does a fantastic job of incorporating the show’s perverted, foul-mouthed detective and porcine sidekick into a black and white film noir motif.
• If you had told me that a re-boot of Max Fleischer’s Felix the Cat would be worth it, I may have condescendingly sniffed at the idea. However Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat was an amazing cornucopia of oddity and downright weirdness. Two episodes for you: “Phony Phelix” and “The Petrified Cheese” which features a cleverly named shamus named Seamus. “Ok, pally, let me fill you in on the facts. The skinny. The scam. The poop.”
• Paranoia Agent “The Golden Shoes”. Who is Lil’ Slugger? For Yuichi “Ichi” Taira, the most popular kid in school, top of his class in academics and sports, who plans to run for Student Council President, his golden roller blades and red baseball cap are cause for growing concern among his peers, turning his life upside down. Now, paranoid and looking for a way out of this new nightmare, he focuses his attention on foreign transfer student Shogo “Usshi” Ushiyama, convince he is trying to ruin him.
By request, The Inhumanoids: How those of us at Ectomo have missed The Inhumanoids so far is beyond me; rife with unintentional hilarity and a giant mutant monster bearing a resemblance to our dark lord, The Inhumanoids is right up Ectomo’s alley.
The Head Saves the Earth-The Date: A classic tale; boy meets alien, alien takes up residence in boy’s head, boy meets girl, alien takes up residence in girl’s head.
Ah: A gorgeously rendered tale of soup worlds and small zombie children. As often as I despair at the state of CG film, it is the small art films like Ah that reach out a hastily constructed metaphoric hand to stroke my expansive, gelatinous forehead and remind me that everything will be alright.
Bump In The Night: Stop motion animated closet monsters combine forces with their rag-doll cohorts to scare the ever-loving shit out of each other. I have such fond memories of this show as a child, the passing frequency of stop motion animation from the early 90’s is at least lamentable and at worst a tragedy.
The Sunshine Makers: Happy elves inflict horrific chemical warfare on their gloomy, freakish, incredibly dapper cousins. Remember kids, if anyone looks, feels, or acts differently from you it is your solemn duty to poison and/or medicate them until they too enjoy a good red-assed frolicking.
If you’re wondering why there are no new episodes of The Maxx you may blame Viacom who, at some point yesterday, swept through YouTube and removed them. Ah well. There is plenty of strangeness left to fill the void. Witness, and be entertained:
• First up is Paranoia Agent, the television series from anime filmmaker Satoshi Kon. If you have never seen any of his work, do not let the seemingly nonsensical opening throw you off, this is one of the most mature and intelligent series done in the past few years. Beware the boy with the golden bat…
• Ah FLCL, also known as Fooly Cooly, a series that was decidedly nonsensical. There are few ways to describe this short, six episode series, that would give you any impressions of it other than “Whaaaa?” which is, most likely, the same reaction you’ll have after having watched it.
• Musical Interlude! If you are uninterested, now would be a good time to refill your bowl of Cocoa Puffs or use the restroom. Our show will resume momentarily.
• Two episodes of Courage the Cowardly Dog, “Cabaret Courage” and “Freaky Fred”, which follows a long tradition of worthwhile cartoons by appealing to adults as well as children, without frightening/confusing/boring the latter. “Hello, new friend, my name is Fred. I said, my name is Fred; the words you hear are in my head. I say, I said, my name is Fred and I’ve been very NAAAUGHTY.”
• The Real Ghostbusters, the first episode, entitled “Knock Knock”, written, as many of the first two seasons were, by J. Michael Straczynski. Before the series lightened up in the third season, in order to appeal to a wider and younger audience, this show was, at times, genuinely scary and always brilliantly animated. That quality of animation is especially apparent here.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
