Hey You, With the I-Phone, David Lynch Thinks You’re An Idiot
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
Of the four of us here at Ectomo I am the odd man out. While I may now have my very own, specially tailored, Asteriskpunk I am, far and away, the most technologically backwards. While John and Eliza multitask and network furiously on their ultra hip Apple laptops, Qais is busy overseeing a massive RAID configuration chock full of more digital information than any one human can absorb in their lifetime, all while a legion of Roombas do his bidding.
They sneer mercilessly at my bewilderment of social networking chicanery and internet rigmarole. They condescend to send me e-mail –a word I even punctuate like a Luddite– when they would much prefer to IM or send by some other, newfangled web based telegraphy. In a world of constant connectivity, where my peers are swiftly and easily integrating mobile communication into their daily lives while practically breeding it into their offspring I hope to be the last remaining person or, at the very least, the last of my generation without a cellphone.
It does my prematurely octogenarian heart good, then, to see that others are seemingly just as crotchety about these things. David Lynch, odd, robotic, artiste/shut-in had a few choice words to say on the special edition of Inland Empire about people who choose to watch films on their i-Phones. His righteous anger is refreshing to say the least.
Bad enough that a pescetarian in a turtleneck –with a propensity for branding his products in the style of an introverted, aspiring, teenage poet who has read to much E.E.Cummings– has convinced millions of people that, not only are buttons so evil as to require that they be wiped from the face of the Earth in a cleansing fire, but that they have also, in some inexplicable way, purchased a precipitous and lofty lifestyle from which one can look out over the filthy, unwashed masses and snort the snort of those in the know.
But this is all just the cranky, apoplectic ranting of a man ostracized by the denizens of the ivory and brushed aluminum tower, one who has other things to take care of. Now if you’ll excuse me, my 100MHz Pentium is beginning to overheat and there are some kids standing on my lawn again.
David Lynch on i-Phone [YouTube] : Hugo Strikes Back!
Categories: Apple, Asteriskpunk, Hive-mind, Movies, Artists, Film, Robots, Gadgets, Clips
Posted at 11:14 am on January 8, 2008
13 Comments -
David Lynch wants to ravage you on your couch while watching his movies.
Comment by Ninja-bot — January 8, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
Exactly. If you watch on a phone you might be able to get away him.
Comment by Ross Rosenberg — January 8, 2008 @ 1:33 pm
Thank you Ross. Thank you, David Lynch.
Comment by Damien — January 8, 2008 @ 2:34 pm
We’re well aware that the real reason you don’t own a cellphone is because you know you’d spend countless hours crouched over it on your floor, staring at it, willing it to ring, sobbing your way into the deep watches of the night as it simply blinks, messageless, back at you.
Comment by Susannah — January 8, 2008 @ 4:55 pm
Up until about 18 mos ago I would have been right there at the barricades with you, Ross, protesting to my dying breath any individual’s right to excuse an inability to be reached by a context without a telephone. I should note that in many realms I am hardly the technophobe: I’ve been on the net since 1992 and was the Mac network specialist for my college’s ISP. But then I became homeless for several weeks, and I’d had no home phone for a couple months beforehand, which was likely a contributing factor to the homeless condition. When I retreated to the bosom of my parents, they insisted I suck it up and get a cell. What I now understand is that the Luddism, though not without merit, is at this late date more an evasion of responsibility than a line in the sand. Yes, your life will change when you get a cell, and not entirely for the better, but the alternative isn’t intrinsically virtuous, either, just stubborn.
Comment by License Farm — January 8, 2008 @ 5:07 pm
Of course, how can you tell what a an actor’s silent backspeech lines are on a film if YOU CAN’T READ HIS LIPS?
And finally using a cellphone is like your first anal sex experience: you mighth not like it, but you know it will come in handy one day.
Comment by Optical — January 9, 2008 @ 2:15 am
[…] the risk of completely undermining any stray vestiges of “cool” and “hip” that may still cling, however precariously, to my internet persona, allow me to profess a deep love […]
Pingback by ectoplasmosis » Denizens Of Hell Rendered In Paper — January 9, 2008 @ 11:55 am
I like—the em dash.
Comment by Joel Johnson — January 9, 2008 @ 6:40 pm
I prefer to hyphenate “e-mail” as well. I’m also quite fond of the letter æ. You just can’t spell “æther” without it.
Comment by Evil Jim — January 10, 2008 @ 6:20 am
Well, Ross, you are not alone. I don´t either have a cell phone. And I assure you all is still posible to survive without it.
Comment by Nimendil — January 11, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
I have a phone, but I just keep it turned off most of the time, unless I need to contact someone. That way I can be unreachable for others, but if I need to contact someone, I can. Selfish? Maybe. But then again, I also don’t make unnecessary phone calls at inappropriate times.
I totally agree with Lynch, though. What kind of idiot would voluntarily watch a movie on a phone? Or a PSP for that matter. Aside from ruining the experience of the film, it seems like watching such a tiny screen for 2 hours would hurt.
Comment by etho — January 13, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
What is the percentage of people that have cell phones verses no cell phones?
4 to 1 ? 5 to 1? makes you wonder
Comment by cell phone spider — February 3, 2008 @ 2:50 am
[…] happens when you put a cellphone in a microwave? To a Luddite like myself who retains a healthy distrust and aversion to mobile communication the results are […]
Pingback by ECTOPLASMOSIS! » Death Of A Cellphone — May 27, 2008 @ 1:05 pm