The official stance of the Church of Scientology on homosexuals:
“The only answers would seem to be the permanent quarantine of such persons from society to avoid the contagion of their insanities and the general turbulence which they bring to any order, thus forcing it lower on the scale, or processing such persons until they have attained a level on the tone scale which gives them value.”
Although official statements have been released that this is no longer the case, and that Scientology in fact does not care about the sexual practices of its members, I am inclined to doubt them. The Fair Game policy of Scientologists states that any church member may lie, cheat, or steal to destroy the enemies of the church. Misinformation is standard operation procedure.
Speaking of questionable fashion choices, just in time for the impending nuclear and/or sun scorched apocalypse (or Burning Man, whatever) Ectomo brings you the Medusa. When this thing appeared on my screen I audibly gasped, it’s like someone reached into my brain and groped around until they found the specific squishy fold housing all my cranial accessory fantasies. With a hat and goggle set like this I would be unstoppable, or hilarious, or oft ridiculed and savagely beaten. Unfortunately I’ll never find out; with a price tag of $750 for the complete set my dreams of achieving total fashion alienation may be forever out of reach.
Gather round Ectotots, for I have a tale to spin. You see, in my day we only had one kind of Asteriskpunk; the Cyberpunk. Making do with discarded circuit boards, thrifted leather coats, and a gaggle of goggles, we’d spend hours on painfully slow BBS’ trading questionably witty banter and dreaming of the day our neural interface wet-dreams would become a reality.
However, things, as they are wont to do, have evolved, and the Asteriskpunk fashionistas, in their constant struggle to remain fresh and relevant, are yet again devising new ways in which to pretend you’re from a future that time forgot. Which isn’t to say I haven’t enjoyed the evolution; Cyberpunk is my one true love, Eliza adores Steampunk (romanticizing an era in which “larger” women were popular how could she not), and Brownlee remains the one true Fezpunk.
Sadly, one member of our quartet has always felt left out; previously relegated to 21st century costuming (and hopping mad as only a man with the body of an infant can be) the inimitable Mr. Rosenberg can now join in our frolicking! Oh the fun we shall have, flying pretend airships over pretend post apocalyptic landscapes, battling golems and the Tzaddik along the way; all while Brownlee sits calmly at the helm, a fez resting up on his head at a rakish tilt.
Modeled by Zack and Allison. Photo by Robert Brown.
The moustache, dear friends, belongs to me. And it is a doozy. Human hair, delightfully brown, and set lovingly into a flesh-colored mesh base, which we savagely glued to Zack’s upper lip. He was not allowed to remove it until his tears softened the spirit gum.
Artist, musician, toy-maker, robot overlord: there is nothing the incredible Dr. Steel can’t do.
A shiny bald skull throbs with gelatinous cerebral might; inside, purple arcs of electricity shoot from one self-implanted flux capacitor to the next, bringing strange visions of a robot rock future to the eccentric mad scientist, which he brings to life by using his sinewy arms and insane scientific acumen to build a loyal army of mechanical men. He also recruits sexy red-headed nurses and Girl Scout Lolitas for his cause. Dr. Steel is wonderful.
I’m really taken by this video and have played it over and over. The first pass through is great entertainment, with men toiling in darkness and then the giant abusive Snow White. Something about this version of the tale strikes me as “more true” than the conventional telling. And without the line of little men waiting fearfully for their spankings, I don’t think it would have been as brilliant.
Watching a few more times, I starting looking more into Snow White’s drug use. It does explain her abusive behavior, but in the end the director leans hard on the apple. Is it a play on Eve & the Tree of Knowledge? That didn’t seem to fit.
I looked up the lyrics, and that really sent the message home.
(excerpted)
Here comes the sun
It’s the lightest star of all
The sun is shining out of my eyes
It will not set tonight
It can burn, it can blind you
When it breaks out of the fists
it lays down hotly on your face
It lays down painfully on your chest
Balance is lost
It lets you go hard to the floor
and the world counts loudly to ten
So nothing about Snow White, fairy tales or abusive women. The lyrics use sun (repeatedly “Hier kommt die Sonne”) as a metaphor for a drug high. In the video, Snow White as Sonne then is not the drug user, she is the ADDICTION.
So when the apple falls in the end, it is the same as from the fairly tale. But instead of putting an innocent child to sleep, this POISON APPLE reawakens the ADDICTION.
And in the denouement the men are back underground, toiling to satisfy her endless demands. Brilliant work.
Almost certainly one of the greatest works of derivative culture created in the past century, this video portrays Snow White as only the Germans could interpret her. The special effects are flawless, the message is crystal clear, the parody is pitch-perfect. And at 3:24, an image that could sell a thousand albums all by itself, but I won’t spoil the surprise.
One is reminded of Tom Lehrer’s words of wisdom: “When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I can tell you stories about Peter Pan, and the Wizard of Oz: there’s a dirty old man!”
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
