New Ectobuddy Bogart Shwadchuck (the pronunciation of which I am currently engaged in “debating” with Qais, who is bleeding) is the genius behind modern electro-anthem, Bitch Go Buy Me a Hotdog, linked last week on NdJ’s concept album collection.
The man is multi-faceted, reportedly doing work in goth/electro band Ayria, dropping his own beats as Epsilon Minus, manning multiple releases on Full Code Media, and generating much-needed anti-scieno propaganda for Operation Chanology.
Mr. Shwadchuck is, as they say, right up our alley. He had this to say about the wonderful response of the ectomites to Bitch Go Buy Me a Hot Dog:
Hey, just wanted to say thanks for the Bitch Go Buy Me A Hot Dog shoutout, because it created quite an influx of donations and traffic (actually Full Code’s busiest month ever in terms of bandwidth).
Very much appreciated!
Small-town blog makes good? I think so. Godspeed, Mr. Shwadchuck. Keep dropping those hits, and let us know next time you have something cookin’.
Categories: Pimps Posted at 8:55 pm on March 31, 2008 3 Comments -
Many are familiar with the rejuvenating properties of a bottle of Vitamin Water following an evening spent waging a campaign of genocide on one’s own braincells. Yet while replenishing depleted stores of ephemeral get-up-and-go, Vitamin Water lacks that certain something, that special ingredient that truly puts the spring back in the step of an otherwise lackluster, shuffling crawl. That ingredient? Why, meat of course!
It’s already been proven that household objects are made better with a hot meat infusion, it’s only logical that water too would benefit from an addition of nature’s delicious murder-candy. Now the choice between sating the rumbling nausea of a vicious hangover or enduring the slings and arrows of outrageous five foot trips to the kitchen (and the ensuing near-sysiphean 2 minute wait for that damn burrito to cook all the way through) is made all the more easy. Simply lie back and sup from the bountiful teat of water that satisfies all the needs of the terminally self-dehydrated. They even make Eliza’s favorite flavor!
While the moustachio’dwomen we hold near and dear are certainly fabulous specimens of the hirsute handmaiden, none have displayed an understanding of the true power of a moustache quite so well as my good friend Ginny. Fists raised to fight off the inevitable hordes of ’stache lusting deviants she presents the confidence and (appropriately) violent tendencies that come with the affectation our favorite facial accessory.
Japanese artist Takashi Murakami has an upcoming exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum. He most recently became well known to the American public at large for his work on Graduation, Kanye West’s latest attempt to elicit a chance from The Man. The show will contain more than ninety of Murakami’s pieces:
Among the works included in this large-scale survey tracing the trajectory of Murakami’s artistic development are many of his acclaimed sculpture figures including the 23-foot-high Tongari-kun (2003–4); Miss Ko2 (1997), a long-legged waitress who has become one of the artist’s signature characters; and Hiropon (1997), a Japanese girl jumping a rope created by milk spurting from her gargantuan breasts.
The show begins April 5th and runs through July 13th.
In honor of the creeping itch in my sinuses, the latest from Handmaiden of the Tentacle, Amoel Barroco. I love the fleshly deconstruction of this piece, and the blase’, but slightly uncomfortable pose. As if one of her buttocks has gone to sleep.
As you know yesterday was Brownlee’s birthday which meant that today I had to take an extra long shower. It’s no use though, no matter how long I scrub I just can’t get clean. In any event here is a nice little animated sandwich of spoof-tastic Fox Kids and Kids’ WB cartoons between two, moist slices of anime. I hope they will entertain you, our loyal readership, and I pray that, perhaps, they will help me to repress the events of last evening. Please, God…
• FLCL: We’ve entered the final half of this spectacular mini-series, and only two more to go. Will you just look at those eyebrows.
•Eek! The Cat and The Terrible Thunderlizards: Eek! did a number of film spoofs during its run and the two that stand out, to me, are “Lord of the Fleas” in which Eek is trapped in a shopping mall with some penguins — one of whom hysterically exclaims “Shut-up, Piggy!” — and this episode entitled “Eekpocalypse Now!, which thoroughly hits upon every major joke one could make about Coppola’s film. This one is for the adults, unless you were an eight year-old who loved movies about Vietnam. The Terrible Thunderlizards was its own show but was later merged with Eek! to create a variety show more like our next two entries.
•Tiny Toons: “A Quack in the Quarks” is the second episode of this seminal show and features a loose parody of Star Wars and a plethora of fourth wall shattering humor. In this episode Plucky Duck is kidnapped by aliens to Planet X to save it from the nefarious plot of Duck Vader. This was the beginning of a real golden age of Warner Brothers cartoons in the late 80s/early 90s that include Animaniacs, Freakazoid, and the Animaniacs spin-off Pinky and The Brain. Oh, and a Watchmen reference!
•Animaniacs “Super Strong Warner Siblings” is a brilliant send-up of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers which always marked the end of cartoon time. Animaniacs also did an Apocalypse Now parody which, while excellent, did not follow the plot as closely as Eek!. Next up is one of the many “Good Idea, Bad Idea” clips followed by my favorite, Pinky and The Brain. In this episode, entitled “Battle for the Planet”, Brain once again acknowledges his Orson Welles influence by attempting to fake an alien invasion ala the Mercury Theater’s broadcast of War of the Worlds.
•Paranoia Agent: Someone has some unpleasant secrets…
John Abraham Brownlee’s journey began in a small hospital a few miles outside the port city of Algiers. His mother, a petite woman and the wife of a cobbler, was said to have been in labor for twelve days prior. It was also said that her screams were so loud that she had to be sequestered so as not to disturb the other patients. At 8:39 pm he finally deigned to emerge from the poor woman’s womb. He weighed 12 pounds 9 ounces, four of which consisted of penis.
As a child you may remember the moments of abject terror that you felt between the time when the lights in your room being switched off and when you passed out from sheer exhaustion. Those minutes stretched themselves into hours as you huddled, alert to even the slightest sound, under your blanket, its protective shell broken only by a small opening in order to allow fresh, cool air to enter so that you could breathe. Wrapped in your cloth cocoon you were safe from Closet Monsters, Boogeymen, and Dire Otters.
Fast forward and you have, hopefully, outgrown your fear of the dark. Certainly, such ridiculous fears like being torn apart by over-sized aquatic mammals are best left in the hazy land of childhood. You know now as an adult — older, wiser, and with a trail of life experiences behind you — that such fears are totally unfounded, especially when cast in the light of real threats like Natural Disaster, Terrorism, and People — No Doubt Minorities — Coming To Take Your Stuff.
We’ve profiled other bedroom protection accessories before but they pale in comparison to the level of protection offered by the Quantum Sleeper, a device that takes the protective blanket and replaces it with a bulletproof shell, complete with a bevy of features from a rebreather and “Biochemical Filtered Ventilation” to a refrigerator, microwave, toilet system, and DVD player. That is to say that the Quantum Sleeper is not so much a bed but more like a smaller, safer house inside your house, that also happens to be a bed.
The inventors of the Quantum Sleeper are quick to point out that they developed it before September 11th, lest you think they are merely reactionaries or overly paranoid when, in fact, they are just being practical. Unfortunately this fantastic contraption is unavailable as of today, the inventors are still looking for funding. They estimate that a unit would cost somewhere in the area of one hundred, thirty-five thousand dollars to manufacture. They do, however, have a demonstration model that they made from wood, a decidedly less fire, tornado, chemical, and machine-gun resistant material than advertised, but capable nonetheless of giving prospective investors an idea of the device’s real world attributes and that is, at least, one step forward for your peace of mind. Isn’t it?
While the Japanese Giant Hornet is certainly a horrifying affirmation of nature’s twisted, murderous intent it’s also a fascinating creature cautiously adored by the many warped freaks we call our friends. Apparently this fascination isn’t limited to the aforementioned bosom-dregs of society, extending to the Japanese, who treasure the enzyme rich honey created by the brutal beasts, believing it to have an invigorating effect.
The honey is collected by questionably sane apiarists on a small island in Japan who fortify the treat with methods intended to increase the enzyme levels of the honey, all so you can get the most venomous bang for your buck.
Being something of a tea zealot — and thus obsessed with constant experimentation in the field of tea accessorizing — I can ignore the hefty dosh needed to pick up a measly 4.5 ounces of this odd treat. Have a peek at the hornet honey dispensary, while currently fresh out of virulent hornet heavings they’ve got a wide array of insect-centric delectables sure to please even the most discerning adventurer’s palette.
A duo of lamps by Swedish designer Alexander Lervik for fans of the central nervous system. The brain lamp was created from a scan of the designer’s brain.
Colin’s Bear is one of my favorite things on the Internet today. The bastard child of a game design student frustrated with an inept teacher, Colin’s Bear has become a force unto itself. Like any execution of minimal effort for maximum effect this masterpiece has spawned a wide array of tribute videos, the best of which I’ve tried to collect here, but even my noble efforts can’t encompass the strange effect this has had on many like myself.
The song for the video, which is now on nearly infinite repeat on my iPod, is the Funky Monkey Dance from Mother 3. Some questionably helpful soul has even provided instructions for the proper execution of the Colin’s Bear dance, should you choose to wander down the dark path of meme emulation.
Wendy and Richard Pini, creators of long-running indy comic series Elfquest, are making the whole caboodle available free of charge at their website. New issues will be posted weekly until 30 years’ worth is online.
Comment from BoingBoing and Metafilter remind us why this is one of the best comics you’ve never heard of, but here’s a quick primer on why it rules.
• With Dave Sim’s Cerebus, it was among the first self-published comics to make it big, booting down the door for new talent the nation over. Its success as a graphic novel in mainstream bookstores helped infect the American mainstream with a European-esque appreciation for comics. Women actually read this. Women.
• Wendy Pini’s art is a melting pot of comics, manga and classical illustration. And she’s been at it since before most people had even heard of manga…
• The feral, omnisexual, hallucinogen-guzzling protagonists aren’t Tolkien-derived clichés, but a freakish medley of european lore, native american myth and hippy free love.
• No superheroes, magic wands or other arbitrary magics. It’s consistently plotted to tight rules of engagement and expertly crafted by the same wife-and-husband team thats been doing little else since 1977.
• It’s a neat blend of high fantasy and science fiction: the “elves” are aliens who wanted to impress us by appearing as angels, but got stuck in a genetic disguise by their slaves’ violent rebellion.
• All the fashions in it are either from the 1970s or the 1930s: everyone is either a pimp in furs and leather or something sculpted by Erté. They just don’t make ‘em like this any more.
• Winnowill is the best arch-villainess since Maleficent Cthulhu.
• It’s not over: the story’s final showdown, the creators write, has been written but not yet published.
• 6,000 pages of full-color classic indy brilliance free of charge. Precedent set.
• Issue #17’s Elf Orgy. If nothing else, a great name for a punk band. (Brownlee has already demanded scans, but I don’t have a copy to hand — any fans out there who can do the honors?)
Oh those wacky Belgians! Above is a segment from the British TV show Eurotrash detailing the stupendous feces faeces making machine Cloaca designed by artist Wim Delvoye. Food is put into the machine and is then fed through a series of tubes into various chambers containing biological compounds that mimic the human digestive system, breaking down the meals and finally excreting them. The finished product is nearly identical to actual human waste, which is quite an achievement. Delvoye even offered the artificial shit for purchase, although he seems to have sold out of it for the moment.
This is not his first foray into the scatological. Previously he had a series of prints of women’s anuses using lipstick and tiles with images of his faeces on them. His other work includes tattooing pigs and x-rays of people slathered with barium fucking made into stain-glass windows. The idea for Cloaca comes from the idea that people don’t spend enough time agog at the miracle that is the human digestive system, which I suppose is true; most of my meditation done on the porcelain throne not being focused on the coil of crap I’m expelling from my body, I suppose.
Watching the clip above — ignore the annoying voices of the translators — one must assume that the piece is something of a success. After all, when is the last time you saw people so eager to get so close to poop or run their fingers through it? It seems that by merely removing the human element one renders the entire undertaking acceptably sterile.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
