Cthulhu Cthursday: Schoolboard V. Charles West
Posted by Ross Rosenberg
Via The Onion:
ARKHAM, MA—Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district’s monthly meeting Tuesday.
“Fools!” said West, his clenched fist striking the lectern before him. “We must prepare today’s youth for a world whose terrors are etched upon ancient clay tablets recounting the fever-dreams of the other gods—not fill their heads with such trivia as math and English. Our graduates need to know about those who lie beneath the earth, waiting until the stars align so they can return to their rightful place as our masters and wage war against the Elder Things and the shoggoths!”
Ectomo fully supports the efforts of Mr. West to enlighten the children of Arkham. They are, after all, our future.
Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum [The Onion] : Thanks to Anthony and Peregrine!
Categories: Cthulhu Cthursday, Education, Insanity, Lovecraft, Madness
Posted at 11:05 am on March 5, 2009
7 Comments -
I love you, The Onion.
Comment by Evil Jim — March 5, 2009 @ 11:07 am
Google maps doesn’t have a listing for Arkham. They are clearly not on the pro-madness agenda.
Comment by pdn — March 5, 2009 @ 7:17 pm
Oh if only madness was on the agenda when I was in school. I cannot begin to stress how much more prepared I’d be for the inevitable if the stories of Cthulhu and the Elder Gods had been taught to me when my mind was still innocent and suggestible. Perhaps then I might have even tried telling the people who thought my children were Christians today how gravely wrong their beliefs are…I can only hope that their souls are devoured in swiftly for they lack knowledge of the Lord Cthulhu’s existence and are innocent. Cthulhu fhtagn!
Comment by Naveed — March 5, 2009 @ 9:35 pm
Comment by Chiiru — March 5, 2009 @ 10:03 pm
Who’s Mr. Ward?
Comment by buzko — March 6, 2009 @ 10:28 pm
buzko – Mr. Ward was the name that I kept reminding myself was not that of the gentleman in the article. It all proved futile, it seems. Thanks for catching it.
Comment by Ross Rosenberg — March 6, 2009 @ 10:56 pm
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