Welcome to Ectomo’s 33rd Mostly-Weekly Saturday Morning Cartoons Show. Today we present to you a smorgasbord of delectable animated dishes; a smattering of drama, horror, humor, and vintage erotica served up steaming hot for your enjoyment. So sit back, relax, and prepare to have you senses assaulted with ‘toonage!.

• Don Hertzfeldt. welcomes you to the show!

• Transformers: “”More Than Meets the Eye Parts 1-3″. Over an hour of thinly veiled toy commercials masquerading as a children’s cartoon. Learn how the Autobots and the Decepticons came to Earth and which plastic and die-cast metal action figure to beg for! Seriously though, while the cartoon doesn’t hold up particularly well and while it is just a glorified toy commercial, I still can’t shake my love for Transformers.

• Comedian Louis C.K. uses animation to explore some of his father issues.

• Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure: A piece of animation history; the first pornographic cartoon. Rumor is that it was made for a private party in honor of the great Windsor McKay and that such visionaries as Max Fleischer and the Mutt and Jeff studio were involved.

• The Real Ghostbusters: “The Boogieman Cometh”. One of my favorite episodes of this show, the design for the Boogieman is just brilliant, his oversized head, replete with glass-shard like teeth, and cloven hooves makes for a great image.

• Intermission, by Don Hertzfeldt.

• Welcome To Eltingville: “Bring me the Head of Boba Fett”. The first and only episode of this cartoon based on Evan Dorkin’s Eisner-Award-winning “Eltingville Comic-Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Role-Playing Club” published in the pages of Dork. Featuring four gentleman — Bill Dickey, Josh Levy, Pete DiNunzio, and Jerry Stokes — who are friends of a fashion, but geeks to the fullest. In this episode a battle erupts over the ownership of a Boba Fett figurine and hilarity thus ensues. Cameo by MC Chris, which I’m pretty sure was a prerequisite for [adult swim] cartoons for a while.

• Paranoia Agent: “The Holy Warrior”. Detectives Ikari and Maniwa interrogate Lil’ Slugger who confuses his realities and believes that the world around him is a medieval-style RPG while his quest is to defeat the evil Gouma who possesses other people to fight. Ikari and Maniwa follows Lil’ Slugger through his “journey” and see that it does coincide with all of the attacks — all except for Tsukiko Sagi. However, Lil’ Slugger points the detectives to where the old lady is who may posses the truth.

• The end of the show, by Don Hertzfeldt.

Saturday Morning Cartoons XXXIII: Action Figures And Porn Edition [YouTube]

My own particular genetic mutation is the ability to mentally redirect every fluid ounce of blood roiling through my capillaries into my head.

What happens is this: first, my eyes go milky and begin to google wildly around inside of my ocular cavities. My chapped lips peel back from my teeh and split back to my ear lips in a horrible, chattering rictus. Witnesses describe somehow hearing a soundless, silent scream as my fluid-filled skull turns a deep bruise color and, pulsing, bulbously expands. My retinas detach as the internal pressure pushes my eyeballs out of their sockets on thick, dripping stalks. And if I ever let myself go beyond this point, I have no doubt that my skull would explode, instantly covering several city blogs in a slurry of grey cerebral goo.

You think I’m joking. I’m not joking. It is a display that a hydrocephalic of my acquaintance once described as an abomination unto the sight of God.

Unlike the X-Men, I have never managed to find a way to use this talent for good, but I did spend many years cluelessly demonstrating this ability on first dates. The joke was a good one: I’d cause my skull to explode, then explain, “This is what my face looks like during orgasm.” Unfortunately, women only like guys with a good sense of humor up to a certain point, and that point seems to be the prospect of making love to a man who, during the highest moment of pleasure, suddenly transforms into Ronny Cox from the end of Total Recall.

I’ve stopped doing this trick for now, but for reference, this haunting gallery of Russian men demonstrating their O-face is a slightly less nightmarish equivalent.

Russians Doing Their ‘O’ Face [Webpark.Ru] : Hugo Strikes Back!