To those of you with the aforementioned irrational fear of clowns I apologize; know that you were considered, even if only briefly, before the posting of this unsettlingly realistic take on the greasepaint clad stars of your strange nightmares. But to abstain from shining a spotlight on the wonderfully deranged vision of Chris Mars simply wouldn’t do. Rest assured that the focus of his work is not the denizens of a sad circus in disarray, and that your subsequent clicking of links will result not in horror but macabre wonderment.

Chris Mars [Artist’s Site : Monster Brains : ectochat] Thanks, Wytukaze!

This grotesque creature inspired a thousand coulrophobic children to imagine a clammy, corpse-white hand grasping them around their ankles and pulling them down into the cold black deep every time they went to the beach: it’s Glurpo, the Underwater Clown! Even his name is the onomatopoeia of a drowning man’s scream.

Glurpo was apparently quite the tourist attraction at the San Marcos Texas “Aquarena,” where — during a sub-aqueous show mostly devoted to bathing suit beauties combing their luscious, liquid hair — he would swim out of an underwater cave and horrify small children by mutely laughing and sucking his insane rictus up against the glass like a parasitic eel.

Glurpo and Glurpo 2 [Swapatorium] : Quiddity

If you suffer from paruresis or coulrophobia this clip may be your worst nightmare. Nothing is more likely to paralyze one’s bladder than the leering, demonic, clown visage shown here except for, perhaps, being filmed while trying to urinate on what is essentially a kiddie ride.

Peeing in clown’s mouth urinal in Japan [Liveleak] : Gizmodo

A study was recently released that compiled survey data from English children. The purpose of the study was to determine the most comforting, entertaining, and healthful decor for children’s hospitals, which in my experience has ranged from vomitous pastels to vaguely confusing jungle scenes.

A University of Sheffield study of more than 250 children, aged four to 16, found the images were widely disliked.
[…]
Researcher Dr Penny Curtis said: “As adults we make assumptions about what works for children.

“We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.”

This study surprised me in the same way that studies showing a correlation between soft drink consumption and obesity confuse me: jesus freaking shit, NO DUH. Clowns are only enjoyed by adults, who are either perverse, facetious, or political enough to use their fearsome greasepainted rictuses (rictii?) for some purpose, such as sexual gratification or internet humor. I can safely say I have never loved a clown. Much less wept for one. Especially not a simpleminded, gape-faced horror of a clown.

Until now.

Something Awful goon Gaspy Conana, pixel artist, posted the preceding few panels in a thread titled “They are kicking Dropsy out of the circus. Please help him.” Using inspiration from the thread’s reader suggestions, oldschool LucasArts adventure games, and the gently probing finger of God Himself, he brought the story through dozens of episodes, several animations and songs, and thirtysomething pages of comments, cementing Dropsy firmly in the goon consciousness as friend and hero, and solidifying his own internet stardom. It was awe-inspiring to see hardbitten goons begging, literally begging, Conana to never draw Dropsy crying again. And the story wrapped up today.

This is a new kind of participatory media, my friends. Something lovely and funny and entertaining, something that combines nostalgia, art, and originality. I could not love Dropsy more.

They are kicking Dropsy out of the circus. Please help him. [Something Awful Forums]

When they aren’t walking in slow motion to a techno soundtrack, looking bored at shows, or crafting spells to finally show that jerk Brad who’s boss these precocious gothlets fight prejudice and inequality wherever it can be found. Sadly, not everyone understands the hardships of being spooky and fighting for the right to be taken seriously while looking like a complete jackass.

The goth wonder twins were ejected from a bus (the enormous leathery bat wings with which they usually travel being in the shop) due to the lead the the more feminine of this fearsome duo (the one with less clothes on in case you’re wondering) is led around the streets of West Yorkshire. Citing a strict “No dogs allowed” (do you see what he did there?!) policy, the bus driver refused to take on any more passengers or move the bus any further until the gothlets took a powder from the virtuous and wholesome people’s public transportation.

I’m strangely torn, on one hand I support the bus driver’s decision simply because of the atrocious taste these youngsters display with zeal. More people should catch a little humiliation for nancing around in an unoriginal costume they put no thought into whatsoever. On the other hand, at no point did the bus driver inquire whether Gothy McCliche was using his young paramour as a service animal; a seeing eye goth as it were. Think about it, if you saw these two out and about would it really be that much of a stretch to assume blindness as the source of their fashion woes?

This Is London [Thanks, Giania!]

As you can plainly see, everyone here at Ectomo HQ had a blast on New Year’s Eve.

Kenfoo [StartDrawing] : Artist’s Site (NWS)

I’m not sure what the point is but I just wanted you all to know that there exists a photograph of a lilliputian clown and his tiny steed.

This is, in ways, the saddest picture I have ever seen [vintagephoto]