I’m cheating here. I know this. There was already a Noise du Jour, placed surreptitiously by the ever elusive Miss Gauger, in the early pre-dawn hours, as is her wont. The melodious strains of The Baseballs’s anachronistic efforts could, however, do with a counterbalance. Don’t you think? I am here to provide that very service.
Arrington de Dioyso is a musician who specializes in both Tuvan throat singing and bass clarinet. This may seem like an odd combination. It is, indeed, an odd combination. Should that not be strange enough, his newest album, Malaikat dan Singa, is a collection of poems by William Blake, the famed poet and painter of bizarre shit and/or lizard men. Also, all the words have been translated into Indonesian. So yeah, William Blake as sung by a Tuvan throat singer in Indonesian set to distorted bass clarinet and rhythmic drumming.
Oh yes, there’s also the accompanying video. Not much to say about that. It’s best if you just find out for yourself.
From the same people who brought you Fulton’s autobiography, I present the story of a woman and the moustachioed man who wishes to take her away on his amazing horse.
I’m mostly linking this so I don’t have to be the only one with this on a constant loop in my brain.
On June 6, 1881, in Willet’s Point, NY it came to the attention of General Henry L. Abbot — head of the Engineer School of Application — that a “worthless mule” was to be destroyed and it struck him that this would be an excellent opportunity to demonstrate to a military class the sensitivity of photo-geletine plates. To this end the unfortunate beast was positioned in front of the camera with a a bag containing 6 ounces of dynamite strapped to its forehead. Both the fuse and the camera shutter were connected to the same circuit and, at the press of a button, the mule’s head was separated from its body in a spectacular and gruesome fashion. The resulting photo was published in the September 24th edition of Scientific American that same year, complete with expository “Before” and “After” engravings. Recently, what may have been the original copy of this photograph was found and sold at auction for $2750.00
Biology blog Tetrapodzoology reports on the adorable and repulsive tag team of Frog und Arachnid, livening up elephant dungheaps all over the world:
You might be surprised to learn that microhylids in Peru, India, Sri Lanka and perhaps elsewhere have developed close relationships with large spiders. One of the first published discussions of this phenomenon was produced by Crocraft & Hambler (1989). Noting a close association between individuals of the Dotted humming frog Chiasmocleis ventrimaculata and the burrowing theraphosid tarantula Xenesthis immanis in southeastern Peru (but read on), they suggested that the spider - well capable of killing and eating a frog of this size - used chemical cues to recognise the frogs. Young spiders have sometimes been observed to grab the frogs, examine them with their mouthparts, and then release them unharmed. Microhylids are probably unpalatable due to their skin toxins, and this might explain how this association arose in the first place [the image above shows a tarantula walking over a Dotted humming frog.
Apparently Yucky Frog and Savage Spider inhabit the same hidey holes, stand around the same patches of tree bark, and only tangle when the tarantula mistakes the frog for something delicious and reels it in for a good palping. Frog’s skin chemicals save it further trauma, and they go about their business.
But the partnership goes further than that. While the presence of a massive tarantula noticeably lowers the presence of large frog-eating predators such as snakes, the frog eats ants that would carry off the tarantula’s eggs. In the photo below, a clot of tarantulas are devouring a different sort of frog, while a wee microhylid frog stands by, pretending not to notice.
Stories like these force me to consider the perspective of the creatures involved. One cannot help imagining what it’s like to feel comfortable, curled up in a hole with a prickly monster six times your size. Never knowing when she’s going to grab you, stuff you in her mouth, and taste.
You can only hope that you stink in the proper way.
There seems to be some dispute amongst the animals of the woods as to whether or not Mr. Ando is a penguin as he claims or is, in actuality, a human. There is no disputing that all of the aforementioned animals have the same, human face or that a fish sings a song about loving Mr. Ando and wishing to sleep with him even though he is a fish and smells very fishy. All this from the mind of Takashi Taniguchi.
This was going to be included in a Saturday Morning Cartoons post but really, it deserves to be seen alone, in “high quality”, not shoved inside some standard quality SMC playlist. And while it it has alreadyspreadacrossthe tubes, it deserves to be enshrined here.
Cat Shit One — Apocalypse Meow in the U.S. — was a Japanese manga that came out in 1998. It followed the day to day routine of an American recon unit in Vietnam called, yes, Cat Shit One. The various nationalities involved are represented by different animals: Americans are rabbits, the French are pigs, the Australians koalas and so on. Interestingly, the final chapter of volume 1 is titled “Dog Shit One” and features humans.
The proposed series takes place, not in Vietnam, but in Iraq and features turbaned, terrorist camels and “middle eastern music”, which consists of women wailing in a musical way. This makes the moment when the terrorist camels gun down a kidnapped rabbit especially poignant.
Whether or not this is meant to be serious at all is unknown but I have a hard time imagining it as such. It has as much to do with the animals as anything else I suppose; the gravity of the situation undercut as it is by images of a bunny firing an RPG into a truck as camel-terrorist fly through the air with A-Team-like aplomb; and close quarters combat looses some of its oomph when Mr. Flopsy is the one wielding the M4A1. Still, we can perhaps look forward to scenes of hooded camels hooked up to electrodes. That will be fun, won’t it?
Some amazing footage of Macropinna microstoma, known as barreleyes or spookfish. They get their name from their large, distinct tubular eyes, which can be rotated inside the transparent dome of the skull enabling them to view prey above them. This is especially handy for avoiding the stinging cells of jelly-fish, their main source of food. It also helps provide industrial strength nightmare fuel.
Gloria Swanson wearing what may or may not be a monkey fur coat. “Wearing” may not be a completely apt description, as both her expression and posture give her the air of a coat rack, upon which a number of simian pelts have been draped. It is strikingly reminiscent of our own Miss Gauger who makes annual trips to various, monkey-laden locales where she lures the poor beast with indigenous delicacies. When the timid anthropoids are within range, she quickly dispatches them either with a single shot from her pearl handled Derringer or a swift and brutal blow with “Esmeralda” her trusty and ever present truncheon.
I once asked her why there was a need for such trips, especially when one considers that before each murderous campaign she ritually burns the Ulster fashioned from the previous year’s harvest, regardless of its condition. “The only good monkey coat is a fresh monkey coat,” she replied and began to absentmindedly caress Esmeralda. I realized then that it would be best if our conversation concluded and quickly made my exit, leaving the barely audible sound of Eliza’s whispering behind me.
I’ve got to hand it to the SPCA, I never imagined they possessed the testicular fortitude to pull off such a bold entrepreneurial maneuver. The idea makes sense of course; the SPCA euthanizes thousands of unadoptable animals every year. Can you really blame them for thinking outside the box to such an extravagant degree given the current state of the economy? I mean really, why not monetize that kind of resource? If anything, this is the ultimate in turning dead lemons into hilariously offensive lemonade.
Now, before you whip yourself into a self-righteous froth, know that I abhor the usage of animal skins in fashion. I’ve always been a staunch believer in the idea that dead animals should be worn whole or not at all. That being said, Rosenberg and I have already pre-ordered our Greyhound hoodies.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
