Internet Endurance Test: He Loves Cheetos
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
YOUR THROBBING MULTIFARIOUS LUSTFUL DESIRES ARE COMPLETED N YOUR HYPER-ORANGE SELF, YOU MAKE ME LOVE AGAIN, YOU’VE CHANGED MY HEART, MY MELANCHOLIA DISAPPEARS WHEN YOU ARE INSIDE OF ME, MY HUMAN RAGE IS TEMPERED WHEN I AM INSIDE YOU, THE SECRET IS COMMUNICATION, LONGEVITY, STAMINA, REPETITION, FURY, SOULFUL KISSING, EARPLUGS. YOU FUCKING CORPORATE COCKS AND CUNTS.
So begins the rant that accompanies this video on YouTube. Let me be perfectly clear: there is nothing redeeming about this video. No, this is a test of fortitude or, perhaps, a measure of your masochistic tendencies. Here for your own edification then is nigh on nine minutes of torturous inanity in the form of a man — clad in a Speedo and purple socks, his face hidden by a bag forged from the brightest Day-Glo so as to protect himself from reprisal — caressing, fondling, and humping a giant phallus comprised of Cheetos.
The masked man — should you be interested in demanding those 8+ minutes of your life back — is one Jeff Ostergan, an artist who in addition to the aforementioned inappropriate snack touching, also claims an impressive portfolio of objects and canvasses he has dripped paint on; and by “impressive” I mean that it is impressive that one would wish to drip paint on so many things or that one could convince others to spend time and money displaying all the things you have dripped paint on.
I LOVE YOU CHEETOS [YouTube] : Thanks, August Moon!
Categories: WTF, Paintings, Phallus, Artists, Food, Sculpture, Sex, Art
Posted at 11:29 am on June 17, 2008
4 Comments -
Wow.
This one really hit the ball out of the park and approaches perfection, though to what end I haven’t the foggiest.
Perhaps the reward is in the pursuit.
Comment by Narkalant — June 17, 2008 @ 11:45 am
the internet destroyed all the good parts of shame.
Comment by atom — June 17, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
Where’s the hole? Wait. Holes?
Comment by Eville — June 18, 2008 @ 4:51 pm
I’m sincerely disappointed that he isn’t completely covered in orange dust by the end of the video.
QUICK! Somebody send it to Frito Lay!
Comment by Evil Jim — June 23, 2008 @ 4:36 am