Plumbed from the depths of Something Awful comes one goon’s justification for rape; a heady mixture of pseudo-philosophical posturing with healthy doses of nerd-rage and unfulfilled sado-fetishistic fantasies. Surely, however, this would be nothing but another shut-in’s rant on the internet without the aid of the two Playmobil-inspired individuals. It is most certainly their vacant eyes, the inexplicable nudity of the male character, the silent, smiling demeanor of his lady friend that make Stephen Hawking’s monotonous exposition that much more unsettling. Don’t even ask why they’re on a tennis court. Just. Don’t.
Princeton University has announced the winners of the 2009 Art of Science competition. First place this year was awarded to Celeste M. Nelson for this gorgeous, bright field micrograph of squid embryos.
Stylish craniums by the artist simply known as Jim, using what appears to be twine, their visages adorned with long, hanging tendrils. A worthy addition to any worshiper’s domicile.
An U.S. Army military working dog, Andy, searches among rubble and trash outside a target building, during a joint operation with the Iraqi army and U.S. Soldiers of 5th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, in Rusafa, eastern Baghdad, Iraq, on Feb. 28. The Soldiers are searching for weapons caches and targeted insurgents.
Next time someone tells you the Beatles are overrated, show them this photo and invite them to shut their whore mouth. “Ahead of their time” doesn’t begin to cover it.
While I have smoked a cigar or two in my time on this azure globe, it was never a habit that I took to. Having been a long time cigarette devotee the idea of inhaling fumes from tobacco that did not give one a heady rush seemed absurd. After all, I was smoking because cigarettes made you look cool — also, addiction — which I found seemingly impossible with a giant tube of rolled tobacco leaves in my hand. They always made me feel like my clothes should be wrinklier and I should use the phrase “youse guys” with aplomb.
That said, no cigar I ever smoked bore a band with a moustache and monocle emblazoned upon it, like these designed by Taylor Pemberton. Perhaps these would help to alleviate my self-consciousness and allow me to freely enjoy the finely flavored fumes that such a pastime offers without feeling like someone cos-playing as J. Jonah Jameson.
The poster for the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art’s MoCCA Festival 2009 brought a smile to my face this morning, festooned as it is with sea creatures and dapper hats. Running from June 6-9 at the famous 69th Regiment Armory in New York — scant blocks from my alma mater — the festival features an impressive list of comic book heavy hitters including Seth, Gary Panter, Al Jaffee, Molly Crabapple, David Mazzuchelli, and Adrian Tomine. Passes are $10.00 a day or $15.00 for the entire weekend. Definitely worth a look.
Chad VanGaalen animates the video for his song, “Molten Light”, a tale of murder and revenge from beyond the grave, set in a strange and hallucinatory world. It’s a beautiful and disturbing video for an equally beautiful and disturbing song.
Woe is the giant monster movie. In recent years it has fallen by the wayside, its corpse bludgeoned by the likes of Matthew Broderick and shaky-cam footage. For the giant monster movie enthusiast, the film landscape is a wasteland, populated by the picked over bones of long forgotten titans. Luckily there are those that remember fondly the heady days of Godzilla and Gamera.
The Asylum are a group of such like-minded people and do they have the perfect film for you, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Even the title lets you know that they are not fucking around. There will be no philosophical exposition here about, say, man’s impact on the environment. No, this movie is about a shark that can eat the Golden Gate bridge and an octopus that can crush a submarine with one arm going head to head to see just who is the most bad-ass imaginary monster in the world. Period. End of story.
What, you need more? How about Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson? Yeah, you read that correctly. Go ahead, picture it in your mind: A silhouette of a man on steel wheels rises over the hill, a blood red sky to his back. Suddenly, a voice!
He was an octopus cop, and good at his job. But he committed the ultimate sin, and testified against other octopus cops gone bad. Octopus cops that tried to kill him, but got the shark he loved instead. Framed for murder, now he prowls the badlands. An outlaw hunting outlaws, a bounty hunter, a Renegade.
Then, BAM, right into “Foolish Beat”. Then a giant shark jumps out of the water and eats a goddamn jumbo jet.
It’s been 18 months since Flickr user dogseat uploaded an image of his epic facial hair, which we previously featured on these very pages, though with some slight misgivings. During that time he has continued to cultivate his impressive locks and both they, and he, appear a little older, a little wiser, and perhaps a little more world weary then when last we met. Still, it remains a triumph of follicular fortitude and we wish dogseat well. A quick word of warning, however, before we go. Dogseat, you are at a dangerous point in the facial hair cycle. Any more growth and you may risk having your glorious ’stache developing sentience. I need not tell you how this can ruin lives, just look at Alan Moore. Poor man is swiftly becoming a desiccated husk while his parasitic beard remains full and healthy. Just something to think about.
This is one of those clips that any comment from yours truly would ruin. Let it be said that patience is a virtue and by the time the video concludes, you’ll know why this has appeared in our pages.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
