A young John and Eliza caught on film during the scant years before their respective idea afterbirths achieved serialization. As you can plainly see, Eliza was quite the fetching creature before the mange set in.

Thanks, Haux!

The power of Ectomo is both wondrous to behold and terrifying to contemplate, as any ectomite knows all too well. Certainly it is a wonder closet of dazzling proportions but it also has a dark and unholy box perched on its top shelf, high up where little ones can’t get to it. Things lurk in this neat little package, things not fit for the minds of man, let alone his spawn.

One must assume, however, that some will find their way into Ectomo’s stash, perhaps when it was left out on the table; after all, these things do happen and the occasional moment of forgetfulness can be forgiven. Not so in this case, however. No, faithful readers, no in this case we must turn our stern eye of judgment toward one Nathan Myers, a gentleman with a wanton disregard for human life and a destroyer of innocence. Mr. Myers is responsible for the most heinous of crimes he has shown his no doubt wonderful and carefree eight year old daughter Ectomo’s secrets and wrought untold damage.

Once exposed to the tentacled, crawling blasphemy contained therein his once lighthearted progeny at once fell into a deep morass of babbling, incoherent madness; her eyes, no doubt, displaying the same dual irises portrayed in In The Mouth of Madness. Her mind shattered, she shuffled off and immediately took up a waxy writing implement and began to work feverishly, trying desperately to put on paper the horror that now assaulted her mind’s eye in a futile attempt to make sense of it.

The product of this sick experiment was this piece, entitled “Sun Goes Like This”. As you can see, clearly the dank recesses of Ectomo have wormed their way into every aspect of the poor little girl’s world, rendering everything a tentacled nightmare. A parade of transmogrified beasts — Shoggoth, perhaps — travel through an empty wasteland under the scorching gaze of a mindless, Cthulhoid sun, led by what appears to be a banished Innsmouth resident upon a R’lyehan death-horse. Truly a bleak and terrible world and a warning to all: the power of Ectoplasmosis is mighty and not to be wielded by those who would prove irresponsible. Take care, Nathan Myers, your daughter’s lost sanity rests on your head.

I used to play Warhammer years ago as a small awkward boy in the back my friend’s father’s toy store. Every week the store would close early and my friends and I would wage epic war on a massive table covered in detailed landscape we had all put hours of work into. We knew with a grim certainty that this was as cool as we were ever going to get.

Years later I have abandoned that past time in favor of pursuits more closely related to poking unnecessary holes in my face and perfectly replicating the coiffure of a teal cockatoo. However, it may be time to dust off those miniatures once more.

What? You thought I got rid of them?

Apparently Ectomo is a playable type in the Warhammer Universe! Oh sure, they call them “Amber Wizards” but doesn’t that gesture look a bit too familiar? And I’m fairly certain those are the exact dimensions of Eliza’s horribly deformed equine skull resting atop that pike. Further evidence is in the very description of the class:

Their magic is merciless and inhuman, caring little for the ways of Mankind and recognizing the savage heart that lies under the veneer of civilization that adorns every Human soul.

Now c’mon, who does that sound like to you?

Amber Wizard [Thanks, Wolven!]

The esteemed photographer Vanessa Yaremchuk puts on the ritz, just for me, in Whitechapel’s Self Portrait Image Thread, a rogue’s gallery of talent, piss, and vinegar.

February Self Portrait Image Thread [Whitechapel]

Having just returneth from the deeps, and by that I mean the Tokyo Games Show, I can say with authority that I have squandered more yen on rice crackers, train tickets, yaoi, and squid chips than I care to relate.

I miss Tokyo with an intensity I did not expect. Even now, sitting in my squalid yurt somewhere in the Bay Area, I can think only of boarding a train crammed with fragrant schoolgirls, only to emerge five minutes later in gorgeous, novel parts of a metropolis so bizarre that even the dump trucks say Please and Thank You.

I would like to extend our gratitude to Ross, Derek and Qais for holding down the fort so admirably while we were gone. They really did better with Ectomo than Brownlee and I have been doing these days, although we’re both getting back on the horse as soon as we stop shitting mochi.

Official Going Like This at TGS, originally uploaded by Ectomo.

Brownlee and I are in the offical Tokyo Games Show Press Room, enjoying delicious cold tea and even colder stares of disgust and condemnation from our game-journalisming peers.

Taken at a 2am tapas bar somewhere in Oakland, sent to me by her mobile phone, now broadcast to the rest of the world much to Ectomo’s better half’s Cthulhonic chagrin. Note: the calamari is not actually on fire. It is a mere trick of the light as it bounces, plasma-like, off of the shiny, reflective surface of Eliza’s tiny android nose.

After two weeks and 22 entries, we’ve finally picked our winners for our Cthulhu Cthursday “Goes Like This” Contest.

Picking two winners was not easy: as far as we’re concerned, every single one of you deserves the honor of being devoured first when Great Lord Cthulhu comes slithering to shore, and a consolation prize of a Cthulhu plushie until that glorious day.

As we sat down to judge the contest, Eliza and I realized the daunting task ahead of us. What was our criterion to be? Many of you — Chesh, Stammell, Jones, etc.) had tried to game the vote with props like eye patches, goggles, fezzes and moutstaches. Others of you — like Jilder, Giannia and Nicole — were attractive women who might possibly be bribed into having sex with me if you won the contest. And others were small children, batting their big moon cow eyes, trying to garner the sympathy vote… as if we had any sympathy whatsoever for our filthy larval forms.

Ultimately, Eliza and I decided to each pick our own personal favorite. The two grand prize winners, after the jump:

Continue Reading…

Needless to say, tomorrow’s Cthursday, so hit us up with links, either in this comments thread, in ectotweet or via email. But also, this is your last shot to enter our Cthulhu Cthursday “Goes Like This” contest and get a chance to win one of two Cthulhus.

We’re going to be closing submissions in a few hours, then Eliza and I will confer on the winners. So if you want one last shot, pose in front of your web cam with your hand splayed tentacle-like in front of your mouth, then email us the picture or drop a link into the comments of the official thread.

The entries we’ve received so far are embedded above and linked below. If yours isn’t there, we probably just missed it, so try emailing me directly.

Cthulhu Cthursday “Goes Like This” Contest Entries [Flickr]

I’ve been grinding my teeth for the last few hours, my fillings shooting sparks, trying to get to the bottom of the whole “Goes Like This” Flickr technical difficulty, where you couldn’t see the slideshow or the set if you weren’t logged in to Flickr (effectively making the whole thing useless). All the images had the correct permissions, they were all work safe. What gives?

Well, it turns out our Flickr account is not considered work safe, thanks to several smutty pictures Eliza has uploaded, replete with breasts and cunnilingus and the word fuck. Flickr has therefore flagged our account as adults only, which means no one can browse it if they aren’t logged in.

In other words, I’m going to have to create a new account for the contest entries, which blows. However, the good news is that this means we’re extending the “Goes Like This” contest for another week, and we’ll be giving away both first and second prizes to two lucky winners. This is just as well, as Eliza has vanished, and we haven’t been able to pick a winner for last week yet.

So if you haven’t entered, there’s still a week to win. Get to it! We’ve gotten some new entries in the last 12 hours so I’ll get a working slideshow up later today.

After some early reticent, we’ve got about 8 solid entries for our “Goes Like This” contest so far, and we’ve uploaded them all to Flickr so you can take a look and vote on your favorite in the comments. The award will not be entirely democratic — Eliza and I reserve the Floridian right to completely overturn the vote if we deem fit — but chances are it’ll all go to popular vote. We’ve uploaded the entries so far to the Goes Like This Flickr set, and you can see them in the Flash slideshow above: just click an image to find out who sent it in.

Incidentally, Eliza and I are going to put our sticky foreheads together later tonight and communicate through the morse-like pulsing of the cerebral goo beneath, so you still have time to enter the contest and win yourself a plush Cthulhu. This is a ridiculously easy contest to enter: all you need to do is take a picture of yourself with your hand in front of your face and drop a link to the image here, or email us. Get to it, holdouts! Although some of the more clever readers of this site have tried to game the vote with eyepatches, Cthulhus and fake moustaches, we’ve yet to get a really hot girl “go like this” while standing around in a bikini. Someone, for god’s sakes, make it so.

Cthulhu Contest “Goes Like This” Entries Set [Flickr]

Joshua Stammell Goes Like This, originally uploaded by Ectomo.

In an enantiomorphic world, reader Joshua Stammell “goes like this” over the head of his patchwork cat, a gorgeous feline throughly engrossed in the collected works of tfarcevoL .P.H. He gets extra points for the moustache, but will his moustache trump Jilder’s delectably tongueable eyehole?

Reminder: you’ve got only one day left to take a picture of you with a limp-wristed hand dangled in front of your face in tribute to Lord Cthulhu’s own tentacled mouth. Winner gets a Cthulhu plushie. We’ve only got three entries so far, which is an embarrassment. So come on: load up that web camera, take a picture and either email it to us or post the link in this thread.

Jilder Goes Like This, originally uploaded by Ectomo.

I think of eyepatches much like I think of G-strings. Ripped away with my teeth, both reveal a gooey orifice waiting to be delectably licked and plunged. And who else but Ectomo’s own lovely reader Jilder could carry off that lingerie of the face so well? And the fact that she’s “going like this,” holding one drooped hand (silkily ensconced in a gothic lady’s evening glove) before her mouth in simulacrum of an Eldritch maw? It just makes her empty eye socket all the more plungeable. Jilder! Date me. Your lips say no, your eyes say no, but your empty eye socket? It says yes.

And now that I’m done skeeving, hey, you slackbums: if Jilder can take a picture of herself “going like this”, so can you. Best picture gets a Cthulhu plushie and you have until Thursday to enter! Either drop us an email with your picture or drop a link in this thread. Do it! Lord Cthulhu Commands You!