Who Needs A Movie?
Posted by Qais Fulton
There’s two ways you can take this advertisement for Fred’s “Video Movie” and animation services. The first is as a hilariously perplexing display of the kind of human tragedy lurking within the seething morass of “normal” people. That interpretation is really more than enough to keep you amused as you watch the rest of Fred’s inexplicably edited and composed videos.
There is however, a second, far more insidious (and I think more accurate) interpretation. You see Fred is no ordinary Canadian man with a video camera, computer, and delusions of film-making grandeur. Fred is a monster, an evil man that has conducted horrific experiments in the unspeakable regions of science that no self-respecting man or woman gives any thought to lest they run shrieking into the night. That lifeless lump of audibly monotone flesh is not his wife, but an automota created in his hideous lab simply to see if he could accomplish the feat.
She was probably once a beautiful woman, rife with vim and vigor, full of the promise and untapped potential our parents and Disney have led us to believe we all have inside. Now the poor thing is nothing more than a shapeless mound atop a wheeled stool (adjustable in height of course, even mad scientists need their rocks off once in a while) shuffled around to be put on display as Fred’s greatest accomplishment. You can almost hear the screams of a shattered psyche echoing in her mind as she mumbles the speeches Fred has programmed her prior to show time.
Isn’t pretending fun?!
Fred and Sharon’s movies [Youtube : Thanks, Grisella!]
Categories: Insanity, Automatons, Advertisements, Mad Scientists, Freaks, Horror, Monsters, Animation
Posted at 6:16 pm on March 13, 2008
13 Comments -
Oh god it’s horrible! HORRIBLE!
*weeps loudly in a dark corner*
Comment by Giania — March 13, 2008 @ 7:28 pm
MASSIVE FAIL!
why is he even still alive? ABOMINATION!
Comment by zanbowser — March 13, 2008 @ 7:58 pm
WOOO! Bring on the monsterous-mutant-octo-spider-alien-face-hugger-beast-thingy and the creepy animated sexdoll!
Comment by Grisella — March 13, 2008 @ 8:12 pm
When I saw this last night well I was in a lot of physical pain. This made it worse.
Bring on the kill-squad!
Comment by Ginja — March 13, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
That is an extra special brand of FAIL right there. Though to be fair, he is Canadian.
Comment by racerabbit — March 13, 2008 @ 8:45 pm
What the christ did I just watch?
Comment by Eliza Gauger — March 14, 2008 @ 1:15 am
The Incredible Hulk movie will hopefully be better than that.
Comment by Sean Grimm — March 14, 2008 @ 1:58 am
The best thing about this is that if you go to the webpage from which they are pimping out their hardcore video skillz, they are *charging for access*.
Comment by Benjamin Rooney — March 14, 2008 @ 4:16 am
Benjamin, finally, micro-payments take the Internet by storm!
Comment by John Brownlee — March 14, 2008 @ 6:31 am
I’ve got the fear. I’ve got the FEAR!!!
Comment by satur9andasi9 — March 14, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
You think they’d make me a porn film?
Comment by cha0tic — March 14, 2008 @ 6:50 pm
God I hope so.
Comment by Qais Fulton — March 14, 2008 @ 7:30 pm
NO DON’T!!
Comment by zanbowser — March 14, 2008 @ 10:33 pm