When Ross approached me with his business offer I didn’t really see the harm. Just clamp the apparatus to my armpit before shuffling off to the land of nod every noon and collect my pittance from the dresser in the morning. They always use the dresser.
Had I known he intended to actually market my sudations I’d have asked for more than $3.75 per diurnal marriage of man-pit and machine.
An informative documentary on European master — and Ectomo favorite — Peter Bruegel. The level of detail in his paintings has always astounded me and this episode pointed out some details that I had not been aware of. Something nice and laid back to start off your Wednesday.
It is unfortunate that were I to let my hair grow long enough it would simply expand into a tangled nest of staggering proportions, a prime example of the dreadful Jew-fro; denying me the simple pleasures of The Executive’s well-shaped elegance or The Perfecto’s sleek profile.
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but we have just made a shocking discovery: Ross Rosenberg, erstwhile Ectomo blogger, is a Jew.
DON’T PANIC. While this is pretty much the worst thing Eliza and I could have possibly imagined when we began the hiring process for part-timers, there is a contingency plan in place. But slathering all planar surfaces in raw bacon takes time. In the meantime, I’m sure you’re all wondering what you can do to prevent Ross from stealing your babies in the night and selling them for a profit on the Hassidic black market… a profit which will undoubtedly be used for the procurement of the most decadent and kosher of snortable nostrums. And I’m sorry to say, the bottom line is we just don’t know.
So we turn to Hamas in our hour of vulnerability. Like a vast army of Buffy the Vampire Slayers, Hamas knows a thing or two about fighting Jews, and through their avatar — an anthropomorphical rabbit named Assud with a jones for Mohammed — we can learn how to beat the Armies of Zion at their own game. After all, Assud’s got a point: Ross can’t eat us if we eat him first.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
