Before Sting went off on his own to create adult contemporary music for bored suburban housewives, he and his band The Police created pop music for the girls who would grow up to be those bored suburban housewives, releasing classics like “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” and “Roxanne”, which is possibly one of the more annoying songs ever recorded. “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” does, however, perfectly fit in with this week’s theme. Not only does it chronicle the tale of a schoolgirl’s crush on her teacher, who in turn is tormented by his feelings of lust — which I believe is why Sting strips off his suit towards the end, although it could merely be some kinky, Tantric thing — but it also mentions Lolita with the verse:

It’s no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov

Self-righteous literary snob that I am I can’t help but cringe at the mispronunciation of “Nabakov”; and as for good old Humbert Humbert being an “old man” well, I suppose someone eight years older than you would seem ancient as well if your were the one wearing a graduation gown and angel wings.

The Police - Don’t Stand So Close To Me [YouTube]

Lolita is Ectomo’s favorite novel. We are smugly convinced, Brownlee and I, that we understand the sweetness, the despair, and the adoration that ebbed and flowed between Humbert Humbert and his ward better than the average prole.

Lest we forget what we’re dealing with here, Humbert reminds us:

Now I wish to introduce the following idea. Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as “nymphets”.

I flatter myself by supposing I was such a creature, and that the now-subsumed demonlet crashes around inside my grown-up body still.

Intoner alerted me to this unreleased Sneaker Pimps song, which exists only as an acoustic performance from a radio program. There are dozens of songs about, by, and for nymphets of all stripes. I’ve challenged John and the New Scum to grace Ectomo’s days with them, all this week.

She was soft
She was unbroken
Dressed in the pink
That she wore as a token
To the summer
To the summer

Continue Reading…

Russian Authors - set of 1″ buttons [stanleyleiber’s Etsy]