Andy Rooney is, truly, one of my heroes. It has been my dream from a very young age to grow up a cantankerous old man, suspicious of all supposed “technological advances” and ready at all times with a withering diatribe with which to eviscerate the demons of all that is The Future. At the age of twenty-nine, I can say that I find myself right on track. Sixty and beyond is looking glorious.

That said, here is a clip of the intimidating Mr. Rooney comparing his many computers to his one, treasured Underwood and a nice story about how it took all the will power he possessed to not punch Bill Gates in the face for what he’s done to him and, by extension, everyone else.

Andy Rooney: Championing the people’s rights not to be confused by technology for a better yesterday, tomorrow.

Primping and preening such as I do — with an exaggerated care and precision born from the fear of skin slumped suddenly earthward in progeriatric defiance of the natural progression toward frailty — I can understand the sudden conversion to theism (and subsequent polite request) of Clayton Cubitt upon seeing the dual identities of Winston Churchill. However, if age and wither I must, I’ll take the Churchillian furrowed brow and wobbly jowls over the alternative unknown any day.

Churchill: Before and After [Constant Siege]

YouTube has been alive with the murmurings of Muppets recently, and I’m not just speaking of the fan-made variety. Just about two weeks ago this clip of Beaker performing Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” hit, and I was thrilled to see the inclusion of everyone’s favorite curmudgeonly critics, Statler and Waldorf. Now they have appeared in four, very short clips all featuring internet-centric one liners, the best of them easily being “Meh”, in which the dysfunctional duo find a place they can call home. To be honest, I’m not sure if these are old or not, but whatever the case I hope there is more.

Statler and Waldorf [YouTube] : Thanks, Vinnchan!