Life Is Unpredictable
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
One minute you’re digging through someone’s garbage can and the next some hairless ape has killed you, stuffed your corpse, and put you on display holding a serving tray bearing your own genitals.
The Fossils of SoHo [bioephemera]
Categories: Phallus, Taxidermy, Death, Bonings, Animals
Posted at 12:15 pm on October 7, 2008
14 Comments -
Matter of fact, I’m wearing a t-shirt I bought from that store (Evolution) right now. It’s a pretty excellent place to check out.
Comment by Patrick — October 7, 2008 @ 5:35 pm
To add insult to injury, the critter-stuffer made the poor racoon smile. (check out the sad toad purses!)
Comment by BobDog — October 7, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
I’d be REALLY pissed if someone tried to make other people think that my member had an actual bone in it. That’s just bad anatomy, people!
Comment by Angry Sam — October 7, 2008 @ 10:52 pm
I’ve been to that store in search of fossilized Megalodon teeth, but then it started to RAGE. One of the employees tried to sell me a stuffed Rhesus money for $2500. The fact that a Toad has to die so that some hipster kid with a porkpie hat can attach a wallet chaiin to it and stuff it full of his trustfund money makes me feel kind of stabby. If there is a store in NY that deserves a nice robbery, Evolution would be it.
Comment by El Tiburo — October 8, 2008 @ 12:00 am
Hey those guys are nice, they gave a bunch of bug lollipops to me and my friend for free. I do want to rob it though; they’ve got this wicked $6000 bear skull I want real bad.
Comment by tuffer — October 8, 2008 @ 1:31 am
El Tiburon, the toads are the highly pestilent vermin known as the Cane Toad. They were stupidly introduced to Australia to eliminate a sugar cane-eating pest beetle. Unfortunately, the cane toads and the beetles have opposite life cycle schedules, meaning the toads never lay eyes on a beetle, much less lay mouths on them. So instead they eat the local flora and fauna, plaguing Australia like football-sized, toxic locusts. Did I mention they were toxic? The pustules on their backs are filled with venomous mucus that squirts a great distance when squeezed. They have destroyed local species, mutilated the Australian environment, and poisoned children and pets. I can only hope that the profits made from selling stuffed and tanned ones are somewhat beneficial to the removal effort.
Angry Sam, raccoons, coyotes, otters, minks, and a great many other animals DO have penis bones. The technical name is “bacula”, as in “Scott Bakula”. Humans are actually rather unusual in our lack of such bones.
Comment by Eliza Gauger — October 8, 2008 @ 8:27 am
NICE!!! I appreciate the elucidation, Ms. Gauger!
Thank you!!
Comment by BobDog — October 8, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
Australia! Isn’t that where Josef Fritzl is from? They probably deserve their Toad infestation.
Even so, that does not address the monkey issue, or the problem with hipsters and their porkpie hats and trustfunds.
Comment by El Tiburo — October 8, 2008 @ 8:43 pm
I was gonna make the same observation that Eliza did, about how we primates are different from most other mammals in not having penis bones, but she beat me to it, on the other hand, we have money and they don’t, so you better go out and buy one right away. And I want one of those toad purses.
Comment by Mogo The Mugger — October 8, 2008 @ 11:48 pm
So does Scott Bakula have a baculum?
Comment by Angry Sam — October 8, 2008 @ 11:58 pm
I think a place like this would have activists/environmentalists/vegans/kindergarten teacher’s unions and the like bomb the store within a week of opening where I live. Store here in town has had the same stuffed, dusty wolf on display for like 60 years but past decade the poor animal has been tagged with pink color, annual angry letters are sent to newspapers about it and it was even stolen once…
That in a city that houses [url=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2249/2742308234_a1d211a1ed_m.jpg]this[url], siamese twins floating in a jar at a museum since late 1800s. Priorities.
(Hope that link works…)
Comment by D — October 9, 2008 @ 9:18 am
Try this link version instead then:
Comment by D — October 9, 2008 @ 9:20 am
for those of you with this kind of shopping fetish (penis bones, taxidermy, pinned bugs) out here on the left coast, might i recommend Paxton Gate on Valencia in San Francisco, right next to the nearly-as-awesome 826 Pirate Store?
Comment by Haux — October 9, 2008 @ 3:00 pm
A-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring
A penis-bone!
/blame Raffi
Comment by Benevolent B — October 9, 2008 @ 4:53 pm