He Laughs While You Drown: Glurpo The Underwater Clown
Posted by John Brownlee
This grotesque creature inspired a thousand coulrophobic children to imagine a clammy, corpse-white hand grasping them around their ankles and pulling them down into the cold black deep every time they went to the beach: it’s Glurpo, the Underwater Clown! Even his name is the onomatopoeia of a drowning man’s scream.
Glurpo was apparently quite the tourist attraction at the San Marcos Texas “Aquarena,” where — during a sub-aqueous show mostly devoted to bathing suit beauties combing their luscious, liquid hair — he would swim out of an underwater cave and horrify small children by mutely laughing and sucking his insane rictus up against the glass like a parasitic eel.
Categories: Glurpo, Aquaphobia, Freak Shows, Clowns, Retro, Horror, Coulrophobia, Photography
Posted at 7:26 pm on March 14, 2008
15 Comments -
The Google ad for this post informs me that “God is Love.” I think their algorithm’s busted: the correct ad to serve is “WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?”
Comment by John Brownlee — March 14, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
for me: “gulf hurricane relief.” funny - i don’t think clowns, of any variety, are of much consolation to the recently ouragan’d.
consolation, naught; however, relief… maybe i can see that, *just*: incredulous at the wake of destruction, the until-just-recently sheltered family sees this intrepid aquarian and thinks - privately, as clowns have been known to kill - “my life is a shambles, but at least i’m not a *CLOWN*.”
Comment by zanbowser — March 14, 2008 @ 7:46 pm
Ooops, yeah, I only got “God is Love” on the front page once I posted the Glurpo post. I also get the Gulf Relief ads on this page. I swear, I want to do an entire post dissecting the way Google Ads plays with Ectomo. In this case, it’s clearly reacting to the word “drown.” On Eliza’s tATU post though, we get gay fitness ads. Awesome.
Comment by John Brownlee — March 14, 2008 @ 8:10 pm
hmm… the fellow linked in the “Glurpo 2″ post (”HELICOPTERPILOT” blog) - while slightly off-general-mission for Ectomo - is a good read (if you like listening to those kinds of stories, which i most certainly do).
Comment by zanbowser — March 14, 2008 @ 8:13 pm
“Hey kids! We all float down here!”
–Pennywise
Comment by James Shearhart — March 14, 2008 @ 8:33 pm
oh gods
this will haunt my dreams forever
Comment by ITHIDET — March 14, 2008 @ 8:35 pm
I bet he’s able to gleek poisonous chlorine pool water at children’s itchy eyes…
Comment by Camillo Miller — March 14, 2008 @ 9:04 pm
how does one go about getting this job? you have to be both a clown and a skilled SCUBA diver? wtf what a weird skill set. i just picture the resume/interview now.
Comment by Lieutenant of Barad-dûr — March 14, 2008 @ 10:26 pm
Don’t forget about Ralph the swimming pig.
http://www.edwardsaquifer.net/images/card28.jpg
I think they might have embellished on the swimming beauties part.
Comment by clevetheripper — March 14, 2008 @ 11:59 pm
This is what nightmares are made of ….a serial killing scuba clown.
Comment by otep — March 15, 2008 @ 1:55 am
Man, this will replace the clown in my nightmares . . .
. . . Oh, wait.
Comment by Oni — March 15, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
Who has imagined such a nightmare?! I fear to fall asleep now…
Comment by Nicolas — March 15, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
everyone has a myspace these days
even Glurpo:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=206206075
Comment by Andy — March 15, 2008 @ 7:34 pm
[…] He Laughs While You Drown: Glurpo The Underwater Clown […]
Pingback by Best of the Network this week - Hustlin’ Games — March 15, 2008 @ 11:13 pm
Okay, I’m not one of those anticlown freaks…I am more afraid of frat boy fishermen and people in Brooks Brothers, but I just may have to swipe Glurpo for my own purposes…
Comment by eltiburo — March 16, 2008 @ 5:41 pm