Concert promo by Kipling West. You can see the finished, lettered version here.

Smokin’ Cobra in a Fez [Seven Deadly Sinners]

MC Frontalot presents a story of fear, revenge, and the dangers of overly intelligent progeny. Watch, and give voluntary sterilization a long, hard look, this could be you. You have been warned. As per usual, there is also a version of superior quality.

MC Frontalot - Bizarro Genius Baby [YouTube] : boingboing

ACEO #4 - Cthulhid in Profile, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer.

ACEOs, or “art cards (editions or originals)” are 2.5 x 3.5″ pieces of media, meant to be sold or traded by the originating artist. I give one out in every art order from my Etsy store, which equates to constantly-necessitated doodling on my part. I like to keep me on my toes.

This piece, the fourth ACEO I ever did, is done in maroon ink on bristol, and was given to a guy who ordered some prints. The profiled octopoid head is a recurring character in my drawings. I am fascinated with the idea of heavy, succulent tentacles, cascading over human shoulders and neck like thick ringlets. The lack of arms and Auschwitzian gauntness is just gravy.

It might appear at first glance that I have become some sort of cheap shill, a prostitute willing to debase my self at the mere suggestion of product, regardless of its quality. This is,
however, not the case. I am, as of yet, in no position to buy in sell out but I assure you that I await that moment with baited breath.

No, instead what we have here is a perfectly valid excuse for me to talk about videogames which, despite Eliza being of the opinion that my views on the subject are on par with, say, an otter suffering from Down’s Syndrome, is one that I love nonetheless.

Let me say, however, that it is difficult to retain one’s enthusiasm for for one’s hobby in the face of such cutting criticism. If you are “in the know” (or, similarly, “down with O.P.P.”), you are aware that the horrifically deformed blasphemous lovely Miss Gauger is an actual, flesh and blood games journalist, which is to say that when she “raps” and “tells it like it is” people will listen and, in some cases, moisten with incoherent and unearthly rage. She is, then, a professional and, as such, her views on my worth as a human being carry both weight and value, making them capable of delivering a swift and vicious one-two punch to my, admittedly, already emaciated and tattered self-esteem.
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For those who don’t know, the gentleman in the video, Tay Zonday, created quite a stir six months back (or roughly ten thousand Internet years) with his song “Chocolate Rain”, a repetitive and horribly infectious tune which dealt with the issues of racial injustice and rage, societal tensions, and stepping back from the mic to breathe in. Combine this with the mocking adoration of two radio imbeciles and you have a video that has racked up millions of hits.

Enter Dr. Pepper®, a company who has chosen to prove once again that corporations will take any trend, no matter how insipid or fleeting, and use it as fodder for advertising. For their new cola, Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr Pepper, they have produced the YouTube video “Cherry Chocolate Rain” featuring Mr. Zonday doing a “pimped out” sequel to his original hit complete with beats that one might describe as “phat” if one were so inclined, an unknown enthusiast of the rapping arts, Mista Johnson who, according to his site, goes by the alias Felonious Monk in an insult to one of jazz’s greatest composers, and, of course, scantily clad women gesticulating with the enthusiasm, coordination, and talent of someone being cleansed of demons or in the throes of a grande mal seizure. Lest one forget that this video references “the interwebs” a stuffed squirrel, complete with shocked expression, is also featured near the video’s conclusion.

I suppose that in a way, ridiculous as this ad may appear, it is perfectly functional for the purposes it was made to serve. Memes rarely last very long, perhaps just long enough to cover the life of a limited edition beverage. In this regard it seems perfectly suited. However, one has to wonder if that is even long enough, or if companies even have the resources or foresight to take advantage of these trends. Considering the internet community’s ADHD-esque tendencies and the random appearance and instantaneous popularity of videos like “Chocolate Rain” it seems to me that advertisers will be perpetually late to the party.

“Cherry Chocolate Rain” Original Song by Tay Zonday [YouTube]

An episode of the Batman TV series that I can’t remember ever having seen, but which exists nonetheless. Batman, Robin the Boy Wonder, and Batgirl are taken captive by the evil Commissioner Nora Clavicle who places them in the devious Siamese Human Knot which the slightest movement will cause to draw tighter, crush their bones, and strangle them. It also produces a visual that, at first blush, very much resembles Batgirl in a comic book geek’s perverted DP/ménage à trois fantasy and at second blush very much resembles Batgirl in a comic book geek’s perverted DP/ménage à trois fantasy.

The plot is equally nonsensical. Whilst our heroes are otherwise “preoccupied” the nefarious Commissioner plans to destroy Gotham City, on which she has recently placed a ten million dollar insurance policy. In case you were wondering just what that would cost, Batman provides the answer: a seemingly quite affordable two hundred dollars a month. In the end the heroes untangle themselves via a technique that Batman “just recalled” and which consists of him wiggling his ears while Robin bends the fourth finger on his left hand. And now you know, should you find yourself in a similar predicament, although you should, perhaps, refrain from imitating Adam West’s gasp of “I’m wiggling,” as you do.

Burt Ward’s usually silly exclamations reach ridiculous heights here, “Holy knit one purl two,” being just one of many in this short scene. This show was never intent on taking itself seriously but, truly, they achieve a new level of absurdity here. “Exactly Robin. This is torture at its most bizarre…and terrible.”

Siamese Human Knot Batgirl [YouTube] : poeTV

It was, indeed, no surprise that Derek Pegritz’s feats of mandibular strength and endurance (for which he was well known in his younger days, when he performed under the stage name of El Capitán Fuertes-dientes) made him quite popular with women both single and, according to the gossip and scandal sheets of the time, those already spoken for.

Later, his life would take on shades of Nabokov when, the age of circus strongmen having since passed, he entered academia and, after years of physical abuse, all of his teeth would have to be removed and replaced with dentures, reportedly fashioned from poached elephant ivory. This has been disputed by historians who argue that the only reports of this come from less than reputable sources. It must be pointed out that neither his change in profession nor the loss of his teeth limited his appeal to the fairer sex.

Strong Man and Seven Lovely Ladies - 1920s [Flickr] uploaded by Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy

The Literary Review’s annual Bad Sex in Fiction Awards took place earlier today and this year’s winner was the recently departed Norman Mailer. The awards were started fourteen years ago with the stated aim of “gently dissuading authors and publishers from including unconvincing, perfunctory, embarrassing or redundant passages of a sexual nature in otherwise sound literary novels.”

The award-winning passage, from one of Mailer’s last novels, The Castle in the Forest, describes the fictional, incestuous lovemaking between Hitler’s parents at the moment of his conception and features this gem of a sentence: “Uncle was now as soft as a coil of excrement.” Natch. But while Mailer was a titan of letters, and poking fun at Hitler a noble task deserving of such talent, I can’t help but be a bit disappointed that my pick didn’t win.

My vote was for Gary Shteyngart’s Absurdistan. Surprisingly, Gary Shteyngart is not Brownlee’s nom de guerre nor is this his memoirs, although one would be forgiven for the mistake when reading passages such as this, which I present here in it’s entirety after the jump. It is lengthy but, most assuredly, worth it:
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The first single from El-P’s newest album, I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead. A lovely little ditty about God, Scientology, and airplanes, nominally featuring Trent Reznor doing a few chorus lines. I’m more a fan of this song in conjunction with the video, directed by Daniel Garcia and Nathan Love, than on its own. Previous to this Garcia had done work for J-Dilla, Madvillian, and Madlib. A higher quality version of this particular effort is available on his site.

EL-P - Flyentology with Trent Reznor [YouTube]

For any of our female Ectomites looking to recreate The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife but who do not have access to a live octopus, or do not have the desire to have a slick, razor sharp beak on their sensitive and delicate girl parts, the Screaming Octopus Clitoral Vibrator is the perfect holiday gift. Comes complete with “Tingle Tentacles” which no self respecting manufacturer of cephalopod sexual massagers would fail to include.

Screaming O Screaming Octopus Clitoral Vibrator [LoveHoney]

For the gentleman of good breeding -or woman who wishes to have the experience of wielding a death-dealing phallus in the genteelest way possible- we present this exquisitely engraved example of the MP5K Machinenpistole. This toff firearm comes with a supple, leather attaché case from which it can be fired without having to be removed, especially helpful if taken by surprise by a gang of ruffians and there are no constables in the area vicinity.

The MP5K Series [HKPRO] : boingboing : Skullring