An experimental gustatory VR helmet.

Oh those wacky Belgians! Above is a segment from the British TV show Eurotrash detailing the stupendous feces faeces making machine Cloaca designed by artist Wim Delvoye. Food is put into the machine and is then fed through a series of tubes into various chambers containing biological compounds that mimic the human digestive system, breaking down the meals and finally excreting them. The finished product is nearly identical to actual human waste, which is quite an achievement. Delvoye even offered the artificial shit for purchase, although he seems to have sold out of it for the moment.

This is not his first foray into the scatological. Previously he had a series of prints of women’s anuses using lipstick and tiles with images of his faeces on them. His other work includes tattooing pigs and x-rays of people slathered with barium fucking made into stain-glass windows. The idea for Cloaca comes from the idea that people don’t spend enough time agog at the miracle that is the human digestive system, which I suppose is true; most of my meditation done on the porcelain throne not being focused on the coil of crap I’m expelling from my body, I suppose.

Watching the clip above — ignore the annoying voices of the translators — one must assume that the piece is something of a success. After all, when is the last time you saw people so eager to get so close to poop or run their fingers through it? It seems that by merely removing the human element one renders the entire undertaking acceptably sterile.

Eurotrash Cloaca the poo machine [YouTube] : Cloaca : Thanks, bela!

While Americans continue to gorge themselves on retched, processed food chock full of a plethora of chemical preservatives and engineered flavors, the rest of the world is making their food taste awful the natural way. Take for example this traditional, Icelandic delicacy: rotten Greenland shark.

The sharks are full of urea and other chemicals which, in the shark, act as antifreeze but when digested by other animals are converted into neurotoxins, making the meat unfit for human consumption unless you know how to prepare it. This can be done by thorough and repeated boiling or, more traditionally, by letting the meat rot and the toxins ooze out of the fetid flesh. The cured meat has, apparently and unsurprisingly, the taste and smell of urine.

Rare Foods – Rotten Shark [YouTube] : Cynical-C

Duke Ellington is sometimes attributed with the famous quote “There are only two kinds of music. Good and bad.” A variation of this statement passed through my mind upon watching this piece on Lance Ozanix, a man who creates what he has decided to call, eloquently I may add, “barf art”.

Mr. Ozanix ingests a specific, secret, colored concoction which he then proceeds to vomit back onto a canvas. Sometimes he ingests several colors to create a “multi tie-dye look”. He also adds foods to the mix for different textures. His pieces have sold for “as much as five thousand dollars.” By all accounts, he seems to be doing quite well within his little niche.
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That’s right. I said it. I don’t care. Look at the above picture. Just look at it. You still doubt me? Think back to your bagged lunch in school, then look back at that picture. See? Bet your Fluffer-nutter sandwich doesn’t seem so special anymore, does it? Better off that you had never been born at all, than suffer the embarrassment you feel now.

Everyone, call your mothers and tell them how scarred you are now, having seen this. Let them feel the sting of shame! Feel free to also email them images from this collection of lunches prepared by a better, more artistic, Japanese mom. That should show them just how little they did for you.

E-obento [Bibi's box] : Make : Nonlinear Girl

I don’t know about where you live, but in my corner of northeastern Pennsylvania there isn’t much in the way of interesting food. The closest that I come to danger, upon the rare occasions that I eat out, is the threat of contracting bovine spongiform encephalopathy from my steak. I certainly do not partake in the life-on-the-edge culinary experience of fugu, or pufferfish.

Considered a delicacy in Asia, the fugu contains a deadly neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin (TTX), found in the liver, ovaries, and flesh. The fish are so deadly that sushi chefs in Japan must endure a vigorous test; a test that only about thirty percent actually pass. The small amount of poison found in the flesh produces a “funny tingly sensation on the tongue and lips”, which is good because, if you’re anything like me, garnishing your hamburgers with Demerol is both expensive and stressful (not so much post-meal, admittedly).

However in large doses, like those found in the liver and ovaries, the effects are quite different:

“Those poisoned gradually lose muscle control, although not consciousness, and eventually suffocate to death when the diaphragm becomes paralyzed.”

Fun! A firsthand account of a non-lethal case of fugu poisoning is quite harrowing:

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Girls, start baking: my birthday’s March 28th, and I expect several of these to be bikini-delivered-with-cephalopod-for-a-wig to my apartment that morning, Thanks, Matt!

Cthulhu Birthday Cake [love_crafting LiveJournal]

Unca Neil’s Special Cthulhu Cake [Cosplay.com]

Cthulhu Cake Concept (finished!) [Ian Strandberg]