Bringing The Biosphere Into Your Home
Posted by Qais Fulton
Against my own better judgment I recently acquired a pair of houseplants, hoping against hope that my total inability to care for anything even remotely living would remain dormant and that unlike their predecessors, these little bastards would prove tenacious enough to withstand my abusive neglect.
Sadly, it was not to be. One has long since gone to God’s greenhouse and the ivy is just barely clinging to life. How I managed to kill an ivy is something I will never understand. So when I saw this gorgeous mini-biosphere my heart sank, because the knowledge that I am a bringer of death to vegetation precludes me from ever having reason to own such a thing.
Victorian Exobotanical Containment Device [BrassGoggles]
Categories: Art, Asteriskpunk, Plants
Posted at 9:47 pm on January 25, 2008
4 Comments -
The problem is you’re attempting to care for the ‘normal’ kinds of life that ‘normal’ people do. I ask you, do you spend your days blissfully hanging out in baristas early in the morning in order to chat with your BFF’s about shopping? Or, do you go over to your buddy’s house in the wee hours of the afternoon to watch the game and then help him with fixing that old ’68 Mustang?
I think not, and as a fellow believer in the immortal, eldritch gods I cannot fathom that you would perform such blasphemous activities. You need to look in to the proper pets or house plants, the ones that are truly worthy of your eternal love.
Start off small and raise cockroaches. They are super easy to take care of, afet all they’re on your late night schedule. Just have a car when you open the fridge as they tend to panic. Your neighbors will truly love you for your success at raising the only form of life that would survive the elder god’s return.
If that doesn’t sound too good and would like a little more of a challenge try rats. They too are pretty easy and can provide many hours of entertainment as you listen to the screams of horror and disgust coming from the many apartments surrounding yours.
If it is a plant your want then try a Venus Flytrap or a Sundew – now there is a plant truly needing attention. Food is so easy to come by, too. Leave you back door open for flys, moths, children, whatever.
Here is some info to sate your curiousity: http://www.sarracenia.com/faq.html
Enjoy your new pets! :-D
~Epheros Aldor – Apostle of Cale
Comment by Epheros Aldor — January 26, 2008 @ 12:19 am
Dragonsblood. Mine was nearly immortal. Even when part of the stem was rotting away, fresh shoots were springing up right over the rotting section. Left it to die on my porch in the middle of (Illinois) winter, there was still one stalk in the pot that was green two months later. Four years of living with a bachelor, and irregular waterings, and it did the best Rasputin impression I’ve ever seen.
Comment by Pat — January 26, 2008 @ 1:27 am
Pet rocks. Can’t kill them, and they have the added bonus of making handy projectiles to throw at those damn kids that won’t stay off your lawn.
Also, toilet mold. Can be cultivated in the privacy of your washroom, and only requires the occasional “watering” and “feeding” – usually taken care of in the course of your daily routine.
Comment by racerabbit — January 26, 2008 @ 2:08 am
I’m totally gonna make one.
Comment by Eliza Gauger — January 27, 2008 @ 1:46 am