Even the gleam in the eyes of this young tattooee speaks volumes on the subject of mythological rape. One cannot imagine him taking his pleasure without feathers billowing from the bedsheets, and thunder rattling the windowpanes.

Fine Print | Ink, Inc. [NYTimes : knickersoakers : thanks Nadya!]

Plumbed from the depths of Something Awful comes one goon’s justification for rape; a heady mixture of pseudo-philosophical posturing with healthy doses of nerd-rage and unfulfilled sado-fetishistic fantasies. Surely, however, this would be nothing but another shut-in’s rant on the internet without the aid of the two Playmobil-inspired individuals. It is most certainly their vacant eyes, the inexplicable nudity of the male character, the silent, smiling demeanor of his lady friend that make Stephen Hawking’s monotonous exposition that much more unsettling. Don’t even ask why they’re on a tennis court. Just. Don’t.

rape is sometimes justified [xtra normal] : poeTV

BAD MAGS [Bad Mags] : Good Conduct Well-Chastised : Weird Universe

Everything good about MTV lives in a world that exists, long since passed, in the memories of those who were there called “Remember When”. It’s a world where Music Television was actually music, on television and where the newest and craziest in modern animation was shown on something called Liquid Television accompanied by shows like Beavis and Butthead, Aeon Flux, The Head, and The Maxx. It is a place that many look back on with great fondness with good reason.

My relationship with MTV was not immediate. It was instead something that I had to acquire through a middleman, my family not having cable. It was something that I could only watch whilst visiting a friend or, in the case of The Maxx and Aeon Flux, by having it taped by my friend Will. It was a weekly ritual, the same VHS cassette exchanged back and forth, previous episodes taped over to make room for my fix. If I had more foresight, I would have no doubt bought extra cassettes so a to preserve the series but, alas, I was not the forward thinking in my youth.

The Maxx remains a show that, upon repeated viewings all these years later, has lost none of its impact. It still works, at least for me. Surely, it can be argued that, in its abbreviated form, it is lacking in comparison to the comic book that spawned it, and there is some truth there. The relationships that tie all of these wounded characters together are explored far less here, especially the relationship between Julie and the titular hero. This can be forgiven though, no television series could have really handled Sam Keith’s twisted, meandering story and psychological musings. The man himself could barely handle it, his panels cramped and scattered, requiring arrows to guide the reader’s eye.

The TV show is, then, The Maxx distilled and in that regard it succeeds brilliantly. Keith’s artwork animates beautifully and the voice work and music are some of the best in a cartoon. It is a starkly melancholy show, something I’m not sure everyone was expecting from a cartoon. Featuring none of the bombast of Aeon Flux or The Head it was instead an exploration of trauma, violence, and, ultimately, redemption. It is a show well deserving of your Saturday morning if you’ve not seen it before and well worth it for those who have; to sit down and look back to the world of “Remember When”.

Just a note: Take a look at this while you can for the YouTube Police’s wrath is swift and brutal.

Saturday Morning Cartoons XLVIII [YouTube]

Someone, somewhere saw this photo by one jimofwales depicting a warning to swimmers of cephalopodal jellyfish rapists and thought “My god, this is absurd; a squid would never molest a swimmer. The real danger is tentacled cock monsters with transgender fetishes. I’ve got to warn them!” And so, they did.

Oh yeah, might be NSFW.

Continue Reading…

There are, I suppose, two ways to take this ad for Goodyear’s “Double Eagle” tires. The first is that a woman, incapable of understanding the subtleties of using a jack to raise a portion of her car off the ground and then having to deal with the mysterious complexity of threaded nuts and bolts, will walk for what seems like miles, running the risk of being dragged off into the bushes to be raped and murdered by a man or group of men, only so that she can get to a phone — because those broads love to just yak yak yak, am I right fellas?

The other way to take it is that men can easily be replaced by dual walled, rubber tires.

When There’s No Man Around – Goodyear Commercial [YouTube]

Last we’d heard from little Jimbles McGullohanie, our pint-sized paladin had departed on a noble quest to brutally rape all alien life in the universe. With a tragic legacy of abduction behind him, and an inability to distinguish one Un-Earthman from another ahead, our hero has made the terrifying resolution to spread his blanket of colonic revenge across the stars.

But let it never be said that forcing yourself on all the moist orificii that space has to offer is a thankless task. Having received a radio transmission from Mr. McGullohanie (and a postcard which screamed and burst into flame immediately after being read) I’m pleased to report that all is well! Here we see none other than the questionably moral anal-missionary himself, chatting up a denizen of one of the many exotic locales he’s traversed in his long journey.

Poor thing doesn’t even know what she’s in for.

Spaceboy [Hugo Strikes Back]