Now here is a simple, classic looking beverage container. 15 ounce stoneware cups, with an octopus silhouette in bas-relief. A worthwhile addition to any cephalopod-centric dining experience.

octopi cup [Supermarket] : core77 : Thanks, Spiraltwist!

A promotional piece for Samsung’s new NV24 HD camera. The clip, featuring a safari, yawning lions, “Banana Boat Song”, and some questionable computer animation, teeters precariously on the edge of absurd and insipid just before losing its balance and plummeting into the abyss when the half eaten corpse of an antelope rises briefly from the dead to sing a verse and, perhaps, jiggle its entrails.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Amazing Yawning Lions [YouTube] : Thanks, Brain!

Welcome to Ectomo’s 33rd Mostly-Weekly Saturday Morning Cartoons Show. Today we present to you a smorgasbord of delectable animated dishes; a smattering of drama, horror, humor, and vintage erotica served up steaming hot for your enjoyment. So sit back, relax, and prepare to have you senses assaulted with ‘toonage!.

• Don Hertzfeldt. welcomes you to the show!

• Transformers: “”More Than Meets the Eye Parts 1-3″. Over an hour of thinly veiled toy commercials masquerading as a children’s cartoon. Learn how the Autobots and the Decepticons came to Earth and which plastic and die-cast metal action figure to beg for! Seriously though, while the cartoon doesn’t hold up particularly well and while it is just a glorified toy commercial, I still can’t shake my love for Transformers.

• Comedian Louis C.K. uses animation to explore some of his father issues.

• Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure: A piece of animation history; the first pornographic cartoon. Rumor is that it was made for a private party in honor of the great Windsor McKay and that such visionaries as Max Fleischer and the Mutt and Jeff studio were involved.

• The Real Ghostbusters: “The Boogieman Cometh”. One of my favorite episodes of this show, the design for the Boogieman is just brilliant, his oversized head, replete with glass-shard like teeth, and cloven hooves makes for a great image.

• Intermission, by Don Hertzfeldt.

• Welcome To Eltingville: “Bring me the Head of Boba Fett”. The first and only episode of this cartoon based on Evan Dorkin’s Eisner-Award-winning “Eltingville Comic-Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Role-Playing Club” published in the pages of Dork. Featuring four gentleman — Bill Dickey, Josh Levy, Pete DiNunzio, and Jerry Stokes — who are friends of a fashion, but geeks to the fullest. In this episode a battle erupts over the ownership of a Boba Fett figurine and hilarity thus ensues. Cameo by MC Chris, which I’m pretty sure was a prerequisite for [adult swim] cartoons for a while.

• Paranoia Agent: “The Holy Warrior”. Detectives Ikari and Maniwa interrogate Lil’ Slugger who confuses his realities and believes that the world around him is a medieval-style RPG while his quest is to defeat the evil Gouma who possesses other people to fight. Ikari and Maniwa follows Lil’ Slugger through his “journey” and see that it does coincide with all of the attacks — all except for Tsukiko Sagi. However, Lil’ Slugger points the detectives to where the old lady is who may posses the truth.

• The end of the show, by Don Hertzfeldt.

Saturday Morning Cartoons XXXIII: Action Figures And Porn Edition [YouTube]

If you find umbrellas unwieldy and raincoats to be not quite absurd looking enough, then you may be interested in the UFO Cap, a combination of the two from Korean manufacturer Koryo Industrial. All I can think of when I look at this device — seemingly designed to make the wearer’s head and shoulders resemble a large, yellow, rain repellent nipple — is the image of Korean school children being blown down the street, their serving tray sized neck accessories turned into sails by the wind.

UFO Cap(Umbrella) [Alibaba] : Weird Asia News

BLU’s Muto: animation on a public wall. Beautiful surely, but I couldn’t help but think about all the artwork he covered up to make it (I know, it’s a public wall, it comes with the territory.) Thanks to Ry-Tron and everyone else who sent this in!

The Octo-Dog Frankfurter Converter. It turns your hot-dogs into octopuses. The Ectomo hive-mind cries out in ecstasy for such a device.

From the artist who brought you Elder Clean Soap comes Shoggoth Jasmine Tea. Thanks, Jezcabelle!

Don’t you fucking dare post knitting patterns for Dr. Who characters. So sayeth the BBC, though most likely it was worded in a far more politely threatening manner filled with words contain superfluous “u”s. Thanks, August Moon!

Alas, poor Yorick. Thanks, Tim McElwee!

Inky hard at work. Or is he? Alt+Tab Command+Tab, Inky, COMMAND+TAB! Thanks, Scott!

A huge photo collection of miniature junk-bots. Thanks, Bela!

As a child you may remember the moments of abject terror that you felt between the time when the lights in your room being switched off and when you passed out from sheer exhaustion. Those minutes stretched themselves into hours as you huddled, alert to even the slightest sound, under your blanket, its protective shell broken only by a small opening in order to allow fresh, cool air to enter so that you could breathe. Wrapped in your cloth cocoon you were safe from Closet Monsters, Boogeymen, and Dire Otters.

Fast forward and you have, hopefully, outgrown your fear of the dark. Certainly, such ridiculous fears like being torn apart by over-sized aquatic mammals are best left in the hazy land of childhood. You know now as an adult — older, wiser, and with a trail of life experiences behind you — that such fears are totally unfounded, especially when cast in the light of real threats like Natural Disaster, Terrorism, and People — No Doubt Minorities — Coming To Take Your Stuff.

We’ve profiled other bedroom protection accessories before but they pale in comparison to the level of protection offered by the Quantum Sleeper, a device that takes the protective blanket and replaces it with a bulletproof shell, complete with a bevy of features from a rebreather and “Biochemical Filtered Ventilation” to a refrigerator, microwave, toilet system, and DVD player. That is to say that the Quantum Sleeper is not so much a bed but more like a smaller, safer house inside your house, that also happens to be a bed.

The inventors of the Quantum Sleeper are quick to point out that they developed it before September 11th, lest you think they are merely reactionaries or overly paranoid when, in fact, they are just being practical. Unfortunately this fantastic contraption is unavailable as of today, the inventors are still looking for funding. They estimate that a unit would cost somewhere in the area of one hundred, thirty-five thousand dollars to manufacture. They do, however, have a demonstration model that they made from wood, a decidedly less fire, tornado, chemical, and machine-gun resistant material than advertised, but capable nonetheless of giving prospective investors an idea of the device’s real world attributes and that is, at least, one step forward for your peace of mind. Isn’t it?

Quantum Sleeper [Product Page] : Warren Ellis

Hannah, a librarian, has no respect for religion. None. This smug book dominatrix laughed at Reuben and his insipid belief in Noah and the Great Flood, but who’s laughing now? Reuben, that’s who. Reuben and God, because Reuben decides to challenge Hannah to a race, and after doing so, he seems to defecate behind a bookshelf. Then they, along with mute friends Priscilla and Cain, are transformed into a scarf wearing horse, a rhinoceros who wears a beanie and honks like a goose, if said goose was having its testicles squeezed in a vice, a pig in a top hat, and, lastly, a cougar who, of course, dons a pirate hat and an eye-patch. Then the race begins.

They race through water and they race on land. They dodge exploding barrels and exploding balloons. They weave through animal-crushing pillars and hide searing flames. OH, and they fly! They shoot themselves out of cannons and ride missiles! Then, at the end, they have a big disco dance party with Noah while a disco Ark of the Covenant shoots multi-colored lights out onto the dance floor. Why you ask?

Because fuck you, that’s why.

The Zoo Race [Cougar Interactive] : YouTube : Thanks to Timfastic

Ever wanted to have a tentacle arm? Do you and the little lady (or little man) have a hankering for some hentai inspired role-playing? Gaia Online (insert 4chan memery) has you covered, then, with this offering of suction-cup bedecked, polyester goodness.

Tentacle Arm [Gaia Online Store] : Kotaku : Thanks to Ninja-bot and Chris Ferstad!

The cover to Ron English: Abject Expressionism, the new coffee table book comprising twenty years of the work of pop art prankster and billboard liberator, Ron English.

Ron English: Abject Expressionism [yumfactory] : Hi Fructose Magazine

As you watch this video please, feel free to hum the main theme from Terminator 2, it lends ambiance to a clip showing a toy that we want, nay need, desperately, like air or coffee. For anyone who lives in Japan we will accept as many of these as you are able to send. If it helps, we will give you Qais in exchange. He’s slightly used but I would grade him VG+.

Lokuloku [Product Page] : Gizmodo

For those who don’t know, the gentleman in the video, Tay Zonday, created quite a stir six months back (or roughly ten thousand Internet years) with his song “Chocolate Rain”, a repetitive and horribly infectious tune which dealt with the issues of racial injustice and rage, societal tensions, and stepping back from the mic to breathe in. Combine this with the mocking adoration of two radio imbeciles and you have a video that has racked up millions of hits.

Enter Dr. Pepper®, a company who has chosen to prove once again that corporations will take any trend, no matter how insipid or fleeting, and use it as fodder for advertising. For their new cola, Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr Pepper, they have produced the YouTube video “Cherry Chocolate Rain” featuring Mr. Zonday doing a “pimped out” sequel to his original hit complete with beats that one might describe as “phat” if one were so inclined, an unknown enthusiast of the rapping arts, Mista Johnson who, according to his site, goes by the alias Felonious Monk in an insult to one of jazz’s greatest composers, and, of course, scantily clad women gesticulating with the enthusiasm, coordination, and talent of someone being cleansed of demons or in the throes of a grande mal seizure. Lest one forget that this video references “the interwebs” a stuffed squirrel, complete with shocked expression, is also featured near the video’s conclusion.

I suppose that in a way, ridiculous as this ad may appear, it is perfectly functional for the purposes it was made to serve. Memes rarely last very long, perhaps just long enough to cover the life of a limited edition beverage. In this regard it seems perfectly suited. However, one has to wonder if that is even long enough, or if companies even have the resources or foresight to take advantage of these trends. Considering the internet community’s ADHD-esque tendencies and the random appearance and instantaneous popularity of videos like “Chocolate Rain” it seems to me that advertisers will be perpetually late to the party.

“Cherry Chocolate Rain” Original Song by Tay Zonday [YouTube]

I’m not big on children, with the exception of their use as a source of nourishment. However, if I did take a break from my daily regiment of jolting my testicles with a cattle prod and imbibing gallons of Mountain Dew long enough to allow me to spawn, I would most certainly begin educating my future cultist with Baby’s First Mythos, written by C.J. Henderson and featuring illustrations by Erica Henderson. The inscription for the two plates above should lay to rest any doubts that this should be added to your clandestine curriculum:

D is for DAGON,
Because he’s one of the gods,
And not for the Deep Ones,
Who’re a step up from frogs.

4 is for the NIGHTGAUNTS,
Who abandon victims in the Vale of Pnath.

I for one would not trust America’s educational system -or any other’s for that matter with, perhaps, the exception of Leng’s- to teach my vaginally excreted, uterine parasite child traditional Cthulian values. Would you?

Baby’s First Mythos [Z-Man] : Lux Mentis, Lux Orbis

Q: I already have a shotgun handy. Why not keep it where I have it?
A: Because you would have to get up and find it, losing valuable time.

And really, that’s the problem isn’t it? I don’t know about you but I use my shotgun for everything: turning off light, opening cans, erotic massages. Everything. And it’s always with me. However, it’s infuriating that, morning after morning, I have to get out of bed to shut off my alarm clock because my shotgun is just out of reach.

Well, the makers of The Back-Up know this feeling well. The Back-Up is a gun rack that is placed under your mattress, allowing you easy access to your shotgun when “in the lying position in your bed”. Presumably this makes it easier to take down the intruder who breaks into your boudoir, looking to run off with your jewelry and/or your woman or for when, your eyes and brain both still cloudy with sleep, you blow the heads off of little Bobby and Jane as they burst in on Christmas morning.

Back-Up Home Protection [Product Site] : CORE77

The first electric vibrator, invented by a British doctor in the 1880s in order to facilitate vulvular massage, an accepted form of treatment for those diagnosed with hysteria (now referred to as Histrionic Personality Disorder) and neurasthenia. It allowed doctors of the time to facilitate many more patients than had been able when the procedure was performed manually and brought some patients to “hysterical paroxysm” in as little as ten minutes.

Your grandmother’s vibrator [Slate]