The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that in 2007 64% of high school graduates enrolled in college. For a multitude of reasons I have never been one of their ilk. Yet I’m told that college is a place to broaden one’s horizons; to learn new things and experience things you might not otherwise have experienced in your isolated pre-post-secondary schooling world, a place to question ideals long held as true and expand upon one’s own repertoire of knowledge. A kindergarten for the real world if you will, but with liquor and venereal diseases.

Apparently the hordes of apple-cheeked co-eds fueling this idea are all acting as agents of subversion and deceit; sowing falsehoods throughout society in an attempt to create a society of unquestioning automatons adequately prepared for the endless toil of an office. But only after being bilked out of thousands of dollars.

Thankfully, there are people like Miss Priya Venkatesan working from within the system to undo this previously obfuscated treachery.

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Higher education is not an area that we at Ectomo spend much time dwelling on with, perhaps, the exception of Brownlee whose Ivy League education requires a certain amount of sneering condescension every month. I, as previously mentioned, attended art school, which is a bit like paying an absurd amount of money to attend four years of kindergarten, albeit with more drug use and more opportunities for sexual encounters featuring multiple participants. On the other hand Eliza, when questioned about her education, responded with “the streets” which I take to mean that she was part of a Dickensian pack of pickpocketing urchins or that she attended a school run by hobos out of refrigerator cartons. Qais’s Bedouin lifestyle, of course, did not afford him the luxury of college. However, those years spent traipsing about the desert did imbue him with various, real world abilities such as hunting rabbits with dogs and navigating by the stars. He can also tell you where the nearest well is in relation to your current whereabouts.

As such, we are not apt to recommend a particular college or university, nor should our readers turn to us for such advice. That said, if one were inclined to pick a school based on its support of the Follicular Arts one could do a lot worse than the University of Chicago which, on February 27th, is resurrecting its Great Mustache Race after an apparent sixty-eight year hiatus. It is an auspicious occasion, marred only slightly, by the pedestrian spelling of “moustache”. Such pedantic trifles must be put aside, however. The school must be applauded for contributing to, hopefully, a resurgence in facial hair education as well as being progressive enough to allow women to participate. For too long have women been denied the ability to partake in the sport of hirsute facial appendages. We await the outcome of this contest with great anticipation and look forward to it spreading to other schools.

The Great Mustache Race Is Back! [Flickr] : uploaded by dpaymas : Thanks, David!