Christopher Robin Milne and Winnipeg “Winnie” the Bear at London Zoo, c1926.

Winnipeg the Bear [Wikipedia]

Well, it’s not like we could have avoided it forever. This Thursday marks that most expensive of holidays; the day some celebrate an imaginary person’s birthday by giving each other presents and some celebrate an imaginary person breaking into their home to leave gifts for them. Truly, it is the most magical time of the year. In the spirit of such activities, Ectomo presents a small sampling of the plethora of Christmas themed animated specials that have littered the airwaves over the years. We hope you enjoy or, at the very least, do no retch.

• A Charlie Brown Christmas: For the two or three people who haven’t seen this the plot is as follows. Charlie Brown, not understanding the meaning of Christmas, is enlisted to direct a Christmas play but is stymied by everyone’s desire to dance repetitively. He then buys a horribly stunted coniferous tree for the play and everyone laughs. Then Linus quotes the Bible. The End.

• Freakazoid!: “In Arms Way” What other cartoon would have a villain named Arms Akimbo?

• How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Chuck Jones animated version of the Dr. Seuss story with voice work by Boris Karloff. That’s all you need to know.

• Mickey’s Christmas Carol: Back when Disney produced animated cartoons of quality they made this, perhaps one of the best adaptations of Charles Dickens’s classic tale. Consider it the condensed version. The animation in this one, like the above entry, is simply top-notch.

• He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special: I…I really have no idea. At some point in the 80s He-Man and She-Ra had a Christmas special. This makes my brain weep.

• Monkey Dust: Season 3, episode 2 in which the Paedofinder General interupts a school nativity play, Ivan Dobsky has a “most terriblest nightmare” in which he receives a Playstation for Christmas — likening its complexity to “pong, but with three bats” — and “The International Revolutionary Jihad for the Liberation of the Islamic Republic of Great Britain” prepare to blow themselves up in the middle of a shopping center. All this, and more, in another twisted episode of Monkey Dust.

Lastly, [adult swim], while not allowing anything as convenient as embedding because they are jerks, has a section with all of their Christmas themed episodes in one place. So, if you are looking for your fix of Sealab 2021, Venture Bros., Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, etc. this is where you want to go.

Saturday Morning Cartoons XLIX: Christmas [YouTube]

This old, presumably Spanish, children’s book entitled Los Siete Vicios Capitales details the seven deadly sins, well known to Catholics — both current and former — and David Fincher enthusiasts. It was with a morbid curiosity that I immediately sought out the least child friendly sin of the septet, i.e. Lust. How does one illustrate such a concept for a young child?

Having stared at the above illustration for a time I remain confused as to what, exactly, has transpired here. If I were to hazard a guess I would suppose that the boy in this illustration, with the urging of Satan, has exposed himself to some awful Rule 34 type illustrations, probably featuring his favorite cartoon strip. This, in turn, has caused an angel to weep, because — as I am sure you are all aware — whenever you look at something that meets the requirements of Rule 34 an angel gets cancer.

Other interpretations are welcome in the comments section, as always.

Lust [Flickr] uploaded by Rev Guzman : Hugo Strikes Back!

No, sometimes it’s for xenophobia, the fear of strange things; like lampreys or the British. That is according to a wonderfully dark children’s book from 1974 entitled The Mime’s Alphabet Book which bucks the trend of most screeds dealing with teaching kids their ABCs by substituting insipid objects like ducks for real world truths, like dying:

Certainly a lesson that could only be realized with art of pantomime.

Mime Alphabet Book, 1974 [Flickr - Thrift Store Hell] uploaded by eliz.avery : Seven Deadly Sinners

I KNEW IT!

Inappropriate Children’s Books [Cracked.com Photoshop Phriday Ripoff] : Giania