Most of have at least one song in our musical catalog that upon being listened to, regardless of your current mental state, will reduce you to a pile of emotional rubble almost immediately. This week the EctoEditors will reveal their aural Achilles heels in an unabashed display of weepy sentimentality.
Daft Punk isn’t exactly the band you first think of when discussing depressing music, but the plodding bass line in concert with a slow, high hat heavy rhythm, and lyrics of lost love in this track results in an immediate deflation in my otherwise chipper modus operandi.
While I’m fully aware of the effect the song will have on me, I simply can’t help returning to it time and again like some battered lover in an abusive relationship.
Finally, a toy seemingly made specifically with Ectomo in mind. A fez, smoking jacket, slippers, and sunglasses can be a hard combination to pull off, but Ennui Man, the creation of Nick Dewar, does so with a singularly apathetic aplomb. Tentacles and virgin sacrifice sold seperately.
I think I speak for everyone at Ectomo when I say that we’re all convinced that this is how we’ll find Eliza one day: kicking her tiny atrophied chicken legs as the putrescent curtains of her gelatinous flab slop over the sides of the filthy toilet to which her suppurating backside — so much like the hemorrhoidal posterior of an elephant seal, raised upon a diet of mayonnaise! — has biomechanically merged.
Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend’s toilet after sitting on it for two years.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”
More seriously, this is an interesting example of the dangers of a finger-pointing society that always wants to incriminate someone. The authorities are trying to figure out what files to charge against her boyfriend, who brought her food and water on a daily basis. He certainly sounds like an idiot, and we can certainly question the parameters of any relationship where one party not getting off the toilet for two years qualifies as romance, but if we locked up the life partner of every obese woman who had decided to enthrone herself upon a toilet 24 hours a day in order to maximize convenience and minimize caloric expenditure, we’d have to imprison the paramour of every female World of Warcraft player ever.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
