In 2238 the first fully human-passable android was developed by the AI Underground in what historians would come to call “Genesis 2.0″. The poor confused half-breed slipped into this world from the comfort of a cozy lab-grown womb with the full weight of the world on his shoulders and a legacy of terrible, unavoidable, blood-soaked horrors he had yet to fulfill.

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French artist Zamak produces work that immediately brings to mind all manner of media in which his work would be appropriate; from anime, video games, or even a vinyl toy, each exquisitely bulbous piece only serves to fuel my lust to see the work realized in a tactile form. The gorgeous forms of Zamak’s characters simply beg to be touched, to bound on their oddly jointed limbs, and to lumber and glide through the strange world I long to share with them. Hit the jump for a few more of Zamak’s pieces.

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I think I speak for everyone at Ectomo when I say that we’re all convinced that this is how we’ll find Eliza one day: kicking her tiny atrophied chicken legs as the putrescent curtains of her gelatinous flab slop over the sides of the filthy toilet to which her suppurating backside — so much like the hemorrhoidal posterior of an elephant seal, raised upon a diet of mayonnaise! — has biomechanically merged.

Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend’s toilet after sitting on it for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

More seriously, this is an interesting example of the dangers of a finger-pointing society that always wants to incriminate someone. The authorities are trying to figure out what files to charge against her boyfriend, who brought her food and water on a daily basis. He certainly sounds like an idiot, and we can certainly question the parameters of any relationship where one party not getting off the toilet for two years qualifies as romance, but if we locked up the life partner of every obese woman who had decided to enthrone herself upon a toilet 24 hours a day in order to maximize convenience and minimize caloric expenditure, we’d have to imprison the paramour of every female World of Warcraft player ever.

Sheriff: Woman Sat on Toilet for 2 Years [Google] : Thanks, Joel