Sunday Sketchdump: Octopus Tub (the Musical)

23/10/09 by Station

Last week I ran a $45 painting commission special on SWEATSHOP. My first request was from a chef and restaurant owner, who sent me the following story and asked me to illustrate it.

Meanwhile, Station00023 was idling in the SWEATSHOP chatroom, as he usually does. At the end of the night, he sent me the music at the head of this post, having composed it while he watched the painting going up.

Between the three of us, we nearly had an opera. Please enjoy.

I purchase my fish from various fish mongers, (local fisher gentlemen) they come to my back door with their fresh catch looking to sell. Depending on a number of things, I usually buy. Usually they all have the same types of fish and/or crustaceans.

About 4 years ago on a Friday afternoon I opened my door to a 20 gallon cooler of squirming alive medium sized Octopus. It was glorious! As I was bargaining with the fisherman, he labored to keep them in the cooler, dozens of tentacles slithering over the edge trying to go free, dark sack-like bodies with little eyes peering over the edge, as he unstuck something, others popped up.

When I saw the cooler, I had no idea what I was going to do with them, all I knew was that this is the SPECIAL for the weekend. I had to have them, they’re so fresh and alive! I would make something great in their honor.

As usual I was busy getting ready for dinner, which meant the Octopus had to wait. (I had other things to do before I dealt with them, except they had to be cleaned and eviscerated quickly to avoid spoilage.)

Transferring them quickly to a large plastic food bin with ice (no lid), I then placed the writhing bin on the floor up against a ceramic tiled wall which extends 12 feet to the ceiling in my prep kitchen. After icing down the little guys, they calmed down and barely moved. Planning to prepare them a little later, I returned to my work on the hotline (stove, grill area. The small prep kitchen is in the back and cannot be seen from the hotline). An hour later, I’m open for service, leaving the hotline to my cooks.

Returning to the prep kitchen I find my wife (She’s the pastry chef), with her back to me, a bowl of tempered chocolate in one hand and a kitchen towel in the other, staring at the tile wall with this blank/surreal look on her face, cocking her head slightly to the side. I didn’t notice what she was staring at until a dark bulbous tentacle mass came into view inching up the wall! Blargh!! HOlyshitwtf!! Octopus moving sideways on the wall, vertically up the wall, horizontally on the floor, leaving thin clear ooze in their wake. Some wedged themselves in corners, under tables, a few others suspended vertically 10 feet up the wall making their great escape! After gathering them up, I’ll never know if I got them all. I paid for them by weight and didn’t do a head count. The following weeks there were no strange smells in the kitchen so I assume I got them all, but I like to think at least one got away.