A question assumed to only have one answer. Indeed, who among us has not gazed upon the the velvety folds of the female genitals and not wished they were larger, so as to better cradle our heads in their dewy embrace?
Most likely those of us who have followed that glorious dream with a Freudian nightmare. A vision of drifting off into a delicate slumber only to be suddenly short of breath; a distinct feeling of suffocation that violently intrudes upon the soft edges of sleep. Flailing ourselves awake we claw at our faces, now swallowed whole, desperately trying to free ourselves from the hot, moist grip of death. As the last, ragged gasps of air escape from our collapsed lungs it shudders, unhinging its inner folds and slowly, ever so slowly, begins the long process of feeding.
The award winning commercial for Luden’s cough drops featuring sound work by the one and only Frank Zappa. The voice over at the end makes it many times stranger than it would be on its own.
I realize that it is Wednesday, and that the weekly celebration of that singular follicular facial adornment has passed, however, this cannot wait until next week. No, this news must be shared immediately. Phil McAndrew, cartoonist extraordinaire, has announced the release of his story Are You Man Enough in bound, physical form, its cover allowing for the reader to have the tactile experience of fondling a real, fake moustache for the measly price of five American dollars plus shipping. For our readers outside the U.S., yes, Mr. McAndrew will ship anywhere in the world, should you pay him enough.
Now here is a simple, classic looking beverage container. 15 ounce stoneware cups, with an octopus silhouette in bas-relief. A worthwhile addition to any cephalopod-centric dining experience.
A promotional piece for Samsung’s new NV24 HD camera. The clip, featuring a safari, yawning lions, “Banana Boat Song”, and some questionable computer animation, teeters precariously on the edge of absurd and insipid just before losing its balance and plummeting into the abyss when the half eaten corpse of an antelope rises briefly from the dead to sing a verse and, perhaps, jiggle its entrails.
Welcome to Ectomo’s 33rd Mostly-Weekly Saturday Morning Cartoons Show. Today we present to you a smorgasbord of delectable animated dishes; a smattering of drama, horror, humor, and vintage erotica served up steaming hot for your enjoyment. So sit back, relax, and prepare to have you senses assaulted with ‘toonage!.
• Don Hertzfeldt. welcomes you to the show!
• Transformers: “”More Than Meets the Eye Parts 1-3″. Over an hour of thinly veiled toy commercials masquerading as a children’s cartoon. Learn how the Autobots and the Decepticons came to Earth and which plastic and die-cast metal action figure to beg for! Seriously though, while the cartoon doesn’t hold up particularly well and while it is just a glorified toy commercial, I still can’t shake my love for Transformers.
• Comedian Louis C.K. uses animation to explore some of his father issues.
• Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure: A piece of animation history; the first pornographic cartoon. Rumor is that it was made for a private party in honor of the great Windsor McKay and that such visionaries as Max Fleischer and the Mutt and Jeff studio were involved.
• The Real Ghostbusters: “The Boogieman Cometh”. One of my favorite episodes of this show, the design for the Boogieman is just brilliant, his oversized head, replete with glass-shard like teeth, and cloven hooves makes for a great image.
• Intermission, by Don Hertzfeldt.
• Welcome To Eltingville: “Bring me the Head of Boba Fett”. The first and only episode of this cartoon based on Evan Dorkin’s Eisner-Award-winning “Eltingville Comic-Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Role-Playing Club” published in the pages of Dork. Featuring four gentleman — Bill Dickey, Josh Levy, Pete DiNunzio, and Jerry Stokes — who are friends of a fashion, but geeks to the fullest. In this episode a battle erupts over the ownership of a Boba Fett figurine and hilarity thus ensues. Cameo by MC Chris, which I’m pretty sure was a prerequisite for [adult swim] cartoons for a while.
• Paranoia Agent: “The Holy Warrior”. Detectives Ikari and Maniwa interrogate Lil’ Slugger who confuses his realities and believes that the world around him is a medieval-style RPG while his quest is to defeat the evil Gouma who possesses other people to fight. Ikari and Maniwa follows Lil’ Slugger through his “journey” and see that it does coincide with all of the attacks — all except for Tsukiko Sagi. However, Lil’ Slugger points the detectives to where the old lady is who may posses the truth.
If you find umbrellas unwieldy and raincoats to be not quite absurd looking enough, then you may be interested in the UFO Cap, a combination of the two from Korean manufacturer Koryo Industrial. All I can think of when I look at this device — seemingly designed to make the wearer’s head and shoulders resemble a large, yellow, rain repellent nipple — is the image of Korean school children being blown down the street, their serving tray sized neck accessories turned into sails by the wind.
In sheer defiance of the World Wide Web Consortium's will, Ectomo was designed using a non-web-standard font. Luckily, it is included in the excellent font pack released by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which can be freely downloaded in Mac and PC formats here. Ectomo should still look fine without it, though.
