Heather Longton and Ellen Noble’s first prize winning photograph for a contest held by online shoe emporium, Irregular Choice. I imagine that, moments after this shot was taken, the porcine fellow looked up at the half-clothed nymphet, then promptly dropped his snout and began gnawing her foot off.

The IRREGULAR CHOICE Photography Competition [Irregular Choice] : Digital DJ

And you thought we’d forgotten, shame on you. While seemingly not as popular as coloring an Octobee, we received a bevy of fantastic entries for the Broadside distribution contest. Sadly, while we’d love to shower you all with gifts from the black pits of hate beyond the stars, doing so negates the whole point of you vying for our affection (or our fabulous prizes). Lacking the tridents and nets we usually employ to declare a clear victor it came down to doing what we at EctoCorp do best, sabotage and bickering until one of our machiavellian agendas won out.

And the winner is…
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We’re a long time coming with the announcement of the winners of our first OctoB-Side Coloring Contest. There’s good reasons for that, of course: on my part, I point to a conspicuous doner kebab and the subsequent spool of intestines slithering beneath my chair, gaseously spurting any time I eat. Eliza, on the other hand, has been boot stomping in the streets in a crusade against Xenu; Qais has been trying to grow a luxurious moustache and, failing that, been gluing dreadlocks of pubic hair to his upper lip; and finally, Ross has been indulging in a talmudic orgy of baby eating for which his people are known.

But those are all tertiary excuses. The real reason judging took so long is because each and every entry we received was an utterly perfect work of art, a unique snowflake made up of chromatic suckers and writhing limbs. You all deserve Cthulhus. Unfortunately, we must pick three, if only to save on shipping.

And The Winners Are…

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That’s right mein Ectonauts, our glorious contest has come to a close. We’ve received a veritable torrent of entries, all of them simply amazing and absolutely hilarious. We must now retreat deep within the bowels of Ectomo HQ for much deliberation, but rest assured, we will announce the winners (and prizes) very soon.

Broadside Distribution [Jay Hathaway]

There are only two days left to submit your entries for the Broadside distribution and Octobee coloring contests. We’ve got a fantastic set of entries so far but we need more! Start hustling those Broadsides as if your very life depended on it (which thanks to the highly addictive drug coating each page it actually kind of does), scribbling those little Octobees to your heart’s content, and prepare for an onslaught of glittering prizes. Entries will be accepted as a link in the comments or via email. Now get cracking, Ectonauts!

Octobee [Thanks, Nark!]

The end is extremely fucking nigh, intrepid Ectonauts. Nearly a month ago we enlisted your assistance in the indoctrination of your peers and the opportunity to show off your glistening right brain with the announcement of Ectomo’s Broadside distribution and Octobee coloring contest. Everyone promptly forgot about the contest and I began construction on a papier-mache rocket ship to get us off this stinking mudball and start a tentacle based sex cult on Mars. Imagine our disappointment at the discovery that papier-mache doesn’t stand up to space flight quite as well as we’d all hoped; it turns out we’re Earth bound for the time being.

Yet our crushing disappointment at another missed opportunity to wear a spacesuit 24/7 means glittering prizes for you and yours! Monday January 28th we will announce the winner of Ectomo’s Octobee coloring and Broadside distribution contest. You still have a week to color an Octobee and cover your city with Broadsides via crop duster so set your hands to scribblin’. Send us all your completed Octobees and proof of B-side distribution and we’ll announce a winner next week. Check out the glorious works of your punctual comrades at the EctoFlickr. Good luck!

Octobee [Thanks, Shin Rhys!]

Pantomime: Churchill and Chaplin [ASIFA-Hollywood Animation Archive]

Ah, sweet, sweet Legos. Many hours did they entertain me as a child and the stupendous complexity of the Star Wars Collector’s Series continues to entertain me as an overgrown, awkward, and embarrassing man-child. However, I have lost some of the imagination I had in my younger days leaving me unable to produce inventive works like this steampunk T.I.E. Fighter, made by RebelRock for the FBTBForum Steam-Wars contest. More pictures after the jump.

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OH SWEET GOD THAT MAN HAS TENTACLE PIT! Thanks, Andreas!

r ator reminds us that the Tcho-Tcho people of Leng, located on a plateau just north of the Dreamlands have been making fine, Eldritch chocolate for generations or, perhaps, for a few months.

I’ve been fired many times from Ectomo; once for not procuring a picture of Spiderman for Eliza for the front page of the evening edition. Where was CB with Scott C’s Fez wearing Spiderclique then?

Ever wanted to be suspended from the ceiling in sculpture that looks suspiciously like viscous fluid excreted from the loins of a giant? Kimi points out that artist Ernesto Neto has you, eh, covered.

Llamapillar! Thanks, Shark Diver!

Anders Sandberg points out that Britons are already preparing their children for the return of the Old Ones.

Oh, and the moustachioed, zombie Octobee? Perhaps a subtle reminder, via Rhys Hale, that there is still an Octobee Coloring Contest going on!

By now, all of the ectodrooglings have seen our triumphant first salvo into the respectable print medium: the broadside.

Our xeroxed b-sides have been taped to countless telephone polls, where they have quickly transformed into mushy, unreadable pulp. What omniscient mind can count the number of drunk New Year’s Eve revelers that, taking a break from barfing and booyeahing to visit the toilet, have found their minds edified on the nature of toxoplasmosis even as they micturate? For that matter, how many hobos have wiped themselves with our pompous musings? Three? Four? One thing is clear: the b-side is a triumphant symbol of ectomo’s value as a whole.

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Our first Cthulhu shipment went out last Friday and was gratefully received by the young squidlings of Jim and Karen Beesley. Despite the fact that Erin was taking a bath and Sam was douching out his gaping eye socket, they immediately fell into a thrashing frenzy of R’lyehian glossalia in front of their make shift Eldritch Shrine at the dining room table. Jim and Karen write:

The Cthulhus (Cthulhii ?!?) have arrived and they appear to have settled in - they immediately set up a Tupilak and created a candle light shrine in the Dining Room … although we’re a bit concerned about the implications of the Old Bay seasoning, and Sam seems to have fallen under their influence (note how his glowing eyes match the lesser Cthulhu eyes!)

The kids love them - and are reassured by the fact that they are to be eaten last (they have dropped a few pointed hints that we may be moved up the list if we don’t shape up).

Sam and Erin are considering selling indulgences for college tuition (Franchise opportunities are still available, but act fast). Maybe we can set up a banner ad on the site if things take off (and we don’t get eaten first).

As much as we loathe small children, Eliza and I are currently looking into adopting Sam and Erin as our own. True, they already have parents, but if that insinuating box of seasoning is anything to go by, they could invite us over and we could settle the issue of their parentage over a fine meal of Jim and Karen calamari.

Remember, you too can win a Cthulhu! You’ve got one more day to enter our Cthulhu/Ectomeme Contest. Chances are you can’t be as cool as Sam and Erin, but you can impotently try.

Just a reminder that you’ve got until Cthursday to enter our latest Cthulhu Contest Giveaway. This week’s theme is the best Lovecraft/Ectomeme mash-up. We’ve got six strong entries so far, so the odds are still good. Enter here!

Also, previous Cthursday Contest winners? Our slavishly unpaid intern (my Mom) reports that all Cthulhus are in the mail as of Friday and should take 3-5 days for delivery. God help you if you don’t send us a picture of you and your new Cthulhus.

Update: We’ve gotten one entry for this so far. Come on guys! We’re giving away a Cthulhu! You’ve got another week to enter.

Come up with the best Lovecraft-Ectomeme mash-up. Trepanation by tentacle, vagina coleoidea, Commie Cthulhu, Steampunk Nyarlathotep, etc. It only needs to be an amalgamation of something Lovecraftian with Ectomo’s perverse obsessions and can take any form: you can do a song, a photograph, an illustration, a movie, a story or just write a description.

The winner, of course, gets their very own Cthulhu plushie, plus the honor of being devoured first when Cthulhu slithers from the sea, rubbing the snot from his thousand eyes.

We’ll be announcing the winner next Cthursday. If your entry is something that you can leave in the comments here, do so, otherwise, email it to me.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

After two weeks and 22 entries, we’ve finally picked our winners for our Cthulhu Cthursday “Goes Like This” Contest.

Picking two winners was not easy: as far as we’re concerned, every single one of you deserves the honor of being devoured first when Great Lord Cthulhu comes slithering to shore, and a consolation prize of a Cthulhu plushie until that glorious day.

As we sat down to judge the contest, Eliza and I realized the daunting task ahead of us. What was our criterion to be? Many of you — Chesh, Stammell, Jones, etc.) had tried to game the vote with props like eye patches, goggles, fezzes and moutstaches. Others of you — like Jilder, Giannia and Nicole — were attractive women who might possibly be bribed into having sex with me if you won the contest. And others were small children, batting their big moon cow eyes, trying to garner the sympathy vote… as if we had any sympathy whatsoever for our filthy larval forms.

Ultimately, Eliza and I decided to each pick our own personal favorite. The two grand prize winners, after the jump:

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Needless to say, tomorrow’s Cthursday, so hit us up with links, either in this comments thread, in ectotweet or via email. But also, this is your last shot to enter our Cthulhu Cthursday “Goes Like This” contest and get a chance to win one of two Cthulhus.

We’re going to be closing submissions in a few hours, then Eliza and I will confer on the winners. So if you want one last shot, pose in front of your web cam with your hand splayed tentacle-like in front of your mouth, then email us the picture or drop a link into the comments of the official thread.

The entries we’ve received so far are embedded above and linked below. If yours isn’t there, we probably just missed it, so try emailing me directly.

Cthulhu Cthursday “Goes Like This” Contest Entries [Flickr]