Sweet Dancin’ Moses, It’s Porn!
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
At any moment your computer, the very same computer you are using at this very moment to read this very post, could maliciously and without concern for your well-being, serve up a hot dish of steaming, filthy, malignant pornography. Will you be prepared to do what needs to be done? Will you have the strong moral fiber and grim determination to return said hot dish with a side order of cold, violent tech death? Steel yourself, friends, and make yourselves ready, for porn strikes when you least expect it.
Categories: Vigilantism, Obscenity, Perverts, Violence, Religion, Porn
Posted at 11:13 am on January 21, 2008
24 Comments -
Just get an ox, plow, obedient wife and turn Amish and you won’t have to worry about such problems.
Comment by Bat Guano — January 21, 2008 @ 11:56 am
Man, Porn is such an asshole. Good thing GodTube is there.
Comment by jeselvis — January 21, 2008 @ 12:17 pm
Ctrl-W is a far more efficient way to exorcise the porn demons, and it’s a lot easier on expensive equipment.
What the hell was he eating? they looked like marbles.
Comment by Peregrine — January 21, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
He was eating Jesus pills, high in moral fiber and spiritual rectitude, but plagued by the nasty side effect of intense violent anger, usually meted out to uppity ladyfolk or sin-inducing technology.
Kind of like steroids for the soul.
Comment by Peter — January 21, 2008 @ 12:42 pm
Oh Christians. Porn is bad but violence at the drop of a hat is A-OK! Psst, someone should tell them that the porn doesn’t live inside their monitors or their computer systems, but this is understandable considering that they react to most different things with violence.
What is really creepy is how they blended the sort of indie directing style with over-reactionary religious zealotry.
Comment by sean grimm — January 21, 2008 @ 1:08 pm
Of course porn doesn’t live on ones computer, it lives on the internet which, as we all know, is a series of tubes. But your compudoodiddy has ta be leaned something fierce if it wontonly throws meatpoles and she-holes at your eyes balls; that’s the devil’s keyhole
Comment by Peter — January 21, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
Of course porn doesn’t live on ones computer, it lives on the internet which, as we all know, is a series of tubes. But if your compudoodad has ta be learned somethin fierce if it wontonly throws meatpoles and she-holes at your eyeballs; thems the Debil’s keyholes.
Comment by Peter — January 21, 2008 @ 1:30 pm
Sorry about that, I thought it didn’t send the first time because I got an error meassage.
Comment by Peter — January 21, 2008 @ 1:37 pm
Wow. Were it not for the bible-quoting post-it note at the end, I would assume that the joke was on GodTube. Truth be told, I’m still not sure whether this is serious or not. I can see somebody uploading some ridiculous religious zealotry to GodTube and seeing if people take it seriously…
Maybe I should do something similar with the quote from Leviticus about wearing clothes made from two types of cloth…
Comment by Robert — January 21, 2008 @ 4:03 pm
… or the one about not eating shellfish.
Comment by Peregrine — January 21, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
…or the Man Wounded in the Stones from deut.
Comment by Haux — January 21, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
It would have been better if the hyper guy had actually plucked out his right eye.
Maybe the next clip will show the same guy beating a 7-11 clerk to death because the store sells Playboy.
Comment by Brian Schlosser — January 21, 2008 @ 7:05 pm
I loved the oh-so-subtle symbolism of the Jesus Pills being all black or white…
Comment by Cat Vincent — January 21, 2008 @ 7:58 pm
i’m with brian on this one. eye-gouging would have been poetic while being righteous in God’s eyes.
Comment by Paul — January 21, 2008 @ 8:00 pm
i’m having trouble seeing lately (missing an eye); could everyone please write their posts in a larger font?
also; moar guy thrashing tech fetish pr0n, pl0x.
Comment by zanbowser — January 21, 2008 @ 8:51 pm
Hey, wait a minute…pr0n is BAD, and deserves golf club-level violence, but lazing around at work and exhibiting sloth (you know, one of those Seven Deadlies) is okay. And isn’t that more than a wee bit of wrath being displayed as well?
By the Great Old Ones! Pr0n **is** evil! Pra’Bob and pass the cornnuts.
Comment by revston — January 21, 2008 @ 9:05 pm
For a moment I thought he was a new one of those irritating, televisual proselytes (the MACcabees?) from the iBook of Jobs.
“OUT, DAMNED VISTA!”
“As the Apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” (Song of Solomon 2:3)
(Which sounds kinda dirty…or is that just me?)
Comment by Montsnmags — January 21, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
That guy seems a little tense. Maybe he needs some porn.
Comment by Mike — January 21, 2008 @ 11:11 pm
That guy at the end was a dead ringer for Jack Thompson. He give up the good fight against video games?
Comment by Cleve — January 22, 2008 @ 12:51 am
I don’t get it, shouldn’t he have gouged out his eyeballs?
Comment by Stig — January 22, 2008 @ 3:45 am
Did you read the comments below? A lot of the Christians there are really happy that there’s a video advocating “self control”.
…
Comment by Rygar — January 22, 2008 @ 7:43 am
I take that as an indication that Christians get a lot of porn pop-ups. Which typically come from spyware. Which have been known to come, although not exclusively, from porn sites that were visited previously. Which makes you wonder where they’re getting the porn popups from.
I’m an atheist who occasionally indulges in adult entertainment, and I have zero popups. Maybe it’s because I’m a techie who knows how to do frequent spyware sweeps. Or maybe it’s because I don’t have a sexually repressed teen aged offspring surfing for porn behind my back, and getting my computer messed up with spyware.
Comment by Peregrine — January 22, 2008 @ 8:42 am
poor poor computer
Comment by ghost — January 22, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
That’s the strangest way of masturbating I’ve ever seen.
Comment by Evil Jim — January 24, 2008 @ 7:06 am