Modern Method

Contact Us!

          Destructoid  |   TomoPop  |   MiamiNights  |   PopRox  |   Ectoplasmosis!

16 Have Spoken

In Hong Kong, Bench Fucks You

Posted by Ross Rosenberg

hk-man-penis02.gif

On the night of August 7th, Hong Kong police received a frantic call from a 41 year-old gentleman named Xing. He informed the officer that he was trapped in LianTan park. His stated reason? It seems that while meandering through the park, he had espied the salacious, perforated curves of one of the many benches dotting the grounds and, seeing that no one was around, he decided to do what any right-thinking, virile man would do. He decided to fuck it.

Problems soon enough presented themselves when Xing realized that the object of his affection had so firm a grasp on his member that he was unable to extricate himself. In a panic, he called the police who, finding his penis too swollen with blood to safely remove from the bench, were forced to cut the bench free and transport it, with lover attached, to the hospital where it was removed. Doctors remarked that, had he remained in the bench’s embrace for much longer, they would have had to remove his genitals in order to free him.

Let this serve as a lesson to all you would-be bench sodomites. Yes, they may be sexy and, yes, they may be “asking for it”, what with their polished surfaces and their exposed fastenings; but behind the weather beaten paint and wrought iron there is a darker side. There is a price to pay for your late night dalliances. Can you afford it?

Original Story [atnext] : Weird Asia News


Categories: Inanimate Objects, Perverts, WTF, Sex
Posted at 12:55 pm on August 8, 2008
16 Comments -

Contact Us!


Archives

  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • Other

  • Contact Ectomo
  • Download B-Sides!
  • Advertising
  • Join Ectochat
  • We Like

  • Destructoid
  • Gibberings
  • In Qais of Emergency
  • Jhonen Vasquez
  • Susurrations
  • The Weekly Geek
  • Warren Ellis
  • Wurzeltod