Having been raised amongst a tribe of mad Arabs, it was deemed normal that I be introduced to the invigorating effects of Turkish coffee at an age which would likely constitute child abuse in any other culture. Just why my family decided that allowing packs of predatory children to dose themselves on massive amounts of caffeine was a good idea I will never know, but it was a jetpack fueled blast at the time and now I have an indelible taste for the stuff.
Sadly, coffee of all kinds now makes me ill; so when I do indulge — bracing myself for the unpleasantness to follow — I like to do so with as much eclat and pomp as possible. Eclat and pomp I appear to have found in the modernized version of Turkish coffee claptrap. A surprisingly beguiling design, it really is a necessity for those of us that must occasionally soldier through the slings and arrows of inevitable coffee catalysis.
Our deepest apologies, dear readers, for having fallen down on the job as of late in regards to one of our most sacred traditions. Needless to say, we are filled with a great sense of shame and assure you it will not happen again. If, in the future, one of us is unable to fulfill their obligations our newly acquired team of Korean animators will leap into action, producing original cartoons for your enjoyment, although in all honesty I personally cannot guarantee this. You see, by “team of Korean animators” I actually mean a Korean family that Eliza met — and subsequently forced into her windowless van — while running errands at Home Depot. They have tried to reason with her, explaining that they are involved in other professions, the father is a salesman for a lighting manufacturer and his wife works as a bank teller. The children are, well, children.
Eliza would hear none of it however, either assuming that they were lying or under the impression that all people of Korean descent have an innate ability to animate. The rest of the staff has done their best to ignore the situation, knowing full well that once Miss Gauger has set her mind on something, one has little chance of ever changing her opinion. It is for this reason that we do nothing when she insists that her aforementioned van has the ability to travel through time or that Qais is, in her words, “a spy sent by space Turks to steal her chocolate secrets.” Regardless it has been uncomfortable, the tired and nervous familial unit has taken up residence in our break room where they were horrified to find only four items : coffee, tea, pipe tobacco, and squid chips. It would be worse when they found out that these items were our sole sources of sustenance. The children, unsurprisingly, did not take well to the tobacco. Perhaps we should send out for food.
Ah well, I’m sure they’ll be fine, besides it’s cartoon time! Click through, loyal Ectomites, and witness their triumphant return!
P.S. Also, remember that if you visit the YouTube page for a particular video you have the option to watch it in high quality. Especially well suited to the anime.
If you happen to be the type of person who wishes to feel the bristly caress of a moustachioed kiss without the other, bothersome man parts that usually accompany it, then Canada — Toronto, Ontario specifically it seems — may be paradise for you. The frigid climes provide a perfect breeding ground, producing a cornucopia of Molson™-fortified, Canadian nymphs displaying an array of tasteful and feminine moustaches. Truly, one of Nature’s great wonders.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
