Frigid Jr. and Embalming the Babies
Posted by Eliza Gauger
The very idea that a baby body requires different fluids than a full-grown corpse somehow arouses my fancy. The concepts of death and infancy are heavy on my mind these days, as my generation comes into power, as my father shakes his massive head and warns that gas and food prices will never go down again, that this is what he was warning us about since the fifties.
I think he prays that this isn’t the End of History. At some point, he says (or I remember him saying, admittedly different things), innovation and notable incidents will cease to occur or we will become inured to them, and history will stop. There will no longer be anything worth recording. Humanity will subside into limbo.
Categories: Dystopias, Abortions, Aging, Cry For Help, Overreactions, Biomechanical Mergings, Eliza's Muffed Sense of Equilibrium, Doom, Fetuses, Mummification
Posted at 12:41 pm on October 29, 2008
14 Comments -
The baby on the bottle is smiling because he known he is going to rot in his box evenly and with as little smell as possible.
Comment by El Tiburo — October 29, 2008 @ 12:45 pm
Thus fulfilling his Victorian imperative.
Comment by Eliza Gauger — October 29, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
The only choice for the dapper dead baby.
Comment by P — October 29, 2008 @ 2:30 pm
I have been drinking this for twelve years and I never read the bottle.
The things you learn.
Comment by ITHIDET — October 29, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
Everyone knows that babies are best served after liquefaction; furthermore, why did you even bother to post this? ::yawn::
Comment by zanbowser — October 29, 2008 @ 5:28 pm
someone must inform the Fishers.
Comment by groonk — October 29, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
If I have anything to say about it, this will not be the end of history. And what I have to say is, we need more brands of baby embalming fluid on the market. Thank you for sharing, i’ll see to the concoction of such a cocktail mix/interment preparation presently.
Comment by David S D — October 29, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
I dunno, as long as we maintain a sense of wonder about the world, I don’t think history or innovation will ever cease. To that end, a post based on baby preservatives sounds like a good use of my time.
Comment by CJ — October 29, 2008 @ 7:34 pm
MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm!! Baby Preserves!! Served best on toast points!
Comment by BobDog — October 29, 2008 @ 8:54 pm
Your father is morbid and depressing… and possibly the greatest person alive today.
Comment by chiablo — October 30, 2008 @ 12:02 am
Ah! Perfect! Now I can make sure the babies stay fresh until I can cook up a new batch of-
You’d think one would learn something from reading “Herbert West–Reanimator”, but I guess not.
Comment by Kingfisher — October 30, 2008 @ 12:12 am
Definitely one of the best antique potions I’ve seen! May have to cite this on my own blog and send folks over here.
Comment by SheWalksSoftly — October 30, 2008 @ 9:58 am
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/fail-owned-home-made-baby-fail.jpg
Comment by SM — October 30, 2008 @ 8:24 pm
When I was talking about the End Of History, Eliza was gluing sequins on her toenails, listening to Rammstein on her headphones, and preparing her on-stage rant/strip-tease for Norwescon 1998. That’s why she got it all wrong.
The End Of History won’t be the result of any dramatic event. It will be what happens if we don’t find a sustainable way to continue our technological civilization.
The End Of History will come when the human race has used up the last of the oil and the accessible metal and phosphate deposits, when we have fished out the oceans, cut down the forests and wasted the last of the topsoil. There will be a great die-off, and knowledge of history and science will be lost. The last technology will be used up by warlords trying to conquer the last resources. After the last bullet has been shot, and the last steam engine rusts away, the human race will settle into hundreds of thousands of years of poverty and nothingness, a meaningless repetition of hand-labor and petty tyrants on the barren Earth. They won’t know or remember anything about us. The inevitable asteroid impact will be a mercy on them.
We can avoid this nightmare of boredom and dirt by inventing sustainable food and energy systems, by limiting population growth, by promoting a just and liberal world society, by preserving the biosphere, and by expanding into space. During my lifetime, there has been noteworthy progress in this direction. I see cause for hope.
Comment by Mogo The Mugger — October 31, 2008 @ 1:04 am