Oh my.

The Folio Society has released a gorgeous edition of William Golding’s classic novel with paintings by Sam Weber. Unfortunately, it is only available to members and the entry fee ain’t cheap.

Lord of the Flies [Folio Society] : DRAWN!

Oh, how I fondly remember those heady, summer days of my youth, the afternoon sun beating down upon us, baking our epidermises as we played under its harsh glare. It roused in our stomachs a powerful hunger and, as if by some magic, at that moment we would hear it.

From afar it wafted towards us, softly at first but growing ever louder, the musical, porcine squealing made its way up the street. Yes, the appearance of the lard carriage was a welcome sight and we waited impatiently as the ungulate lardsmen doled out delicious, creamy lard — no doubt stripped from the loins of their own siblings — to the children who flocked to the hypnotic sounds of the trumpet. As the carriage rolled off into the distance we stood watching it, our craving for lipids sated until the next day when the swine would again make their greasy rounds.

Tally-Ho! [Vintage Ads]

All I know is that its highly unlikely that a normal (i.e., not related to Lady Deathstrike) human being could, over time, scratch a hole into their brain cavity using their fingernails (which, again, even over time, would be worn down to nubs in the face of bone) and cause inexplicably green brain matter to leak out. Especially since in order to leak out, it would have to be either melting from high fever, or under pressure due to internal swelling, and either way she’d likely be unconscious, if not dead. Again, the wound probably just got badly infected (with staph or similar) and pustulent, which is a perfectly good reason to send someone to the hospital, especially if they have HIV. Its even possible that between the infection, the external damage, and the HIV, the virus managed to make it to her brain, or trigger a heavy fever, causing the apparent brain damage.

M was probably just misunderstanding or misremembering the incident, which is understandable given the stress she was probably under at the time. Unless I see a medical chart with notes saying “perforation of the skull”, or perhaps a particularly impressive episode of Mythbusters, I’m not buying it.

Comment by Joe Shadows — June 25, 2008 @ 8:17 pm

While Mr. Shadows and I may have our differences — for example: he thinks me a gullible fool and I am fairly certain that he is a Communist — we can both agree that the only way to settle this is to get the Mythbusters on this conundrum post-haste. Hopefully they can construct an itch scratching machine, comprised of a hand made from ballistics jelly and bone connecting to a large motor, designed for the specific purpose of creating a perforation in a severed pig’s head.

Heather Longton and Ellen Noble’s first prize winning photograph for a contest held by online shoe emporium, Irregular Choice. I imagine that, moments after this shot was taken, the porcine fellow looked up at the half-clothed nymphet, then promptly dropped his snout and began gnawing her foot off.

The IRREGULAR CHOICE Photography Competition [Irregular Choice] : Digital DJ

Behold Le Cochon Danseur (The Dancing Pig) from 1907, a short film of someone dressed in a shuddersome pig costume, dancing. He also appears to be enamored with a delightful young woman with whom he shares a sado/masochistic relationship in which he both fawns over her and gropes her and she embarrasses him by stripping him of his clothing and laughing at his loathsome, nude body. After they have finished dancing they leave the stage, which is when something seemingly distasteful happens. Honestly, I cannot even fathom what is going on at the end, but it is unpleasant.

Le Cochon Danseur (the Dancing Pig) [YouTube] : Bouphonia