Orangina Furry Porn, With Apologies
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
Let me say this: Qais Fulton - street vintner, gigolo, Maccaroni- is a fecund, paragon among men; a bright, shining beacon on ye fetid and filthy interwebs. It is, then, with a pointed sense of guilt and shame that I -hunched, twisted, back-woods denizen- lay waste to the beauty this gentleman has brought us by exposing its horrid, Furry center. I pray that he will find it in his heart to one day forgive me.
Furry, French & Naughty Orangina Ad [YouTube] : Orangina
Categories: France, Smut, WTF, Television, Cephalopods, Ads, Freaks, Furries, Sex, Crime, Tentacles, Cephalophilia
Posted at 12:15 pm on November 12, 2007
26 Comments -
Carbonated fruit juice, with pulp, will now forever be likened to so much quadrupedal ejaculate.
I… hate you Ross Rosenberg.
Comment by Narkalant — November 12, 2007 @ 12:51 pm
Qais may forgive you. Perhaps he will even defend you when I come, Aztec sacrificial knife in hand, to see that you never release such a horror upon us again. That day will come, Qais. The day I amend my natural laziness and sad lack of Aztec sacrificial knife. Nothing personal, right?
Comment by Robert — November 12, 2007 @ 1:15 pm
I meant Ross, not Qais, for the second one.
Comment by Robert — November 12, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
I love Orangina. It is completely delicious. But now I will never, EVER be able to drink it again after watching that squid-babe squeeze it out of her pulpy, eldritch tits.
Comment by Derek C. F. Pegritz — November 12, 2007 @ 1:41 pm
Robert - I do not take it personally. When one posts Furry horror one knows the risks.
Also, since I see no “TM” after Derek’s comment, if I ever start a band I’m naming it “Pulpy, Eldritch Tits”.
Comment by Ross Rosenberg — November 12, 2007 @ 1:53 pm
Not only will I have to add drinking the ad’s product to my list of good wholesome activities I’ll never be able to do again.
after watching this furry nightmare, thanks to the part where the dear takes drenched in Orangina, I’ll naver be able to take a golden shower without feeling dirty too. Thanks Ross.
Comment by Scott — November 12, 2007 @ 2:11 pm
It seems our ire has been mistakenly directed across the wrong ocean for a decade. Japan, I’m sorry. France, fuck you.
Comment by Eliza Gauger — November 12, 2007 @ 2:28 pm
That’s fucking hilarious.
I don’t think I breathed until it was over.
Comment by scott — November 12, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
[…] just remarked to Q that today is going to be a day of pain and horror on Ecto: first Ross decided to violate us with a commercial that would be revolting even if performed by humans, and not by poorly-animated […]
Pingback by ectoplasmosis » Noise du Jour’s RAP SNACKS: “Smell Yo Dick” by Riskay feat. Aviance & Real — November 12, 2007 @ 2:51 pm
Elder gods what was that horror! Eliza, for the sake of our remaining sanity, sacrifice Ross to Pazuzu or one of the nameless ones and beg for forgiveness for all of us!
PS Ross, I hope that one day, soon, a man in a squirrel suit finds you attractive.
Comment by Toby McClellan — November 12, 2007 @ 2:57 pm
Jiffying. Unholy juxtaposition of mammalian apendages on the wrong species. Golden showers, multiple cunnilingua acrobatics, pole dancing wanton fluid splashing… and maybe it’s the deadly combination of YT’s low-resolution and my dirty mind, but is that bear sporting some visible genitalia?
Ah. France, I love you. Thanks to you, I’ll get aroused upon spotting some Vagi… eh, Orangina at the store. Thanks. Just what I needed.
I’ll naver be able to take a golden shower without feeling dirty too.
Amen!
Comment by Optical — November 12, 2007 @ 3:30 pm
It’s even worse when you consider that the deer was getting cozy with a fucking bear, and the whole thing could have turned vore at a moments notice.
Fuck you internet.
Comment by Mike — November 12, 2007 @ 4:12 pm
Oh, and I think the octopus is there for the sake of a pun. The Spanish word for octopus is “pulpo”, so I assume it’s something similar in French.
Comment by Eliza Gauger — November 12, 2007 @ 4:35 pm
You know, I just…that’s so…can’t process how utterly vile…
*brain explodes*
Comment by Katie — November 12, 2007 @ 6:22 pm
eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Comment by annie — November 12, 2007 @ 7:15 pm
Suffer not the furry to live!
in b4 kill it with fire.
Comment by zanbowser — November 12, 2007 @ 7:32 pm
I think this video just made me furry. I mean, shit… that octopus gal just explosively lactated orange juice. How can you not want to get down with that?
Comment by Lord Kook — November 12, 2007 @ 8:11 pm
I cannot help but be reminded of the greatest South Park ever… the Woodland Critter Christmas… with the virgin porcupine giving birth to Satan and having a cutesy blood orgy whilst the dopey Davey and Goliath bear and deer are yiffing each other.
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/south-park-yay-blood-orgy/848987580
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodland_Critter_Christmas
Comment by SM — November 12, 2007 @ 9:33 pm
Oh, and a hearty L.O.L. at the best youtube comment: “this is incredibly disturbing–after all, what kind of sick weirdo would drink orange soda with *pulp* in it it, after all?”
Comment by SM — November 12, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
Not quite as, um, erotic? but there’s more furry facing ads going on Down Under..
see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3SeMI47ckY
Comment by m1k3y — November 12, 2007 @ 10:52 pm
[…] ectomo we […]
Pingback by M1K3¥’s Blog » Blog Archive » More evidence of Funny Fans hitting the mainstream — November 13, 2007 @ 3:21 am
I don’t get it. First he meets a deer improbably swinging in the forest, then he’s at the Playboy Mansion for furries?
Comment by Stacey. — November 13, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
Ya know, BoingBoingTV is airing portions of a documentary in the works about the Furry scene, trying to legitimize it. I recognize that likely the vast majority of those who identify as Furry are relatively unassuming folks who just get a completely innocent kick out of dressing like cartoon animals. And I have enough transhumanist tendencies, theater faggotry and liberal leanings in me to want to support anyone who has it within their power to make themselves over more in keeping with their internal vision.
I just wonder where the line between “can” and “should” is. Not that such a thing ought to be codified, just that I think most people can agree on certain things, and those who don’t, well, I hope very much they’ve thought this thing out with a more grounded sounding board. Why is there not as visible and proud subculture of people wanting to be “more human than human,” to coin a phrase?
And yeah, that bear’s cock is showing. Fucking French.
Comment by License Farm — November 13, 2007 @ 8:23 pm
That was sexy, but very wrong for public publication.
Comment by Brandon — July 7, 2008 @ 6:30 am
And whilst i agree with “fucking french” why do so many people worry about other people wanting to dress up? It’s still a social event and come on, a “renn fair” is just as bad if not worse, due to horrid, bad inaccuracies.
If you’re actually that squeamish, why’re you even on the damn “interweb” using posh wording that really, honestly isn’t a problem compared to things like rape, drugs, murder, pimping, “pedobear” rings, etc etc…
If you don’t like it, stay away from it, that’s all there is to it. You think i’m a member at most “known” furry sites just for “getting laid”? Nope! And alot of people registered there probably aren’t even “true” furries, just using it the same as a dating agency with more probability of scoring. Despite the aspects people don’t like, you really are making a mountain out of a molehill. Sure, this ad might urge someone to f**k a goat or something but…anything else could’ve and whilst it could even have a random catalyst effect, maybe you’re scared more people will realise “hey, that’s not so scary”?
Personally, i’d go to a convention, just for the laugh. Yes, even with hidden camera and audio for those who insist it’s all horrible. Like most things, it depends on the person (unless we’re talking about crack cocaine or “ICE” (crystal methamphetamine) in which case that f**ks anyone up. Doesn’t matter if you’re moral or old fashioned like me or a completely sleazy male slag asshole with millions of STIs, you don’t know what it will do) so stop worrying about such trivial things and actually concentrate on things that really DO need to change or things that will make the world better. If furry-ism, the fandom, whatever you want to call it, did not exist, then surely there’d be even more depressed people, suicides and chances of love, true love, lost. It’s not all bad out there, you just have to know what you’re doing and, if you’re not part of it, you really don’t know much, if anything. Same with the press, papers, the news - do you really believe ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you read or hear? People who are biased deserve to be judged themselves before judging others - most people reading my posts will be doing so now, assuming things about me without even knowing me. This is text. Chill out a bit, be positive and maybe, just maybe, things’ll work out for you better than if you try to condemn everyone else without looking at yourself? Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups and money is the route of all evil (besides politics and religion - most reasonably intelligent people will realise this all anyway) which i guess is the main reason i’m not involved on it. £5000+ for a suit that could get fucked up so easily, especially with narrow minded biggots running around even killing “furries”. They’re still human beings, dumbass. Infact, some people seem to forget humans actually ARE animals, mammals…isn’t being a furry just like trans-gender type stuff (I.E. changing sex) basically the same? To express who you are, or who/what you feel you are, inside.
Not that i believe in cosmetic surgery, i was born the way i was for a reason, leave it. Plus, all this “open relationship” shit some of ‘em swear blind ISN’T sexual just need a slap…anyone into that kinda thing needs a slap. Where did everyone’s morals, guilt and decency go? Is religion the soul reason for people feeling that way, and being able to commit and love JUST one person in that special way? No! It’s more generic right and wrong than anything. And if you’re with someone - why shag around if you claim they’re your soulmates and so on? And don’t give me “it’s for the companionship” bullshit or anything like that, and just ’cause you’re young doesn’t mean you HAVE to put it about a bit if you have any decency and respect for YOURSELF and others. These days? Most people don’t! I strongly believe in old skool (mostly, but like i said, open mind…i’d try bondage just for the laugh, to be honest. “you only live once” and all that) including that older stuff is better and, oddly, i’d rather have a -slightly- older partner than myself…i want to be the immature reckless one so i can learn and improve myself! i don’t wanna be a role model for anyone or anything like that, fuck no! one of me is PLENTY. anyway i went off tangent there. i have an older Kenwood Hi-Fi, things like that. blows ALOT of modern and even “high end modern” home stereos into freakin’ orbit! okay, the tape deck’s gone a little screwy (seperates system, NOT “ribbon cable” linked) but i can fix that anyways. Even older stick welding machines are better than new ones for f**k sake! a more modern one with supposedly 140A max output is beaten by a 90A max, heavy as FUCK unit, with only ONE working capacitor out of two, that’s ran for 20 years without a SINGLE problem. the new one? overheats and cuts off VERY quickly and, at similar current settings, is awful compared to it’s grandfather, basically.
Again with the random. Yes, i’m bored and can’t sleep. And i don’t have to register to post (but will probably get my I.P. banned anyway…then i just change it o_O) so that’s even better.
And the convention video from back in 1999…ever consider things have changed since then? I watched it…what’s so shocking in there? Not alot. Seems to be a worst case scenario that isn’t even that bad blown up to make it look like it’s like that all the time…seriously, give furry bashing a rest. And if god hates furries…why make a website about it touting alot of bullshit when infact, alot of people who AREN’T furry are mocking him just by using god as an excuse, christ it’s as bad as using that against homosexuals…even though in the bible it doesn’t explicitly say it’s WRONG and actually contradicts it’s self, there are parts edited out and missing - and how the hell can a NEW bible be released if everything’s supposed to be set in a certain way?
And remember, regarding the latest furry advert, which is actually really impressive (though i first saw the slightly edited version on my TV, popped straight on the ‘net to look it up and watched the full one - i DO get your points there but if it’s aired when kids shouldn’t be watching the damn TV then whose fault is that? parents! same with hicks bitching their kids saw this and that on this here interweb thingy…then learn to set up your fucking built in protection software and filters you poor excuses for parents! i had access to things i should’ve not seen at 12/13…but i’d already BEEN THROUGH worse and i’ve always been sensible anyway. 2008 and people are still so squeamish. Desensitize yourself. It works for me if i find normal things that happen in life, such as messy fatal accidents, irksome or intimidating, then just go watch www.strangeland.com and READ THE DAMN WARNING! If you’re even a slight pussy namby pamby still sucking on your mother’s tits loser then don’t even type the damn URL in! Even the Saddam hanging video is there, i think. Not a pleasant death for him, very undignified…but do we care? considering how many people HE’s killed and hurt, it’s nothing! And it’s funny, narrow minded idiots bash furries yet have no problem with acting like animals in other ways, ripping each other to shreds with blades and bullets, kill or be killed. I thought what set us apart from “lower life forms” is that we’re “human” with a complex language and life system, etc? Personally, i’d rather be a Dolphin. Although even their behaviour is odd, sometimes.
And @Licennse Farm, there should be more people with minds like yours. But why isn’t being a furry not legitimate anyway? It’s not illegal to be a furry! Older religions are even under scrutiny now (not spell checking (and i guess to some people being furry is almost like another religion, as is atheism in that you have none of the above but could still be a furry)), and if it was illegitimate, how could conventions be held in the first place?! And usually cops are there, not to arrest furries but to make sure they stay safe from assholes that just come up and slash them for being different to what they expect. And that’s the main point i guess. There are other things that are still sub cultures that are 10 times stranger, make less sense or are PURELY sexual and even 10 times worse than everyone makes out furries to be. Believe me, i’ve met alot of assholes in my time but like everywhere, there are truly great people. Just stop being so judgemental and you might find you don’t die old and alone with nobody giving a fuck about you because you’re such a bitter, twisted old fart that never had the balls to stand up and do something deep down inside you know feels right, be it a closet furry or you think you’re the spawn of satan or something. Pretty sure there IS something “down there”, in a sense, but if there’s nothing skywards…we’re all fucked anyway so who gives a CRAP what people do? Unless it really is personally causing you trouble or hurting you DIRECTLY then…like, stay the fuck out of it just because you want something to moan about?
Also, it’s a sad fact, and has been for years….SEX SELLS! Did nobody notice this trend? Orangina is clearly more aimed at adults now, i see more people out of school drinking it than people IN school so….target audience goal achieved…plus they’ll cash in big time on conventions that’ll start stocking them and running that video! Duh. Nobody think of that one? IT’S TO MAKE MORE MO-NEY DUHHHHH ICEKWEEEEEM! And public publication? First of all, you can change the damn channel if you find it offensive and flick back and well…the first part of publication is PUBLIC so, no matter what it is, that’s what it does. Publicise the product! There are ads WAY worse and look at some american ads i’ve seen where even things are said like “buy this car or you’re a fucking loser” and etc…isn’t that wrong to say to the public? Like something in an old simpsons episode… “buy me bonestorm or go to hell!!” wouldn’t even be accepted over here, however we don’t censor “hell” like most US stuff does….sorry, but i find that so lame. I said hell. Big deal. It’s another stupid religion thing affecting people’s freedom of speech again!
I’d also like to state that, just like being homosexual or “in the wrong sex body” alot of real furries felt certain ways from being a kid, and do you know what? At the end of the day, it’s nice to have something to relate to and, back in the day, the trend was that alot of furries had RL problems and issues…yet not so long ago i was talking to some dumb american girl that was supposed to be in love with me and bla bla…yet she’d had it easy so…i guess the more public it is, the worse it’ll be for the fandom, not everyone else. she was convinced she was furry and also attended annual renn fares…if she really was furry she’d have actually bothered to get out there and meet people instead of doing as her parents order and living her life like a zombie but…oh well! Alot more to this story including she lied her head off and alot of young american females seem spoiled and brattish (and that’s an american MALE’S words, whom is with someone from the phillipines. lol. many americans are alright…those with a decent brain anyways. sorry for seeming like i do nothing but rip america but LOL the US is so busy being caught up with what other people are doing the place is going to hell more than it ever was, infact it already has. you even knew about the “global warming” bullshit potential years ago but what’s been done by the people that can actually make a REAL difference to stop it? nothing! now it’s up to the end users of products? not the people that actually make them or provide various services? the people that force us to buy things knowing they’re doing lasting damage to the environment? no, like alot of things, money drove them. you can’t directly use money to put the ozone back and re-freeze the ice caps, now can you? either physically as in use it to better insulate the ice caps, for example, or actually buying something to do it. unless like, microsoft and other stupidly wealthy corporations (read: lemming hurders) actually DO something because they have the -power- to? do you think -everyone-’s gonna bother turning everything they can completely off every night? no, we pay for the damn service and use it when needed, a more efficient method of CREATING the power or fuel or whatever would be 10 fold more beneficial. can’t wait ’till “fuel cells” are mass market available to the end user for a reasonable cost…but i might not even be alive to see it.
And i’m 21, by the way, if anyone gives a shite o_O
-C.H.
Comment by Chaos Husky — August 19, 2008 @ 12:07 am
And i’m stopping reading all other comments, as it just makes me want to rip your arrogant empty heads off and shove it up yer own arses, to be honest.
Also, if you’re so fucking strange and narrow-minded you’d actually be put off drinking something you like because of ONE advert…do me a favour and point the business end of a boomstick at your face to see if it fires alright, will ya?
And here’s a couple of FACTS. I don’t even LIKE Orangina that much, or didn’t - don’t like the bits! Plus…how many people actually think i’m a furry, i wonder… If you say that i am, you’re a narrow minded idiot, get off the internet now, it’s no place for a child like you. If you think no…you’re almost right.
There you go, have a mindfuck. Just waiting for some turd to come along and type mis-spelled poor childish insults all in caps like the original AOL user joke, which was also a trend i saw “back in the day”…for some reason, sometimes i talk like i’m already an old fart. So does this mean as i get older my brain will crumble, turn to dust and fall out my nose? or will it just go all wrinkly and repeat the same thing over and over? i already do the latter. I know someone will try and take the piss for how many times i said narrow-minded, and various other things. Am i trying to start a flame war? No. Idiots just need to be put in their place, is all. If there was such a thing as life school, some of you need to go there. Now. And no, not DeVry. They’re useless too, so i’m informed. However, i have no oppinion as i have no right to form one about something i know no details of, nor have ever been there.
There’s another interesting fact about me too, concerning how i was born (and i don’t mean how i was delivered, i mean how my body was when i was born) that also gives me the ability to see things from both sexes’ point of view. I’m a thinker, and what i say comes from knowledge, usually experience and fact, not just hear-say or dumbly formed statements with no basis or actual…knowledge.
Knowledge is true power, and whilst i wished to be “dumb and normal” all through school, i’m SO glad i’m not. And having seen the posts some have made just over a fucking ADVERT makes me even more pleased i don’t have less brainpower than a 2 watt incandescent lamp (”light bulb” is a bit crude i find…so generic you could even call damn LEDs a “bulb” as most people not even slightly knowledgeable about electronics or DC circuits would. “bulb” only refers to the type of lamp most commonly seen to light ones homes, made of glass. i could’ve just said bulb, but i’m just trying to be annoying now. i should go to bed instead of being sad and lame =D
also, i hate the way i pick up language, i say too many american things. Infact, you might want to see the figure for number of known furries, not factoring in the un-knowns, to see how freaky it ISN’T now. Only stupid people or morons that jump to conclusions without thinking are instantly freaked by it, assume it means we all want to fuck other different species of animal, suck at “regular scoring”, etc. I have furry friends, non-furry friends, religious friends, trivial things don’t bother me. If the religious nuts start preaching, though, i’m just likely to say “show me scientific evidence not hearsay or what could be amazing coincidence or the work of the Theory of Chaos.
Also, i’m NOT a virgin, have experienced both and prefer…none. Didn’t expect THAT, did ya? Now i’m just being stupid. Lolz0r80r 0wn3d (why the FUCK did that become pwned anyway? that’s just…err, “gay”. sorry, ran out of fancy “educated” posh wordings =P)
Comment by Chaos Husky — August 19, 2008 @ 12:43 am