Peeping-Tom Dolphins Leer At Subaqueous Orgyists
Posted by John Brownlee
Some of the world’s richest people are reportedly using their private submarines to indulge in deep-sea sex in front of panoramic marine vistas.But these aquatic trysts are sometimes interrupted by groups of voyeuristic dolphins, which excitedly tap on windows with their beaks.
This is better, by the way, then actually taking a private submarine down to have sex with the dolphins. Although the slimy subaqueous mammals are often more than willing, one must watch out for their immense prehensile erections, which are S-shaped. And don’t even think about engaging in anal intercourse with one.
The definitive FAQ on interspecies dolphin mating warns: “In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.”
Dolphin voyeurs kill the mood for saucy submariners [MSN News] : ectotweeted by Joshua Normal
Categories: Fetish, Sex
Posted at 12:29 pm on July 17, 2007
5 Comments -
I remember reading years ago about a guy who used to have sexual relations with dolphins. I don’t remember the exact details but I would venture to guess he didn’t let them penetrate him.
Comment by Giania — July 17, 2007 @ 2:13 pm
Wasn’t there also a story a couple years ago about a woman who married a dolphin? I don’t think she had sex with it, but she swam with it.
And it was a wild dolphin too, who swam off with his pod shortly after the ceremony. Talk about your long distance relationships.
Comment by Peregrine — July 17, 2007 @ 2:26 pm
I find this man’s homosexual dalliances with dolphins to be utterly abhorrent. Human/dolphin relationships are between a man and a woman…dolphin. Or vice versa. Or something.
I also love how they casually mention the names of some people who own private submarines at the end of the article.
Comment by Ross R. — July 17, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
“Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?
A3) Accept, if possible!”
Ahahaha… Oh thank god for this blog.
That FAQ was taken from a website called something like “zoophiles.net” (long shut down) that hosted simmilar FAQ’s that described forms of intercourse with virtually any animal you could concieve having some weird sexual encounter with.
Oh it was hilarious…
In that kind of… you can’t believe you are reading what you are reading, but can’t stop because it is so unreasonably ridiculous kind of way.
I mean, I guess it’s only funny if you distance yourself from it. Thinking back, it’s kind of terrifying.
Hail the internet, revealer and unifier of all sorts of the dirty secrets of society that past generations could innocently ignore.
Comment by Nick — July 18, 2007 @ 3:21 am
[...] ectoplasmosis) Having a dozen dolphins banging their noses against the window? That would totally kill the vibe. [...]
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