The Great Cross-Country Girl Hunt of 1967

When I was a teenager — the sub-dermal tectonics of my face bulging with pus and my brain racing with cheap, wanna-be pimpsterism — my friend Dong Diep (pronounced ‘deep’) and I had a plan. Over the summer, we would purchase an old van for a dollar. This would be supplied by his Asiatic and Rastafarian cousin, who existed like a funky phantom in an ether of marijuana smoke. The rest of our money would be pooled to renovate this van with all of the necessary riggings for cross-country pimping: namely, a water bed in back, lava lamps for head lights, a bitching set of hydraulics and, most ingeniously, a drag chute to slow down and turn on a dime if we happened to spot a honey by the side of the road that we couldn’t otherwise stop for (see the Batman television series for mechnical reference). Through sticky, drunken fumblings on the railroad tracks with insecure teenage girls we had conquered Malden: our next goal was America itself.

We never did end up doing that trip together. The logistics were, of course, sound, but I ended up spending my money on a trip to Europe instead, where the furry armpits of loose European women expanded my philosophy of pimpsterism. The rest is history: I’ve spent the vast majority of the last decade living in Europe. I have no idea what happened to Dong, but with his suggestive name (perfect for an insinuating pun!), I imagine he did similarly well.

Still, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Dong and I had driven across country in our pimp mobile. It’s possible that if we’d done so, I’d love the highways of America just as much, if not more so, than I adore the hostels of Europe. And if we had gone on such a trip, I like to think it would have gone something like this cheesecake Kerouackian adventure, first published inthe Summer 1967 issue of Glamour Photography under the title “The Great Cross-Country Girl Hunt.” Like our would-be trip, it describes the adventures of three creepy men in a van, driving across country and taking pictures of loose, half-naked women they happened to spy on the side of the road. A Bang Bus for more innocent times.

Check it out: the article and photography are both top notch.

Glamour Photography - Summery 1957 [Ziza.ru] : Hugo Strikes Back!