Objects In Meat
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
Being a carnivore can be difficult when, like me, your significant other is a member of that reprehensible subspecies of mankind known as “vegetarian”. Many nights have I spent mournfully choking down a plate of soy excrement, trying desperately to recall the inhuman sins I had surely committed in a previous life to warrant such punishment.
My delight, then, at the sculptures of Simone Racheli is understandable. I have visions of my other reaching, her eyes half full of sleep not yet dispelled by her scalding shower, for her hair dryer. Little by little, as its steady drone begins to pull her from her morning reverie, she notices that its hum is decidedly more moist than she recalls; its case, usually comfortable and familiar in her grip, feels slick and alien to her now.
Slowly she pulls it away and turns, her eyes widening in horror as she gazes deep into the gooey maw of the Meat Dryer I have replaced her normal instrument with. Steadily a scream begins to bubble in her throat, silent at first but rising quickly in both pitch and volume, at which point she drops the device, which emit a low groan upon striking the floor, where it lies, writhing.
Fleeing from the bathroom she rushes into the living room. Her cries recede gradually, so it takes some time for her to become aware of the low chuckle reverberating off the walls. As insane laughter fills the room she whips around to see me, my eyes full of madness and underlined by a terrifying rictus, seated upon my Meat Throne, my vengeance complete!
Simone Racheli [Paolo Maria Deanesi Gallery] : Crooked Brains
Categories: Meat, Food, Sculpture, Art
Posted at 12:53 pm on December 18, 2007
17 Comments -
Insert obligatory “Meat Curtains” omission here.
Comment by dubtea — December 18, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
Oh man, I just looked at the full gallery.
A meat toilet would be an unpleasantness.
Comment by Mike — December 18, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
That was pure poetry
Comment by Chill — December 18, 2007 @ 2:45 pm
I’m reminded of David Cronenberg. That’s been happening alot lately, oddly.
Comment by Steve — December 18, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
You may or may not want to just go out and get a burger or something.
Maybe a nice steak sandwich.
Or the problem could be the opposite. The necessity of having to sneak meat into your diet could have caused you to get careless. Even now the prions are repurposing your brain meats, convincing you of genius these terrible, beefy visions.
Comment by Giania — December 18, 2007 @ 3:22 pm
reminds me of the meat circuis form Psychonaughts
Comment by Adam Cybulski — December 18, 2007 @ 3:58 pm
You sir, win, for best thing I have read all day.
*applauds*
Comment by Ian Muller — December 18, 2007 @ 6:48 pm
Tonight you will be sleeping on the couch, kept warm by a nice blanket of tofu. Sweet dreams.
Comment by monkey — December 18, 2007 @ 7:23 pm
That was better than Tiny Atlas, even.
Comment by chesh — December 18, 2007 @ 9:21 pm
Imagining a revenge involving any meat in the fridge discretely swapped for similarily-looking quorn products.
Comment by D — December 19, 2007 @ 2:58 am
If we’re not supposed to eat other people, why do they taste like pork?
Comment by Nathan Myers — December 19, 2007 @ 5:31 am
I thought of Cronenberg, too!
Comment by k(i)d — December 19, 2007 @ 1:24 pm
hey, there’s some meat landscape art up in here :
http://machineanimalcollages.com/Menus/MeatScapesMenu.html
Comment by dahn — December 19, 2007 @ 2:25 pm
Death to the demoness Allegra Geller!
Comment by stegad — December 19, 2007 @ 11:22 pm
“That was better than Tiny Atlas, even.”
Whoa, fuck you.
Comment by John Brownlee — December 20, 2007 @ 9:29 am
Hi Ross,
These meat sculptures are truly weird, but they are definitely unique! Thanks for taking the time to share them. — Pat
Comment by Landscape Artist — March 19, 2008 @ 7:15 pm
[…] already been proven that household objects are made better with a hot meat infusion, it’s only logical that water too would benefit from an addition of nature’s delicious […]
Pingback by ECTOPLASMOSIS! » MeatWater — March 31, 2008 @ 7:57 pm