Ripped from the very neural simulation spaces of Qais Fulton’s mental “barn o’ bad-assed bestial boning” comes the above video, a complement to his most recent post about the guy who died from horsey/human butt ballet: purportedly a clip from a documentary that aired outside the United States concerning zoophilia and all manner of weirdos who have all manner of weirdo sex with their pets, we get to watch a be-mulletted blonde guy and a lady who looks like she should be behind the counter of some “quaint” roadside Americana store selling Yankee Candles speaking very candidly about how they…well, “go ’round the world” with the lady’s miniature stallion. Discussed are their first date, in which the woman decided to try the “shock factor” on her prospective beau by ducking under the horse for a quickie, their marriage, and their current sex life…with the horse. At no point do the two ever discuss actually meshing genitalia in the traditional human-on-human approach, which leads me to believe their marriage is actually a farce–indeed, actually a threesome, in which one member is, well, a horse. Do I hear charges of bigamy?! Going once…going twice…?

I’ll bet ANY reader Out There in Ectomoland that one or both of these horse-humpin’ honkies are furries, as well. So, to anyone checking out that event in Atlanta on the 29th, keep a keen eye out for two people in horsey costumes, who may be rubbing up against each other in a manner thoroughly inappropriate to a family place like a bowling alley. If so, approach with caution: they were last sighted trying to make a campfire and chasing each other around with leathered donkey dicks.

(BTW: What the hell is up with me an alliteration these days? Damn!)

Ahhhh, the Sixties. The Era of Peace, Love, and Testing Psychoactive Substances on Your Own Country’s Troopers Without Their Consent. Even though such a thing is Obviously Wrong in every possible way, you still can’t help but feel that the British GIs in the above clip definitely got the good end of that stick the day they were rationed Electric Kool-Aid along with their breakfast kippers!

Let’s just hope that those were NOT live weapons the troops were totin’ around the Fancy Forest as the trees began to speak to them in bright purple love poems….

Just a reminder: trepanation is a proven cure for migraines, depression, myopia, nose bleeds, sore throats, constipation, dysentery, syphillis, plague, erectile dysfunction, seizures, nocturnal omissions, homesickness, wussiness, Jewishness, Caucasianism, menopause, Down Syndrome, hydrocephalus, night terrors, acne, Asian Bird Flu, Athlete’s foot, elephantiasis, sentient goiters, fetally absorbed twins, and many more besides.

However, due to a conspiracy orchestrated by the insidious HMO trepanation industry (see Michael Moore’s Sicko) most how-to guides are written in such a way as to merely mitigate medical issues through trepanation, as opposed to curing them outright. This guarantees future treatment. Just remember that all illnesses can be cured by following your DIY Trepanation guide up until step 9, then mentally substituting ectomo’s own step 10: while wiggling the handle, keep the bright yellow trigger of your electric drill depressed for an extra five seconds while applying equal pressure.

Trepanation Images at the Wellcome Medical Image Library [Bioephemera]