Two Reasons Why Bioshock Is Ectomo’s Game Of The Year
Posted by John Brownlee
Despite the fact that you — a genetic freak with pustulous boils erupting from your elecrtified fist — are fighting for your very survival, warily watching the ceilings lest a gravitationally defying spider splicer drop down and pull your guts out through your navel, dodging the monstrous drill bits of golems in antique diving suits that desperately yearn to chew through your sternum… there’s always time to kick back, chomp the stem of a cherry wood apple bowl and light up a fat bowl of heady latakia.
Prepubescent cephalophilia in chalk drawings. I can’t tell you how I got here, or what this scene portends, since it’s a significant spoiler. Let’s just say I refrained from splattering these darling girls brains all over the ground with my insanely overpowered wrenching skills, simply so as not to drown their happy squid.
Categories: Small Children, Undead Lolitas, Gurls Gurls Gurls, Pipes, Games, Cephalophilia
Posted at 6:17 am on August 31, 2007
10 Comments -
can’t wait until next weekend; the wife says i can pick it up next Caturday. in the meantime, facewrench some maniacs for me, eh Maestro Brownlee?
heh heh - morality play… as if there were any other choice but the Wrenching!
Comment by zanbowser — August 31, 2007 @ 6:31 am
The scene that precedes you arriving at the room in the second picture was one of the more powerful moments I’ve seen in a video game. Absolutely brilliant. Hopefully I’ll finish it up this weekend although I’m sad now, I never spotted the pipe!
Comment by Ross R. — August 31, 2007 @ 9:23 am
What I love about this is how many people must be scratching their heads wondering what kind of weed latakia is.
Mmmm…. Nightcap…
Comment by Michael — August 31, 2007 @ 9:48 am
Ross, would you kindly lower that wrench and travel back to Fort Frolic, searching the Tobaccerria once you’re there? I left a bowl there specially for you.
Comment by John Brownlee — August 31, 2007 @ 10:01 am
I really wish I could discuss the whole “reveal” in Bioshock with Ross now. It’s just really brilliantly done.
Comment by John Brownlee — August 31, 2007 @ 10:03 am
Ah, I know exactly where you’re talking about. I will go there this evening.
See, here’s the perfect reason for a Forum, so that we can discuss the brilliance of a video game. Heh. Ok maybe not.
Comment by Ross R. — August 31, 2007 @ 10:22 am
Don’t worry about spoiling it on my account. I probably wouldn’t have time to play it, even if I did have the equipment.
Comment by Peregrine — August 31, 2007 @ 1:31 pm
@Peregrine- That’s unfortunate, it is well worth the time although few games if any are worth the cost of an upgrade just to play them. However with the absence of spoiler tags I would be loathe to ruin it for, say, zanbowser as I do not want him sending his hired goons to my doorstep to threaten the wellbeing of my kneecaps. Again.
Comment by Ross R. — August 31, 2007 @ 2:09 pm
Ross, it’s good that you remember that… it would pain me to send Guido and the Shark ’round for a visit. ^_~
i’m not sure where i stand on spoilers. i thought it was hilarious when the /b/rothers closed the pool on harry potter day; however, it was equally (if not more) hilarious watching one of them get mace’d by an enraged 12-year-old.
Brownlee - can we use BBCode or HTML inside the comments? last i played with WordPress was quite a while ago. perhaps we could implement a “spoiler” tag?
Comment by zanbowser — August 31, 2007 @ 2:40 pm
I couldn’t get the other ending, there’s just something morally void about braining little orphans, I’m having my friend do it for me.
Comment by Austin W. — September 1, 2007 @ 6:12 pm