YouTube has been alive with the murmurings of Muppets recently, and I’m not just speaking of the fan-made variety. Just about two weeks ago this clip of Beaker performing Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” hit, and I was thrilled to see the inclusion of everyone’s favorite curmudgeonly critics, Statler and Waldorf. Now they have appeared in four, very short clips all featuring internet-centric one liners, the best of them easily being “Meh”, in which the dysfunctional duo find a place they can call home. To be honest, I’m not sure if these are old or not, but whatever the case I hope there is more.
As a child you may remember the moments of abject terror that you felt between the time when the lights in your room being switched off and when you passed out from sheer exhaustion. Those minutes stretched themselves into hours as you huddled, alert to even the slightest sound, under your blanket, its protective shell broken only by a small opening in order to allow fresh, cool air to enter so that you could breathe. Wrapped in your cloth cocoon you were safe from Closet Monsters, Boogeymen, and Dire Otters.
Fast forward and you have, hopefully, outgrown your fear of the dark. Certainly, such ridiculous fears like being torn apart by over-sized aquatic mammals are best left in the hazy land of childhood. You know now as an adult — older, wiser, and with a trail of life experiences behind you — that such fears are totally unfounded, especially when cast in the light of real threats like Natural Disaster, Terrorism, and People — No Doubt Minorities — Coming To Take Your Stuff.
We’ve profiled other bedroom protection accessories before but they pale in comparison to the level of protection offered by the Quantum Sleeper, a device that takes the protective blanket and replaces it with a bulletproof shell, complete with a bevy of features from a rebreather and “Biochemical Filtered Ventilation” to a refrigerator, microwave, toilet system, and DVD player. That is to say that the Quantum Sleeper is not so much a bed but more like a smaller, safer house inside your house, that also happens to be a bed.
The inventors of the Quantum Sleeper are quick to point out that they developed it before September 11th, lest you think they are merely reactionaries or overly paranoid when, in fact, they are just being practical. Unfortunately this fantastic contraption is unavailable as of today, the inventors are still looking for funding. They estimate that a unit would cost somewhere in the area of one hundred, thirty-five thousand dollars to manufacture. They do, however, have a demonstration model that they made from wood, a decidedly less fire, tornado, chemical, and machine-gun resistant material than advertised, but capable nonetheless of giving prospective investors an idea of the device’s real world attributes and that is, at least, one step forward for your peace of mind. Isn’t it?
No one is taking the future envisioned by 99% percent of anime a step closer to reality than Dubai, who recently revealed their selection for their newest “Look how much money we have, motherfuckers!” building project, the 6th Crossing:
FXFOWLE INTERNATIONAL’s proposal for the architectural design of a 1.7km (1 mile) and 205m (615 feet) bridge in Dubai was selected by the country’s Roads & Transport Authority in a major international design competition. The firm’s winning bridge design further advances the infrastructure and transportation initiatives in Dubai. FXFOWLE’s design makes the 6th Crossing the largest and tallest spanning arch bridge in the world.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
