Mathew Rainwaters returned from Alaska after documenting the World Beard and Mustache Championships with a fantastic and terrifying collection of images. Something happened up there in the frozen north; something that broke men’s minds and shattered souls. This is the wide-eyed stare of the lost.

Beardfolio in Progress [Artist’s Site]

A moustachioed mortician and his assistant make a plaster death mask, circa 1908.

The old and lost art to make mortuary masks. [vintagephoto]

Josh Lesnick [thanks jwz]

While I have smoked a cigar or two in my time on this azure globe, it was never a habit that I took to. Having been a long time cigarette devotee the idea of inhaling fumes from tobacco that did not give one a heady rush seemed absurd. After all, I was smoking because cigarettes made you look cool — also, addiction — which I found seemingly impossible with a giant tube of rolled tobacco leaves in my hand. They always made me feel like my clothes should be wrinklier and I should use the phrase “youse guys” with aplomb.

That said, no cigar I ever smoked bore a band with a moustache and monocle emblazoned upon it, like these designed by Taylor Pemberton. Perhaps these would help to alleviate my self-consciousness and allow me to freely enjoy the finely flavored fumes that such a pastime offers without feeling like someone cos-playing as J. Jonah Jameson.

Student Spotlight: Taylor Pemberton [The Dieline] : Thanks, Kiwi!

It’s been 18 months since Flickr user dogseat uploaded an image of his epic facial hair, which we previously featured on these very pages, though with some slight misgivings. During that time he has continued to cultivate his impressive locks and both they, and he, appear a little older, a little wiser, and perhaps a little more world weary then when last we met. Still, it remains a triumph of follicular fortitude and we wish dogseat well. A quick word of warning, however, before we go. Dogseat, you are at a dangerous point in the facial hair cycle. Any more growth and you may risk having your glorious ’stache developing sentience. I need not tell you how this can ruin lives, just look at Alan Moore. Poor man is swiftly becoming a desiccated husk while his parasitic beard remains full and healthy. Just something to think about.

_DSC9559 uploaded by dogseat [Flickr] : Thanks, Zo!

[thanks Moustache Soup]

Archibald was well known in the social circles of his hometown of Dayton, Ohio for his varied and sundry costumes. He was also known for using the same, signature expression in all photos, which he was convinced gave him an air of effortless cool. Even his closest friends did not have the heart to inform him that this was not the case and, indeed, that most people thought he was a dork.

2for1 [vintagephoto]

Having met only four weeks previously — at the third annual Conchologists of America convention in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, 1977 — many were sure that the marriage of Irving Simkin and his new bride, Gertrude Simkin, nee Beasley, was doomed. There were whispers among Gertie’s family that Irving was far more interested in her inheritance than anything else. The pistachio heiress and her husband knew better, however, and 5 children and 22 years later continue to prove the naysayers incorrect.

The ever wonderful Bibi, curator of Bibi’s Box, dropped us a line letting us know that moustache enthusiasts have managed to, unsurprisingly, worm their way into Flickr Commons — which hosts large numbers of photos uploaded from the Library of Congress — adding the handy “greatmustachesoftheloc” tag to photos featuring the classiest of hirsute accessories.

Truly there are some spectacular and historic moustaches to be found, such as this fine specimen worn by Dr. Francisco Bertrand, twice president of Honduras; once from March 28, 1911 to February 1, 1912 and again from March 21, 1913 to September 9, 1919. He spent his last years in exile after abandoning the presidency due to what is commonly believed to have been pressure from the U.S.

Tags/greatmustachesoftheloc [Flickr Commons] : indicommons

I apologize, dear readers, yesterday was Monday and, due to things being what the experts call “bat-shit crazy”, I was unable to post. As a peace offering, I give you a photo of a man, bedecked in fine riding leathers, who is shocked to find he suddenly has a hawk perched on his arm. I fear that posts may be sporadic this week, as the aforementioned insanity shows no signs of abating.

For Serious Riders Only [tofutti break]

The first time I spied Wes Borland — the carbon-eyed, red-headed stepchild in Fred Durst’s disturbingly dull rap-metal family — I was more than a little confused. Stuck in the back behind the broad shoulders of cap-twisting whitebread boys with poor impulse control was this diminutive, thin-faced, gloriously gangly figure. As if a musician to whom you might actually be interested in listening became lost on the way to a photo shoot with his real bandmates, and then stuck around with Durst and friends for kicks.

Years later, Mr. Borland continues to confound, eschewing the perils of rap-metal in favor of mustachio’d industrial music with his band Black Light Burns. And while you might be hesitant to peruse Borland’s latest releases based on his history of bandmates, I can assure you that from hirsute tattoos to moustache to melody, Black Light Burns is a vast improvement.

[Black Light Burns]

Cowboy [My[confined]Space]

Union general, industrialist, governor, U.S. Senator, and the first president of the National Rifle Association. Sideburns are named for him and his, then singular, facial adornment.

Ambrose Burnside [Wikipedia]

Here at the Ectomo franchise empire headquarters, we’re cooking up the most delicious, the most ridiculous, the most fun-in-the-bun, value-pack’d merchandise, you just have no idea.

All this week we will be rolling out Ectomo feature 1″ pinback buttons, starting with Moustache Monday.

These buttons are manufactured by hand in my stinking apartment at a high-grade metalurgy facility somewhere on the west coast, and are guaranteed not to succumb to atmospheric re-entry metal fatigue.

Moustache Monday Buttons [Etsy]