This is one of those clips that any comment from yours truly would ruin. Let it be said that patience is a virtue and by the time the video concludes, you’ll know why this has appeared in our pages.
Three posters for the Sci-Fi Channel, spoofing popular horror and science fiction tropes. This is, I think, my favorite in the sense that it almost a completely perfect reversal of the 50s, alien invasion image. The Creature From the Black Lagoon is a close second.
Man that pisses me off. Just the thought of it chaps my ass. Who the fuck do they think they are? I mean, really? Fucking really? They think they’re so fucking cool with their goddamn cool names and pretentious fucking initials. Fuck them; fucking cocksuckers. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, they piss me off so much. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHAT DO THEY HAVE THAT I DON’T! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK YOU AND YOU AND ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
Seriously, I’m out. I’m going the fuck home. You can all blow me.
Diesel, the clothing company for people who will not wear jeans costing less than $100, has been releasing a number of disturbing videos advertising…clothing? To be honest, I’m not sure. What I can tell you is that their newest short piece, Pete the Meat Puppet is topping this weeks list of weird.
The story follows the life of Pete, created by an overweight, barren butcher out of various meats, who is brought to life through the magical properties of her breast milk. So shocked is she that she promptly dies, sending Pete into the world to find his own way. You’ll follow him as he achieves fame and fortune as a fast food spokesman, eventually entering into a booze, coke, and whore fueled downward spiral that includes bestiality, cannibalism, prostitution, and maggots. Yep, feel-good story of the year right here folks.
The award winning commercial for Luden’s cough drops featuring sound work by the one and only Frank Zappa. The voice over at the end makes it many times stranger than it would be on its own.
And by that I of course mean one Thanksgiving special followed by a group of random, animated detritus. Yes, this week is Thanksgiving — real, American Thanksgiving, not that cheap, Canadian imitation — the day on which we can all stuff ourselves with food until we collapse into a carbohydrate induced coma and after which we begin the long, arduous task of celebrating Christmas for a month.
Also, this is my six hundred and sixty sixth post. Coincidence? Who cares!?
• A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: I’m of two minds when it comes to Charles Schultz’s creation in both print and on screen. Part of me loathes its saccharine sweet sentimentality and its trite, overtly Christian preaching and another part admires the man’s artistic and creative ability and the cartoons remain firmly fixed in my animated childhood memory. It is perhaps a testament to Peanuts that my usually dominant, cynical side uncharacteristically loses this particular battle.
• Home Movies: “Curses”: I’ve touted my love for Home Movies before so all I will say is if you don’t like it you are insane or brain dead. In this episode our diminutive filmmakers explore the use of foul language and its humorous effects. Make sure to watch out for the hidden surprise right before the credits.
• The Ren & Stimpy Show: The second episode — counting the pilot — featuring the adventures of everyone’s favorite dog and cat. Also featuring Log! I’m sure this will be pulled by the end o the day so get it while it’s hot.
• Dexter’s Laboratory: “Opposites Attract”: Another show that rarely shows up on YouTube and will most surely be pulled. Not the best episode featuring Genndy Tartakovsky’s diminutive mad scientist, but you take what you can get.
•Korgoth of Barbaria: Dear [adult swim], I’m writing to inquire as to what, exactly, is wrong with you. No really, I would like to know why you continue giving asshats like Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim money to churn out hours of retarded pap while shelving truly brilliant ideas like Korgoth of Barbaria. If you find men dressing in drag to be that funny, might I suggest you export your Tim & Eric stuff to England, it is my understanding that they too like that sort of thing. Afterwards, you can pull your heads out of your asses and start to produce more shows that are, you know, good. Regards, Ross Rosenberg
Admittedly, I’ve come across many things on this vast internet — either on my own or through our tip line — since I started writing for Ectomo, but few things have presented any sort of internal conflict on whether or not to post. No, the line is usually clear as to whether something belongs on the front page and, in the rare instances that I have been unsure, my esteemed editors have been swift and most often times brutal in their duty, striking down the most heinous of content while simultaneously letting me know just how disgusting they find whatever piece of my buried subconscious I had decided to expose to the open air.
This particular video did, indeed, give me pause. Should this go up? I didn’t know. By its creators own admission it is nothing official; it does not represent some newly discovered mise en scène employed by Microsoft to market their Zune device, and yet there is effort here. It is not merely a collection of images with no inherent meaning, but instead spotlights one of the Zune’s social features that is, the ability to share or “squirt” music between Zunes. In that regard, this faux ad succeeds brilliantly, deftly highlighting that very ability with a splattering of colors. On the other hand, it does this with a rotund, hirsute gentleman who also happens to be nude. I will leave it to you to find out for yourself how the whole visual metaphor works out.
And with that I hit “Publish”. Believe me when I say that I am so, so sorry to have done this to you but, as we all know, misery loves company.
Also, NSFW.
Zune Paint by Sibling Rivalry [Vimeo] : Blame Frank!
There are, I suppose, two ways to take this ad for Goodyear’s “Double Eagle” tires. The first is that a woman, incapable of understanding the subtleties of using a jack to raise a portion of her car off the ground and then having to deal with the mysterious complexity of threaded nuts and bolts, will walk for what seems like miles, running the risk of being dragged off into the bushes to be raped and murdered by a man or group of men, only so that she can get to a phone — because those broads love to just yak yak yak, am I right fellas?
The other way to take it is that men can easily be replaced by dual walled, rubber tires.
Scot points out that your cheap, uncomfortable paper towels may be turning your employees against you. Indeed, this gentleman has already acquired both the demeanor and moustache of the Communist. In other news, were you aware that you can catch Fascism from public restroom toilet seats? Believe it.
It’s catch-as-catch-can this Saturday on Ectomo. Strolling through the fields of internet, harvesting what we could, no particular theme presented itself, no one flavor stood out. So today it’s a stew of animation goodness, a hodgepodge of styles and tastes; because sometimes you have to make the best of what’s lying around.
Dr. Tran “Dickable Afternoons”: “Remember those good times at home, in the 1800s, back when you and the neighborhood rowdies would romp around, kicking an old piece of rope? And then Mom would call you inside, where you’d all gather at the dining-room table, while she served up a steaming hot plate of Dr. Tran’s Old Fashioned Peppermint Dickables.”
Ark: In the future a mysterious pandemic has decimated the population of the world. Survivors have retreated to huge ships and set out for uninhabited lands. The exodus has begun, under the leadership of one man.
Log Driver’s Waltz: I was reprimanded for not including this in my Canadian themed SMCs of a few weeks ago, so I include it here now. Chicks dig log drivers.
Strange Invaders: Some couples want to have a baby so badly, they don’t care how they come by it, even if it falls, glowing, from the sky. Watching this, an episode of Invader Zim featuring space aliens who resembled human babies came to mind. Could this have been the inspiration for Vasquez and Co.?
The Tick “The Tick vs. The Tick”: It was mentioned in the ectochat earlier this week that the SMCs needed more Tick, and I agree. In this episode, The Tick and Arthur go to a superhero nightclub. However, it seems that there is already another gentleman who goes by The Tick, and he’s not ready to give up the name. Also, “I’m the Evil Midnight Bomber, What Bombs At Midnight!”
My sincerest apologies, ye denizens of the wonderful, monstrous Ecto-Nation, for the deplorable lack of content over the last few days. Your outrage at the passing of a Monday unmoustachioed is, of course, understandable. Had I been able to drag myself to my computer I would have most assuredly fulfilled my duties however, due to the fact that I am a young man in possession of the body of a centenarian, I could not. No, dear readers, the past three days have been spent on my back, the muscles of my lumbar gripping the delicate nerves of my spine in a vise-like death grip. Only through sheer willpower — and 10 milligrams of Cyclobenzaprine — have a been able to lurch over to the keyboard. I pray this will serve as explanation should my normal, typo-laden musings be more…laden…than usual.
That out of the way, on to the clip. The above is an ad for Nike Women featuring Nicola Sanders, who I assume is a runner of some repute and whose organs and muscles all have mouths which they use to spit gibberish at each other. Also, her brain wears a monocle, an image which is so fitting that I dare say I will be unable to look at a brain ever again without superimposing the eyepiece upon it. The whole concept is extremely simple and the animation takes it just far enough into weird territory to work without coming off as horrifying. That’s how it strikes me at least, your unmedicated mileage may vary. Creativity has the hi-res version.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.