A Rebuttal
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
To the insipid pap that was posted by half of the dynamic duo that are the New Scum’s fearless leaders. I’m not sure if you can appreciate just what a slap in the face that post was, dear readers.
Allow me to elaborate.
Each day I receive multiple emails from our overlords. Half are from Eliza, these usually consist of long strings of nonsense and profanity, usually followed by a few disparaging remarks about my intelligence and manhood, and ending with a demand for squid chips. She has an insatiable need for these.
The other half are from Brownlee and these are much more insidious. These are almost always comprised of lists of rules, spoken like a father mentoring his developmentally delayed child; a child whose brain is being asphyxiated by the fluid that fills his hydrocyphalic skull and who, without proper supervision, would only drool on himself and slam his balled up fists impotently upon his keyboard. They are littered with the ten-dollar words and the kind of colloquial, British spelling that only an Ivy League education can buy and a penchant for Oscar Wilde role-playing can allow to thrive. The vitriol that drips from the ebony coloured ramblings of His Eminence, The Most Pedantic Maven is truly awful.
So one can understand that I, a lowly serf here at Ectomo, a grub, not fit, apparently, to include my masters’ words - precious jewels that they are - in my reply emails, might feel betrayed. In fact, I now see them for the truly desperate people they are. So for my own sanity, and that of all Ectomites, I give you the only kind of cat picture that should be posted in this wonderful corner of the internet. I present you with taxidermied kittens having a tea party.
Please everyone, pray they have mercy on me.
Walter Potter [A Case of Curiosities] : Suzanne G. : Morbid Anatomy
Categories: Animals, The New Scum, Hydrocephalia, Freaks, Memes, Horror, Art
Posted at 12:36 pm on October 10, 2007
15 Comments -
Taxidermy… kittens…
TAXIDERMY… KITTENS?!?
Taxidermy has always given me the creeps, along with a handful of Amazon River parasites. As for this?
Ross, I assure you that you have nothing to fear. The sheer wrongness of what you have posted assures your security. I’m going to go take a long walk in the sunshine and attempt to purge this from my mind.
Comment by Robert — October 10, 2007 @ 1:28 pm
They left him no choice really. When your only move is to post taxidermied kittens, you know you’ve been backed into a corner. Godspeed Ross.
Comment by Julian — October 10, 2007 @ 2:13 pm
Taxidermy Kittens = Great Band Name
Comment by SpaceMonkeyX — October 10, 2007 @ 2:14 pm
Oh man, I thought the picture was kind of cute until you said what it actually was.
That’s pretty fucked up. Though I’ll confess that it’s the sort of wrongness that made me chuckle a little.
Comment by Mike — October 10, 2007 @ 2:32 pm
It’s a much cooler pic than Florian’s LOLCat, I’ll give you that much.
I got a mental picture of a pockmarked old man assuring a little girl that her kittens would be given a good home. They were going to live on his farm, you see, and they would live the happy lives of barn cats, drinking fresh milk every day and eating as many mice as they could catch! As the little girl wiped away her tears, the thought of the happy and adventurous lives her kittens were going to live cheered her up. The nice, undoubtedly ugly, old taxidermist would give her a hug and reassure her that all was well, leaving her none the wiser to his sinister agenda that involved snapping 15 little necks.
Comment by Slacker — October 10, 2007 @ 3:29 pm
My God! Thank you!
My girlfriend will ADORE this picture!
Comment by monoculture — October 10, 2007 @ 3:55 pm
Oh, my!
Comment by scott — October 10, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
That tableau is just crying out to be animated by Jan Svankmajer…
Comment by Adam — October 10, 2007 @ 7:30 pm
This looks like a still from a Radiohead video.
Comment by Christa — October 10, 2007 @ 10:07 pm
U want has moar!?
No. I r stuffed LULZ!
Comment by Benjamin Rooney — October 11, 2007 @ 3:58 am
i can has furmaldhyd?
heh heh… you can tell we’re all at least part time /b/rothers (well, except Eliza… no girls on interbutts).
Comment by zanbowser — October 11, 2007 @ 9:07 am
Nice post.
If this were posted on BoingBoing they’d give readers a Unicorn Chaser. Wimps.
Comment by Evil Jim — October 11, 2007 @ 9:48 am
You are all creepy, perverted swine. This place has the atmosphere and the stench of old dead things that I found in a museum of oddities in Baltimore a few years ago, the American Dime Museum (RIP). You would have your own mothers sodomized by furries and then mummified if you could. It’s why I keep coming back.
Comment by Bat Guano — October 11, 2007 @ 11:26 am
Thanks for understanding everyone. A man can only be pushed so far!
Comment by Ross Rosenberg — October 11, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
@Bat Guano: one of the only reasons i came back to this stinking, wretched filthpit of a city (aside from not really knowing where else i could go and live for free and in comfort for a while), and it up and dies on me February-last. ::sigh:: so sad.
@Ross: none of us understand you, Ross… freakshow… that thing you did with Eliza’s undergarments and Florian’s whiskey cavendish?… unspeakable! ^_~
Comment by zanbowser — October 11, 2007 @ 4:42 pm